Every Last Fear

by Alex Finlay

Such a handsome family.

*gag*

that Mr. Foster was about to have a very bad day.

Or he already had one, maybe he didn’t just not show up, he’s dead.

HR, Keller thought. Human remains. What an impersonal way to refer to someone’s family.

Assuming this is a real used term, it probably is called that within the system and just becomes the way they’re called, also people don’t want to hear ‘dead bodies’ around, they may get weird looks! If they just say HR no one knows what they’re referring to.

Today, he hoped, would be a better day. And really, could it possibly get worse?

Oh lord, never say or even think that!

loud thunk.

Synchronicity, I was just thinking the word thunk before I turned the page, I often mistype and have to edit thunk back to think and I’m tempted to just leave it, but thought “no, fix it” do I did, then turned page and voila….

He said it so casually that it all almost started to make sense.

This is like when in a movie someone’s making the worst mistake of their lives, but they just can’t see it, and the entire audience is yelling “NOOOO!!!!!” & yet it still plays out & your just left helpless, unable to do anything but sit and watch.

trolls fed on hate and drama and engagement. Instead she’d simply take away their platform.

Clever, exactly the right thing to do, works irl too, you don’t react, or you react as though nothings wrong, they just look a little lost and a lot silly and will generally leave &/or stop, the exception is a drunk bully, they will feel insulted and react badly, but no matter what you’d said or done, that was a fait accompli no matter what, irl, walk away.

The truth was that the older Toby got, the less use he had for humans.

I know the feeling, my teens & twenties I’d go out by myself if no one else was, now I’m the polar opposite

he’d retreated into his computers and his mission to create the next Big Thing.

So he’s a ‘white hat’ and

“It may require you talking to some of your sketchy web friends,”

Hey I’ve got some of those! Well used to, we all got old & drifted

“There’s open-source code these porn freaks developed based on the Russian technology,”

I’d believe that, especially right now in April 2022 when WW3 is trying to annihilate us all because Russia has invaded Ukraine with no provocation and is doing its best to kill every man, every woman & every child as they trudge their way around while help can’t get in and they won’t let anyone leave. They have basically turned the entire country into a concentration camp. Oh and why this made my wacky web wake up is because they’re also using DF’s on Ukraine’s President, making him say things he’d never of said and showing their own Russian citizens as it being true and the sheep they are, they’re believing it all. One I saw was SO obviously fake, the skin tones weren’t the same & whoever did the layering and smoothing once they had the final pieces needs new glasses!

RBG,”

? I googled and it only shows a Supreme Court justice…

She was a badass, she told herself. And that prick wasn’t going to get the best of her.

Read the words and change the concept & it’s a great play on words ..

minimize the blurriness around the head”—

Ding

“I need you to film me again.”

I can see this all going really bad really fast. They’re going to trip someone’s wire & alert them they’re being watched, which is why what happens in Mexico happens, I just hope this poor guy doesn’t get hurt, because it’s his IP number that they’ll jump on, then onto him, they’ll want to know who knows what, then they will kill him.

INTERVIEWER (O.S.) This sounds really personal to you.

May as well make apples out of roadkill ….. umm hold up I don’t think that’s quite right … ;)

Seeing Noah’s son, a former classmate of Danny’s, flooded her thoughts with the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens.

Well, well, isn’t that quite a ‘dark red fish’? With absolutely no connection to my little red fishies who are in a world of their own, well, actually inside my mental guesstimating gymnastics may be more appropriate. But anyway, someone the same age, seems some lives there have become quite entwined over the years and you have yo wonder which one of them did what, if she was pregnant, there’s a big liability issue there that only rich, influential people can ever seem to understand, and I for one don’t want to understand something like this! So, like father like son?

“I’m really glad you stopped by,” Noah said. “I thought after last time . . .” He trailed off. “I’m sorry about that. I was in a bad place.” “No, I should apologize.”

Ohh yes, just like father like son… I wonder who’s the father of who?

prison.

Well, well, well, haven’t some people been up to no good….? This certainly spices things up on so many levels.

“You should get out of Tulum.”

Speaking of, what happened to the girl and her pals?

CHAPTER 30

SAC was a bit of a bull in a china shop, and more than willing to bust into Marconi swinging his dick. She’d convinced them to exercise restraint.

Why on earth guys think bigger is better I’ll never know, it does seem though that the concept is all that matters for some of them and it’s sadly & ironically funny that the biggest thing the rest of us saner human beings think about the entire thing is how the limit on their credit cards keeps climbing up with every knock back & bad date as though it proves that driving that Porsche & eating at the best place means they are ‘the man’. Oh, and they can pay off that blind date not to say a word!

another woman, pretty again, appeared in the lobby.

