A Vow of Hate (A Vow of Hate, #1)

by Lylah James

“– caught off guard, I was go...

My wife could despise me as much as she wanted – but she burned for my touch. Her body responded to me like we had known each other for a lifetime, like she was born to be mine. Greedy. Wet. Needy. I could almost taste her yearning on my tongue – sweet and bitter.

“Do you touch yourself at night, when you’re alone in bed… at the memories of my fingers between your thighs, caressing your pussy?”

I knew very well Julianna hasn’t been with a man since our marriage – I was only taunting her, pushing her buttons because I quite enjoyed the look in her eyes whenever she snapped. And even if she did take another man to her bed – I would have found out and the poor man would have been dead by now. His body, with all its shattered bones, dumped into the ocean, dragged away by the waves into the depth of the sea. Where no one would have found him. His existence very easily erased from history.

“Tell me, do your nipples ache at the reminder of my touch? Does your clit throb when you close your eyes and think of how good my fingers felt between your thighs?”

“Need I remind you, our thirty-nights were over last night.”

“So, is tonight foreplay?”

“Does foreplay include me strangling you because I’m very tempted.”

“I might be into choking, who knows.”

“Did you just stutter?”

“You’re maddening,”

I spun her around just as the music came to an end. Her back collided into my chest and my hands landed on her hips, keeping her trapped against me. My gaze slid over the back of her slender neck and I saw the way the tip of her ears pinkened.

Her grey eyes never wavered from mine and it killed me.

And Julianna broke, right in front of my eyes. She killed me. Looking like an angel and my goddamn nightmare.

my hands landed on his chest, trying to push him away – or maybe, to pull him closer. To wash away his pain and let it bleed into me.

“You drive me utterly mad,”

His head lowered, his lips brushing against my earlobe.

“You drive me utterly mad,”

he repeated, his voice still soft, against the ...

“With that fucking cello. Looking like a goddamn angel under that chandelier sent to taunt me with her pretty fucking grey eyes. Playing the cello like a sad love...

“So fucking haunting. So goddamn beautiful. How dare you, Julianna?”

“How dare you make me look at you as someone other than Gracelynn’s killer? It’s not fair for you to have such power over me.”

Julianna Spencer had me in knots and I was just so goddamn confused. I was supposed to hate her; I still did – but why the fuck did my heart ache when I looked at her?

How ironic. I vowed to make her life miserable, yet she was my nightmare. I was the monster; she was the villain. What a fucking pair, we were.

I was Killian Spencer – a man with restraint. It didn’t matter that I had a wife who made me feel so out of control, I had to be contained.

She suffered in silence and I watched her, gleefully. Until her pain became my own – without me even realizing it. How? I don’t know. She maddened me. She confused me.

“Did you know? That Grace was pregnant with your baby?”

The truth of my love tasted like ash in my mouth. I couldn’t breathe. All this time, I had thought my love story was some tragic tale. But my love was anything but pure – it had been stained. Not by Julianna or the blood she spilled that night. It had been tarnished by Gracelynn herself.

“Old memories are hard to let go, especially when they are good memories,”

“Sometimes good memories can turn out to be bitter.”

“Life would be boring without some bitterness every now and then.”

She was betrothed to one man. But loved another. She danced with one man. But made love to another. Gracelynn was set to marry Killian. But was carrying Simon’s baby.

“Drop the dress, Julianna,”

Her dress pooled at her bare feet until she was standing in front of me in only her silk bra and panties. Something twisted in my gut and my dick twitched in my slacks, hardening at the sight of my wife, standing in front of me – offering herself to me. Her surrender. Her devotion. Her undoing. Fuck. Julianna Spencer was so goddamn maddening.

I didn’t know what I expected when I came to her room, but it was definitely not me being aroused by the simple sight of her bare skin.

“Sit down, Julianna. Discard the rest of your virtue and show me how you touch yourself.”

“What?”

“How do you touch yourself at n...

“Show...

I arched an eyebrow as I unbuttoned my black dress shirt. Her gaze lingered over my exposed skin before she slowly dragged down her panties and dropped the thin fabric beside her feet. Her bra soon followed until she was naked to my eyes, except for the masquerade mask. Her breasts were heavy and swollen, her nipples puckering tight in the cold air. Or was it anticipation? Her hand inched between her thighs and she quivered. I was already rock hard, my dick pushing against my slacks in a very obvious manner. Her gaze darted there for a second before she gasped and looked away. My lips curled as her whole body flushed.

“Hook your left knee over the armrest and spread yourself for me, wife. I want you to delve into your deepest desires and show me the woman behind the prim and proper façade, the expensive gowns and jewelleries.”

Her grey eyes...

“Why? Why can’t y...

“I will hur...

I rasped. I didn’t want to have to touch her, in the way she needed to be caressed and devoured before I took her. To make this more intimate than it already was. Me fucking her would just be… mechanical. Detached from any type of romance or intimac...

“Maybe I wa...

she shot back, nudging her chin up like a ha...

“You don’t know what you’re asking fo...

Julianna slowly brought her leg up, hooking her left knee over the armrest, just like I had ordered her to do. So vulnerable – there was beauty in surrender and it looked decadently sinful on Julianna Spencer. In this position, spr...

“Pain is subj...