Every Last Fear

by Alex Finlay

EVERY LAST FEAR Alex Finlay

I don’t often do reviews, that’s what I figure kindle notes is good for, saves trying to remember parts of the book come the end. I call my rather unique mental scaffolding ‘the spidey web’, it, along with a Olympic sized swimming pool full of ‘little red fishies’ (red herrings) & of course myself, spend the entirety of any book being read battling over a plethora of plot twists, guesstimating, maybes & hopefully semi hilarious puns & diatribe, although, be warned before you read, as sometimes I even scare myself ;) So without further ado…

duck faces,

the little red fishies are off before I’ve barely read a page! However, I had to look this up, I know the face but not the name … or is it I know the name but not the face? Try thinking about that in all it’s circumstances & you’ll drive yourself crazy, well, crazier than me! (Maybe, as there’s a long long ladder downwards)

His hands and nails were always impeccably clean; maybe he’d worked in the medical field.

My hands are dry and I pick my nails, (not bite) and I was in the medical field for years

“For while others speak, he watches. And while others act, he plans. And when they finally rest, he strikes.”

Nice, could be used on a few various circumstances. Almost like it should be in The Art of War by Sun Tzu

“How about your father?” He shook his head, every part of him numb. They hadn’t spoken since their fight over Christmas break. His heart sank. The last thing Matt had said to him—

Damn, gut kick, the last thing I said to my Dad wasn’t a fight or anything, it’s just I was trying to talk him & my Mum through setting something up on a tablet I bought him, and neither of them were understanding what I was saying, and I got frustrated and the phone call was cut short by me, as I said not a fight or swearing not even angry words, just, ugh I’m sure if anyone in the future has a life so boring that they read my notes, you can imagine what I’m trying to say. And that was the last time I spoke to him before he died mere days later, I can’t even begin to describe what that feels like.

CHAPTER 2

After 2 crappy books, FINALLY!!! I was beginning to think my book picking mojo had gone, but this one,I’m already thinking it’s a good thing I don’t have to go to bed early nor get out of it that way too and then nothing to do ALL day long, but READ!

Agent Keller nodded, and the owner disappeared inside.

I love her!

Linkin Park.”

cranking up the car stereo, both of them belting out the lyrics to “Numb.”

Haven’t thought about that song for ages! I know everyone probably says it, but damn it hits home, especially the mother part

dry drowning,

Looked it up and it wouldn’t take days to happen, it happens quicker than that, but hey, I’m trusting Google here ;)

“The song said something about no one caring if a single star burned out in a sky of a million stars.”

Makes me think of my little phrase ‘Til the last star falls from the sky’ I wrote it in the beginning of 2016 and it’s noted & dated as my own written quote. I had it inscribed on the box my cats ashes as I used to say “I’ll love you until the last star falls from the sky” I don’t think it’s too shabby & I’m surprised it’s not really been used. But hands off as it IS mine! You can use it, but it has to give s nod my way :)

“Nicholas Sparks . . . ​You ever see The Notebook?” “Of course. The critics hated it, but it’s a cult classic.

I don’t think anyone could watch that and not bawl their eyes out, but the ending, it goes so far up into the stratosphere you can’t even see it. Not watched it? Go get it now!

pushing a wheelbarrow

The little red fishies wonder if it could of been a setup? Oh yeah, and to not leave bodies in their creek!

“Manhattanhenge,”

I had to Google it, never heard of it,and wow, even the photos are nearly spiritual, it’s like when good old Mama Nature puts on a show we cannot be anything other in in awe of her breathtaking capabilities, and I am well & truly in awe. Side note, the irony of man’s ways, Mother Nature gives us beauty, we cover it over with what we think is better, then 4 times a year we crowd to see a glimpse of that beauty we carelessly, thoughtlessly covered over while Mother Nature just gave a sardonic smile. We build a city that enfolds over us, dwarfs us below the scaffolding, looking at the bright neon lights we laid over top of what was once there and we called ourselves Queens & Kings, on our own thrones, while those lights were strung from lampposts like Christmas garlands.

“I don’t know it. It’s in my phone.” The art of remembering a ten-digit number extinguished by Apple.

Yes and no, before apple we never remembered our landline number as we never called it.

Nothing Ganesh would say—nothing anyone could say—would make one bit of difference.

And it’s always like that. The one thing I think people need to know is don’t be scared to say their name, talk about them, you want to hear any stories, or just their names, anything us better than stalled silence.

Finally alone, Matt balled

Just like me, stoic, for the length of time it took me to get me to my front door, A to B, no stops, directly home then I smashed my iPod into the wall and…

“So you think it was just an accident?” “I didn’t say that.”

Well the web & the fish are holding a debate, the fishies as usual are always a little more frivolous and they wonder if someone from the past who was related or close to, the poor dead girl is getting revenge (not really a frivolous concept but at least they tried!) The web on the other hand thinks it’s an awful long time to wait to do that, I mean the term of ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ is very true for various reasons However, good old me, SuperEgo that I am, running this ship we’ve all set sail on, thinks the jailed brother is innocent, which means there is someone out there who got away committing murder, and they may very well like to keep it that way, the who, what, where & why, it’s a work in process, as is reading the book!