Just about 100% of the characters are ‘stunning’ ‘perfect’ etc *sigh* even the fishies are rolling their eyes, the web however is steadily spinning threads of her web, something about pretty people tasting better … ;)

She’d come to Adair to solve a problem and she did it. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.

I know the feeling!

She opened both front windows, and flashed to an image of herself as a teenager, driving too fast in her father’s station wagon, the wind blasting through the cabin, her hair dancing in the tornado.

That makes me think so much of a friend, she loved to drive, and drive fast, no convertibles, but windows open, music blasting, any time I hear a song about doing it, or like this, read it, I think of her, she had a shit life at times, but she never let it get to her, always smiling and it was contagious. She’s no longer here, and I miss her, let’s just hope there’s roads wherever we go to afterwards and she’ll be cruising in the sunshine.

Before.

In the left corner, we have Noah, influential, boy next door, her lover, in the right, we have his son, are one or both responsible? Well the webs keeping them up there stuck like glue until we know more, think of it as a spidery jail cell. There’s something that’s been bugging me though, her youngest son, whose was he?….

The kids were different now. When Keller was a girl, it was the landline telephone, meeting at the mall

Ditto and my parents phone was NOT cordless so I had to sit right by my parents talking if I wanted to use it, absolutely no privacy! I have memories of sitting there writing love poems for a friend so she could give them to a guy she liked, how damn naive were we!? As if a teenage guy would ever care about that! Although to give him fair play I can also remember sitting in the lounge at my house with the 2 of them and for some reason that I can’t remember and I have to wonder if we were stoned or drunk, but we were mucking around with makeup, and decided for him to be our test dummy, he must of really liked her, even back then, as he let us do it, no photos though unfortunately! He passed away last year, the pair of them had lost touch for a LONG time, but found each other again, and fell back in love. I know, it sounds like a corny romantic movie, but it’s true, he got cancer, seems everyone & their dogs are dying from that! It was so sad though, life just enjoys kicking you sometimes, I’ve always wondered how it would of turned out if they’d stayed together, they didn’t break up, she moved to Australia and the relationship just dropped off. Such a really nice guy, then you get aHoles in prison who rape & murder, but live out their years. 😕

Keller wanted to shout, So why didn’t either of you tell anyone? But such was the teenage brain.

Yep it’s like “you just don’t get it” “you’ll get angry and/or blame me” “you’ll just make it worse” last ones a personal fave, and in a case like this, while they’re all true in various ways, blabbing about it & people knowing you did? Forget a little worse, we’re talking catastrophic social suicide!

Law & Order.

Don’t forget SVU! Which is probably more apt.

the sheep spends its life worried about the wolf, only to be eaten by the farmer.

Heh, I like it!

margaritas were good, though, and the waitress packed him a giant slushy tequilaed mess in a Styrofoam to-go cup for the plane.

You can do that?! Damn, never knew flying was byb!

Matt sauntered out.

Glad to see he didn’t cause a fuss, things like this? It’s what you call ‘being the better/bigger man’ or ‘they’ll get theirs’

a bar shaped like a casket in Ukraine,

Oh the irony… it’s April 2022 and Russia is obliterating the country as well as its people, it’s like an awful horror movie, except it’s miles beyond what any Hollywood director would even think feasible enough to make. The devastation & viciousness is enough to sicken anyone, well you’d think so, but Russians seem to think it’s fine to rape & murder children in front of their parents, to shoot the sick, the old, people just trying to get away. Putin has put the worlds consideration of Russia back to the dark ages. Germany & hitlers crimes are abhorrent, but now….

And they’d dropped everything to be here for Matt. He tried to contain the emotion swelling his chest.

Hmm, would this be the same people that he totally dissed in the earlier part of the book? Saying they’d act upset got a wee while then just shrug it off and forget all about him..?.. hmm? He made them sound beautiful and self centered, now…. ?

“Highway to Hell”

Well picked

Ganesh didn’t care about material things. He valued experiences and friendship. Money was always available, an afterthought, a means to an end. The rich were indeed different.

Yes, because rich people dont have to worry about paying a bill, what you need to put back out of the grocery cart as you can’t afford it all, instead they’re able to dream & make those dreams real. Financially I’ve been up and down, but more often down, until I got my last job and for me I was making good money, around $1000 a week in my hand, it may not sound like much, but it was enough, then I got ill and everything went into deadfall. I can’t work anymore and am stuck on a govt benefit of $500 a week! To say that’s not enough … I’m now having to pull food out of my cart, red meats a delicacy I can rarely afford, and even then the cheapest cuts and even then they have to be on special. When people look at others barely scrapping by, or living in a car, or a shelter, govt housing etc etc, don’t think they’re all just lazy & useless, life can throw you curveballs, I should of still been in my job & money no problem, but due to a medical issue out of the blue that I did nothing to start it & am helpless to stop it and there’s no cure for it, it just is what it is. So yeah, before you blame the person, realize that it can happen to anyone, even you.

