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Kindle Notes & Highlights
When you have a job where you’re only required to come into the office once a week, it’s not ideal to zone out like a kid in algebra for fifty percent of that time,
too relatable 😩
“No, you’re tiny,”
a straight romance is never complete without a tiny woman! when will I know peace
“Contentment is a lie invented by capitalism,” Art School Rachel says,
Apparently the completion of long-term goals often leads to depression.
“Me neither,” I say. “Not yet.” He thinks for another moment. “Love,” he says. “I’m guessing love.” “Yeah.” I nod. “Me too.”
It’s more like sculpting. Gentle pressure on all sides that briefly compresses us into one living, breathing thing with twice as many hearts as we should have.
It gives me a surprising thrill to hold his hand.
The rest of the world dissolved until I believed this was how things truly were. Like I’d never been that girl who’d felt entirely alone, misunderstood, and I’d always been this one: known, loved, wholly accepted by Alex Nilsen.
“I tell you what. You can have my summer breaks. I’ll keep those wide open for you, and we’ll go anywhere you want, that we can afford.”
Not that Alex’s body isn’t great. It is great.
I loved to delight him, lived for it.
simp
He always tastes like cigarettes or beer,
I actually couldn't cope with this
When our server left us with our menus, Alex did that old-man thing, where he opened it and reared back from the prices with widening eyes, like a startled horse.
this is when I thought me and Alex are soulmates 🥰
As long as I have him, I will never be alone again.
Sometimes it feels like I didn’t even exist before that. Like you invented me.”
“I just want …” I shrug. You, I think. You. You.
“Stop being impatient,” he teases. “I’ve waited twelve years. I want this to last.”
twelve years of this. in azkaban
We never speak about what happened again. I go on loving him.
Years of undying love, occasional jealousy, missed opportunities, bad timing, other relationships, building sexual tension, a fight and the silence afterward, and the pain of living life without him.
Maybe things can always get better between people who want to do a good job loving each other. Maybe that’s all it takes.
We’d let our libidos get the best of us
funny, my therapist said something similar about me last week
Living, being responsible for myself, seems like an insurmountable challenge lately.
oh girl what a mood
Sometimes I scrape myself off my sofa, stuff a frozen meal in the microwave, and as I wait for the timer to go off, I just think, I will have to do this again tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Every day for the rest of my life, I’m going to have to figure out what to eat, and make it for myself, no matter how bad I feel or tired I am, or how horrible the pounding in my head is.
sending this to my therapist
During our first session I tell her I need help figuring out what comes next for me, but she recommends we start with the past instead. “There’s not much to say,” I tell her, then proceed to talk for fifty-six minutes straight.
ME in therapy hahaha
The moment when I finally know I’ve won: I got out. I made something of myself. I found a place I belonged. I proved I wasn’t broken while the person who was cruelest to me stayed stuck in crappy little Linfield.
And even on those days when one or both of us is having a hard time, we’ll be here, where we are completely known, completely accepted, by the person whose every side we love wholeheartedly. I’m here with all the versions of him I’ve met over twelve years of vacations, and even if the point of life isn’t just being happy, right now, I am. Down to the bones.
this book should be called happy place 🥹🫶