In a quiet voice, he said, “Can I go home now?”

I read a book on the Memphis 3 and could barely control myself, I can’t believe cops, lawyers, judges etc act this way! What happens is a gut wrenching tragedy the entire way around. Lives destroyed and the even worst part, if you’d think that was even possible, was the fact the real killers are free to roam, harming and killing others. Makes my blood boil!

blood always flowed hot,

Synchronicity with above note & I never read ahead or alter, if I’m right, that’s great, I’m not? Then I’ll get a couple of bottles of cider and have a pity party ;)

The momentary thrill of winning that game had been stolen from him like everything else.

Hey! Those are my thoughts! I think somedays all it takes is even just a split second thought of liking something, getting enjoyment, a n y t h I n g At all and it goes wrong, Mum says I’m negative, but she hasn’t seen my ‘score card’ sometimes life IS really out to get you, and I think if there’s such a thing as reincarnation, god only knows what I did in a past life to deserve this one. /pityparty

Matt stormed out of the building,

The only issue so far is that I can’t imagine the fbi let him just go running around on his own if they thought there was anything at all was wrong with his families deaths. At the very least they’d have him followed and given the ‘accident’ he would of been brought in for his own safety.

If they crashed, Matt realized, few people would really care. Jane would make a show of how upset she was, and sure, the gang from Rubin Hall would get together, tell a few stories, give some toasts to Matt Pine. But he’d soon become an afterthought.

Ok when he said this group of his friends were all dazzlingly good looking & super intelligent Mensa members, I rolled my eyes. But now he’s gone from how loving, caring and kind they are, to saying they don’t really give a damn about him. That doesn’t work for me either.

They’d say seize the day lest you suffer the fate of the Pines.

Hate to break it to you, but that’s life, no matter how special, life goes on, even for those who do love you.

“This has the name of the consular officer who will meet you at the airport. He’ll know where to go, but just in case, I also included the address of the police station and the name of the local officer in charge of the investigation.” Matt glanced at the paper, then folded it up and tucked it into his front pocket with his passport.

The spidey web would like to say, that this is glaringly obvious, and the fbi need their heads read just letting him wander around by himself. I can see where it’s going, he’s going to get separated from this Mexican guy, they get attacked, he gets away, something like that and he’ll be on his own until she saves him.

“But these local cops have been being difficult.

Which is why in reality they’d N E V E R send him alone, kinda ruins the book

“All right,” he said. “I’d better get going.” “This will probably help.” Keller gave Matt his wallet and smartphone.

I really dislike parts of books that try to be realistic, but don’t quite make the jump. If the fbi cared enough to contact him etc, it sounds so far like they think something fishy is going on (not the little red fishies, who are currently showing what trout pout really looks like!) but they’re not staying with him in anyway? Although I’m sure there’s a tracer in his phone or wallet, or both.

Guys like Eric Hutchinson were trouble. And they usually didn’t appreciate girls like her. They would someday, her mom assured her, but it took longer for the male brain to develop.

Both the web and the fishies are giggling away, smutty stuff does that to them & they reckon the reason that’s the case, is because there’s way too much blood going to other places than their poor old brains! ;) by the time they’ve wised up to this fact, most of the ‘good girls are way gone and picking out white fences & paint colors for a nursery.

she’d be quite the beauty, like her mother. Or her “hottie” brothers.

So far every single character has been gorgeous, supermodels, how about normal?

after the Netflix series aired.

Guilty conscience

And she’d nixed her glasses for contacts. They felt like grains of sand under her eyelids every time she blinked.

Unless she’s wearing cheapies they’d never do that. I wore them for years

There was even a cheesy DJ bobbing behind a sound system.

They usually love themselves just because they can spin tracks, well some that I knew did, except for one who was the best cutie, but couldn’t keep his hands constrained to himself or the decks *insert exaggerated eye roll here*

“But DNA—they must’ve—” “I don’t think they ever ran Charlotte’s DNA. And why would they?

I was thinking this before when it was first mentioned.

Matt had read about a study finding that by the time kids are eighteen, they’ve had an average of 4,200 arguments with their parents. Matt and his father had probably shattered that mean.

I think I’d outscored anyone on this, out of the stratosphere strike and I could of run laps for hours before they found the ball!

she found the search engine report. It contained every search made through the family’s internet service in the past three months. Searches about takeout food (“menu for Thai Garden”), the weather (“is it going to rain today”), education (“best MIT dorms”), leisure (“what’s on TV tonight”), health (“why can’t I sleep”), arts and crafts (“how to make slime”), and the other infinite queries of an ordinary American family.

