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God, I loved this. I was free here.
I wanted to see if you’d dance for me.
You’ll hate me. I’ll love you. We have to stop. Make me stop. I can’t. I won’t.
dip. I opened my mouth, filling it with the same silent cry I made on that morning he was arrested, as I twirled and twirled, tears stinging my eyes, hoping to spin the world so fast I’d lose sight of him in my head.
Damon—or his family—owned my home now, and while he’d clearly been sleeping elsewhere all the nights since the wedding, he could still come and go whenever he liked. Without knocking. Without permission. Without an invitation.
I might not be able to handle Damon, but Ethan definitely couldn’t.
What the hell was I going to do? I was twenty-one, no job prospects, and I was scared. I would never be free while he was alive, and there was still so much he could take from me. He was already heavily at work on my peace of mind. He’d been out of prison for over a year before he made contact, and two years before he set his plan into motion. I’d gotten complacent in my sense of security, thinking he might’ve moved on. I was wrong.
And then . . . he was there.
What was he doing? I took his hand off my face and held it in mine, reassuring him.
He’d gotten close a few times, and while I knew he wouldn’t say no to more, it just never happened between us. He wouldn’t try again, would he?
The heat of his mouth was centimeters from mine, and suddenly my heart started hammering. He’d never felt like this. He was never forward, and I was instantly uncomfortable, old memories coming back.
“So pretty,” he whispered over my mouth. I could taste the smoke on his breath. Smoke . . .
Nononono
“I hate you,” I said to my mother, letting it go with my chin trembling. “I would rather live in the gutter than have him in our lives!”
“I know why she’d do this, but you’re supposed to protect me,” I told my mom. “He raped me!”
“We all saw the video. The whole world saw the video! You wanted him. You were in love with him.”
I forgot about the video
I had never been in love with him. Not with Damon.
In their eyes, I’d wanted it, and he was “the man.” But they didn’t know what was really going on in that video. They didn’t know what he’d done to me to get what he wanted from me.
There was a time when he scared me, and I liked it. I didn’t like it anymore.
Yes, it was. My anger seemed to be all I had anymore, and I missed laughing and smiling and the freedom of who I used to be. Before he happened, before the threat of his inevitable return didn’t always linger. Would I have things of my own again? Could I even fall in love anymore? After him?
who’s not going to question too hard when not all of his children look like him.”
I tightened my lips, now aware of his intentions. He intended to marry me off at some point like this was the nineteenth century. But he still intended to have his fun.
My heart thumped against my chest, the memory of how he felt making me pause.
“You raped me. And it wasn’t statutory rape. It was rape.”
“Whisper it like I did your name the morning they found me in your bed and arrested me, Winter. That’s all I want to hear. A little whisper.”
How I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated him, but how I loved what I felt with him more than I loved anything I felt with anyone else, either. I was so stupid.
My clit throbbed once, and I broke, silently crying as shame heated my cheeks.
Baby girl
“The fountain,” he pointed out. “Do you remember what happened in the fountain before we went to the tree house that day?”
Just that he was hurt, and I’d tried to help. The events after the fountain were what mattered.
So, this was it, then? He was going forward with whatever ugly desires simmered inside his twisted brain, because he was determined to not understand the pain he caused and that crimes have consequences? He’d gotten what he deserved.
only so many places to hide.” I curled my fingers into fists, and if I didn’t know it before, I knew it now. He had changed, after all. He’d gotten worse.
CHAPTER 7
Yeah, there was an accident when we were kids, and Ashby had clearly poisoned his daughter over the years to warp her memory of exactly how that all went down, but I hadn’t meant to hurt her. It was a fucking fluke, and kids have accidents.
The same way I felt with Banks and the basketball team, because there were things that only I could do for them.
See exactly how long it would take to get inside her head and fuck shit up.
When we were eight and eleven, it didn’t seem complicated to want to know each other, but now it was. People would read it wrong.
But then a look passed between us, and I wasn’t fucking laughing. His cocky smile started to fall, and he straightened up. Will was my best friend, and what was mine was mine. He knew that.
Yeez dude
It no longer worried me that there were things wrong with me. That over the years I’d developed different tastes than other people, or that I was harder to please than other men. The only thing that worried me now was that it was getting harder to please those tastes. It was like I was developing an immunity to kink and I constantly needed to up the dose.
It was always subtle, but I could see when it happened. The last argument dying in her eyes like it did with anyone I played with.
Get the fuck out of the pool and get her what she wants.
I didn’t know if I felt responsible for the fact that she now only had four senses with which to experience the world, but it was a strange feeling to want to protect someone from others when I knew I’d be worse for her health than anyone else.
She was perfect.
“You teach your daughter to hide in everyone else’s world,” I shot back, “and I’ll teach mine everyone else exists in hers. Go fuck yourself, and leave the kid alone.” I wasn’t sure where the hell I was coming from, because if Banks walked out of our room like that, I’d lose my shit. But with Winter . . .
NOt really how u treat banks but ok
“You teach your daughter to hide in everyone else’s world,” I shot back, “and I’ll teach mine everyone else exists in hers. Go fuck yourself, and leave the kid alone.” I wasn’t sure where the hell I was coming from, because if Banks walked out of our room like that, I’d lose my shit. But with Winter . . .
EXACTLY HA
Kai and I weren’t friends. We were brothers. In every way except biologically. Whether we liked each other or not, we were family, and we had each other’s backs.
He was the noble one. The voice of reason in our little group, and while I sometimes envied his happy house, I knew there would be a time when he’d have two choices—and he wouldn’t choose me.
He watched her, then threw a look at me, and I just shook my head at him. She wouldn’t cover up, but now she was leaving the party good and humiliated. Great job, asshole.
It was annoying, the loss of equilibrium when I closed my eyes, but I was sure it was far scarier than I realized. I would never know what it was like to be her, because I could always open my eyes.
CHAPTER 8
You’re a little . . . visible . . . through your shirt, he’d stammered in my ear. He wasn’t unkind about it, but it was still embarrassing.
Let a girl be wtf
The couple of hours I knew him as a kid weren’t worth any more harm he could do. I’d steer clear.
