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“Death always waits for men like us,”
“You are the madness he creates. You are the great fish. But Calder”—she shivers—“he’s the ocean, and he’ll swallow everyone whole. This is the last time I will speak his name. Because to say it calls to evil. But you are wrong. Death isn’t waiting for Calder. It’s listening for his instruction.”
“Leave me here. Please. Leave me with him. He can’t die alone. Please, God. Anyone. Please.”
“Calder. Stay with me. Please. I love you.”
“If you’re taking him, let me go too,” I whisper through my tears. “Please, please, please. You can’t be this cruel. I’ve listened and prayed. I do what I’m asked, what I’m told. You can’t punish me like this. I’m begging you. I can’t live without him.”
“It was all worth it. You are mine, and I am yours.”
There is no me without him. No world I’d be forced to exist in without him in it. The thought is unbearable. Physically fucking unbearable. I keep screaming because it’s a herald’s cry. I hope the heavens fall to earth and the devil rises to imprison it here. Because there are no stars and no purpose. Without Calder, nothing exists.
He has to because he’s the only person that fills all those cracks and crevices inflicted on my heart.
We were perfect. All the beauty of beginnings and him—the possibility of love.
Can you feel me now, Calder? Because I love you. And I need you. I’m trying to be strong, but I don’t know how long I can live this hell before I break. I’m so tired. Please come. Please.
“One day, everything you’ve built will burn to the fucking ground. And I’ll be there to strike the match.”
If death couldn’t hold him, nobody can keep him from me.
“She was wrong about you, you know. One look and I can see that you’d never roll over. There’s a fire burning behind those pretty green eyes. It’s a shame he can’t keep you. Because you, girl, might be the most dangerous fucking creature I’ve met.”
“The day Calder comes will be everyone’s reckoning. And I won’t even pray for your souls.”
“There it is…that fire. The anger. But I still can’t tell if you’re a scared little animal backed into a corner? Or a wolf ready to eat?”
“Love isn’t for men like us. We’re too selfish.”
“This is what it looks like to be a wolf, little girl. This is Calder’s birthright. I am who he’ll become. And you don’t fucking change that.”
We’ll never run away. There won’t be stars or blue skies filled with heavens staring down on us. All we have is death and destruction. A life sentence, forced to survive within the absence of our love.
“I heard her whisper my name. I know she’s not dead. I’ve been chasing her voice back here from hell. Because no-fucking-body keeps me from her.”
“Then let her be damned, God, because I told you. Not even you can have her.”
If I couldn’t protect him in this life, then I’ll give a pound of flesh to protect his soul.
“Let’s get you to your girl. Because everything after this is gonna be a fight.”
“I’m gonna end this, Roman. For all of us. But I’m gonna kill them all for her.”
“He’ll find no peace in this life or after. I promise you that.”
“I love you, Sutton. You’re my magic. My forever, baby. Don’t take that away from me.”
“Not even death, baby. Not even then.”
I’d let them all die tomorrow to keep her.
“You’re always mine, baby. Even in goodbye.”
“You’re my home, Sutton,” I whisper, slowly pulling back. I put my hands over hers and look into her eyes. “And I’ll always come back. But we can’t have magic and forever until I make the rules. Until I’m king.”
“I would wade through hell to be with you, Calder. No matter how long it takes.”
This beautiful fucking girl is stronger than she’ll ever know. Everything I do for the rest of my fucking life will always be for her.
“You don’t. There is no fucking difference between where I begin and you end. Not now, not ever. So we’ll do what we have to so that we survive until we’re together again.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter what happens in the in-between, Sutton. Because I’ve seen the world without you, baby.” His eyes meet mine. “And on my fucking life, we won’t die before I know it with you again.”
“I vow to always love you above all others. No matter what.”
“I will always protect you, even with my life.”
“And I will always protect you, even against yourself.”
“I promise to die by your side when we’re wrinkly and fucking gray. So that we’ll never be apart again.”
“And I promise to love you even after death.”
“I’m yours. And you are mine. Not even death does us part.” “Forever,” I whisper back, leaning into his kiss. But this isn’t just a kiss. It’s the consecration of our love—our vows. A declaration to the universe that we’re fated and nothing can keep us apart. Our mouths meet again, reverently, lip over lip, as we fall into each other deeper. Existing only for one another. No end, no beginning. I don’t know how much time will pass before I see him again, but I know deep down in my soul that I will. And that’s all I need.
Because I love her down to the depths of my soul. So fucking much that it makes me dangerous.
Soul mate would be the easy word, but what I feel is deeper. I recognize my soul in her. Like it’s split between us, and we’re only whole when we’re together.
“I want us, Calder. It felt like there was nothing between us when we did this before. We didn’t have to be strong or brave. We were just raw, stripped down, and so in love. I want to feel that, the real us, before all the fucking tragedy. I just want to be that girl that gets stars and magic, just one more time before we say goodbye.”
“No goodbyes. Ever.”
It’s possession. I know because I feel it too. No matter how long we’re apart, we’ll only ever exist for each other.
The hate I feel is consuming me. Trying to hold me under until I explode, but this is what I have to do to get her back, even if I want to give in and destroy everything around me.
My life was always about you. Before I knew it. You saved me. Gave me purpose. Led me to be the man I was supposed to become. Because for an angel to walk on this earth, it’ll need the protection of the Devil. There are a lot of empty pages I’ll never be able to fill in, so now it’s your turn. Tell me everything. Yell, scream, and cry in here, baby. Because one day I’ll read it all. Soon. –C
He’s shaking with every breath, just as murderous as I am. Our eyes meet, and a promise is made between us. No matter what happens in this room, we tear that motherfucker apart.
“You make him suffer. Don’t you fucking dare make it quick.”
Every man that joins this family pledges their loyalty, and then when the time’s right, they’re initiated. But the Irish don’t fuck around. Initiation is by blood.
You beat a man to death with your bare fucking hands. Because death should always feel uncontrolled and scary. And every Irishman should know how to wield it.