And back in the day they had massive sets of encyclopedias being sold to families under the guise of it being, the best way, the only way that children would get a good education. I have to wonder what’s worse, a failed 2nd hand car salesman ripping you off for a few thousand dollars, or your kid doing an innocent search for school homework and ending up seeing something that’ll be seared into their poor brains forevermore … not much of a choice is it

I’ve gotta warn you,” Judy said, swiping the tablet, “the photos aren’t for the faint of heart.” Keller tried not to gasp.

She’s fbi, a photo shouldn’t have this effect

Evan could’ve realized there was a gas leak and stumbled outside before succumbing to the toxic air.

A father & husband would never of left before getting them.

the girl was being cyberbullied. At 2:00 A.M. there had been an onslaught of messages—hurtful, vile messages. Teenage girls were the worst kind of mean.

Oh boy are they what! I think nearly all teenagers, but especially girls, are mixed up little sociopaths, trying to find their way in the world, one killer 10 inch heel into another’s back step by step, not caring the slightest for the dripping blood heel points left behind them. Their sarcastic wit could give my poor old web a run for her money, and the poor little fishies are still recovering after the last run in with s catholic school girl no less! Who said she’d gut them and make fish fingers! Poor wee things just need some ‘me time’. In all seriousness though teenage girls can be right little b1tches who couldn’t care a less if they bullied someone to death, and a group of them? I’d run, and I am saying that with complete seriousness.

“Appears so. I could kill Fisher for getting us involved.”

Sigh, could the author please refrain from putting the words kill & fish in the same sentence, at this rate they’ll never get over the prior fish fingers comment!

I’ll call the embassy and see if our people in Mexico City can help.”

I’m really enjoying this book, so I hate to say it, again, but I doubt irl he’d just be left to do all this himself, he’s still a kid, and the fbi is involved. Just doesn’t sit right.

The deputy director was a tall man, at least six two, which seemed to be a prerequisite to making it to the top in testosterone-laden federal law enforcement.

Heh, I thought that when I was in hospital and every single doctor was so damn tall, not a shortie in sight!

It was one of those old-fashioned clocks you’d see in elementary schools, round with a white face and black numbers.

Heh, and in NZ hospital departments all set, supposedly, to be accurate and in synch, well, they should of known it wouldn’t work, thank god for computer clocks otherwise who knows what could go wrong. And yes I am being sarcastic, but truthful at the same time, kinda like the clocks, although I don’t need batteries ;)

Matt shot a quick glance toward the bar. He saw two hard-looking men with crude tattoos

The spidey webs muttering something about beautiful girls, yet again, and is rolling her eyes like only a spider can. But besides that she says not to trust someone who comes onto you like this, rather suspicious…

“It was great to meet you,” Matt said. “Have a great time at the wedding.”

This is just one of the little things that irk me, it’s me & me alone (along with the web & the fishies of course) I don’t like the same words being used too close together, like they have been here. “It was GREAT to meet you,” Matt said. “Have a GREAT time at the wedding.”

After a while, the road turned desolate—

I feel a bell ringing coming on, she’s too good to be true

“Your old boyfriend’s getting promoted from lieutenant governor to the big boy job.

Ding … not sure why yet, but there’s a muffled ding coming from the corners of the spidey web and the fish have stopped circling… what if the real killer was someone like, well, this guy? He didn’t like to be told no? Or maybe Charlotte was seeing him behind Danny’s back and HE was the baby’s father? They got in a fight over her being pregnant, he didn’t want his perfectly mapped out future destroyed, so he destroyed her instead, and even more, what if he knew about the serial killer & thought he’d be blamed, then Danny did instead, or hell, maybe he just didn’t care. The spidey web needs a lie down after all of that! I’ve just come back to add to this, I think I’m getting my timelines mixed up a little Charlotte couldn’t of been seeing him, well she could, but when I said that up top I was thinking of them all being the same age, same friends, parties etc, but I’ve realized that can’t be, he was the mothers boyfriend way back so unless he did a ‘back to the future’ episode the timelines wrong (thunk I need some red string & drawing pins) There’s 2 ways left it could work, he made a play for her and she rejected him could still be feasible, but so could holding a grudge and waiting on one of Mama Bears cubs to get to the point he wants him to, then he kills her and sets the son up, I like it, I’m confused (nothing new) but the theory’s growing on me. Off with both the web and all the fishies for a slumber party.

Noah had been an outspoken supporter of Danny,

I don’t think I need to say why…

Liv’s high school boyfriend

I can’t help but wonder if a very good red herring was the near rape earlier, to get this in readers minds,because my ding earlier is still sounding off, but did I guess that because of a nudge? Or am I a clever flipping reader?! Maybe both? Now I have to go off and console the wee red ones, they’re packing a sad because I said herrings above and not them! *sigh*

“She’d probably tell you to go for the boy who wants to be part of your story, not just you being part of his.”

God that could go in so many circumstances, not just love, and it’s nicely worded.

I’m not sure we have the ability to give him the care he needs and deserves.”