He made his way past two men smoking near the front door, and to the parking lot, which was lit by a single streetlight.

Oh dear

In truth, the pediatrician had missed the signs, mistaking Tommy’s stomachache for constipation. When his appendix ruptured, it was life-threatening,

Gee, they must the same Dr as me, mine didn’t keep up with assessing my warfarin levels & they got so high it caused a subdural haematoma, bleeding around the brain. The only reason I’m still alive is I knew something was badly wrong and called my Mum who came and got me & we went to the hospital, if I’d just gone to bed, just figured I’d be ok in the morning, I’d be dead, no exaggeration I’m damn lucky to still be here, I have no memory after calling my Mum until I woke up in the neurosurgery ward after having a hole drilled in my head to release the pressure, oh well, I got a good haircut, all shaved on one side! I know no one will ever read this, but if you are, and your ever in the position above, trust your gut.

The affair was an illusion,

They nearly always are, but when they fall apart emotions are supercharged and people want to hit out…. *insert raised eyebrow here* the fishies are divided, it could of course of been a pair of affairs *add another raised eyebrow* like father like son? I’ve said this before, but it’s sticky taped to the web and she’s not letting go and just keeps repeating “baby baby baby” because it’s just one more ingredient to the ‘Devils Cake’ & I think this cakes chocolate with one hell of a chili kicker!

“Sure.” Liv handed Tommy the phone. “It’s Daddy.”

It’s heartbreaking reading this knowing they’re all going to be dead, that there’s no happy ending, that no matter what is done, said or fixed, it’s just ….. If the author intended this effect, they’ve achieved it perfectly.

her thoughts returning to when she was a girl. In those days they spent more time outside—running the fields, fishing at the creek, riding bikes.

Just talking with my Mum earlier today about how kids today miss out on stuff, when I was little we used to drive to, what then was on the outskirts of suburbia & the country to go strawberry picking. People would bring their own containers, empty ice cream ones, buckets, kitchen bowls, then you would go and pick under the summer sun however many you wanted, I’ve got memories of warm strawberry juice running on my face and fingers, sticky, sweet & utterly divine! These days, those fields are gone, replaced by car parking around a mega mall. I think it’s terribly sad that simple things like that are taken over & away, and we call it progress, but progress to what?

He said he was gonna fix it.”

Ooooh….

And then she ran off.

Hopefully staying safe. There’s skyways the elite in small towns that can gloss over anything, even murder. Theory #58 his son did it, I’ve already said why, then the affair ended & he, daddy dearest, decided to kill 2 birds with one stone…

She was trying to help. So was Noah,

Yes, but help who?

It filled his own heart with pride

And every readers one’s with sadness

And who would kill a little boy?

Maybe someone didn’t want evidence in the form of dna, that could be used to prove parentage

For the first time, he remembered that Jessica had ghosted him after Danny’s arrest. Avoided him at school. Not returned his calls. How was it possible he’d forgotten? He had such vivid memories of that night. The itchiness of the grass on his back as they lay watching the stars. The feel of her hand holding his as they walked this very path. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear in the prelude to the kiss. After Danny’s arrest it was a montage of misery,

I think when we infiltrate our memories we want 2 things, well 2 main things anyway, 1 panders to our need to be happy and to not think we’ve missed out or wasted opportunities, so our memories, for the most part gloss over the little stuff. Number 2 however is the polar opposite, our brain is designed yo protect us, so any really REAllY negative memories are often locked up in boxes under padlock and key and shoved to the back under the spidey webs watchful eyes, all 8 of them. The little red fishies have dug out a moat around there & prowl like piranhas making doubly sure nothing gets out. Smaller less hurtful memories though are usually closer to the surface, an early warning system so we don’t repeat past mistakes, well they’re supposed to, but try telling me that every Sunday when I woke up with a hangover vowing to never do it again! Katy Perry said it best in Last Friday Night!

The vast conspiracies from the talking heads and internet detectives, grown men and women with too much time on their hands.

Actually some of them are far from that characterization and have helped solve cases.

She couldn’t recall a single instance when Noah Brawn had lost his shit.

Well, I can sure thunk of one..

“I know,” Liv said. “I’m just so pissed. I mean, how hard is it to keep an eye on an elderly man with dementia?”

You’d be surprised, even card/manual open doors are no feat to those who like to wander, had to take a patient from a locked ward back to it one time, you either opened the doors with a pass card or get the nurses to open them, and yet the wiley bugger got out and 3/4 way to a flipping lake!