A Vow So Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers, #3)

by Brigid Kemmerer

This autumn, Grey is gone. This autumn, I have a girl to stand at my side. This autumn, I suppose, I am nineteen for the first time. The curse is broken. It doesn’t feel like it.

I want to beg her to leave, but it will only make her linger. When Grey was trapped here with me, I took solace in the fact that I never suffered alone. Now I do, and it’s … agonizing.

we already know how rhen has suffered at the hands of lilith, so this is hard to hear.

Lilith waits in the shadows at my back. There once was a time when Harper invited me to her chambers to protect me from the enchantress. I wish she could do that again. I haven’t been in her chambers in months. There is too much unspoken between us.

damn. i did not know that this is how things haven been throughout the last book. although i can certaintly see why, it doesn't make this any less sad.

No matter how many times I remind myself of that, I can’t forget what he did to Grey and Tycho. I can’t forget that I came back here instead of going with my brother. Instead of going with Grey.

DO NOT even get me started about this harper and grey bullshit again. seriously.

I glance away. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I turn toward the door he just came through. “I should go get dressed for breakfast.” I hear him sheathe his sword, and then his hand catches my arm gently. “Please.” It’s a broken word. A desperate word that cuts the tiniest hole in my anger. “Please,” he says again, and his voice is so very soft. “Please, Harper.” He has a magical way of saying my name, his accent softening the edges of each r to turn a couple syllables into a growl and a caress all at once, but that’s not what gets my attention. It’s the please. Rhen is the crown prince. The future king. He doesn’t plead. “Please what?” I say softly. “Please stay.” He means right now, but it feels bigger. Broader.

so much has changed since acsdal

We. Such a small word, but it tightens my chest and makes it hard to swallow. It’s more than I deserve, surely. I want to pull her against me, to bury my face in her neck and remind myself that she’s alive, that she’s here, that she’s safe. But she’s angry with me, with the choices I’ve made. I force myself to be content with her hand on my arm. With the word we.

I’ve been dreading this “party” since the instant he mentioned it, but it’s nice to feel pretty for five minutes. As much as I try not to think about it, the scar on my cheek and the limp in my step are a constant reminder that I’ll never be classically beautiful or effortlessly graceful.

oh harp, if only you knew how adored you are for everything you are.

I’m confident in my strengths, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about my weaknesses.

I glance at Freya in the mirror. “When did you talk to Jamison?” The soldier was one of the first to lend support to Rhen and Grey when I convinced them to leave the grounds of Ironrose and help their people. He’s another person who hates Syhl Shallow, after one of their soldiers took his arm and destroyed most of his regiment when he was stationed in Willminton. Now he’s a lieutenant in the regiment stationed nearby, but he’s rarely inside the castle. “When I took the children to visit Evalyn last week,” she says. “We saw him on the road back.” She pauses. “He was very kind. He accompanied us to the castle.”

omg!!! are sparks flying between two of our faves? bc if so, we are wholeheartedly ready to support!

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.” She shrugs a little. “I … wasn’t sure I was.” She strokes her hands along the skirts and sighs. “But it would be foolish to offend the crown prince again.” I frown. “Don’t look like that,” she says. “I thought maybe you’d want a friend anyway.” Against my will, tears fill my eyes, and I step forward to hug her. Her arms are tight against my back, but she says, “You’ll undo all of Freya’s hard work.” “You’re such a good friend,” I say. “I don’t deserve you.” She draws back to look at me, her eyes searching mine. “Yes, you do.”

i've missed these girlies. :')

“I have done nothing to your friends, my lady. And I would never hold them accountable for your actions.” “Is that a threat?” I demand. He blinks, startled. “What? No. I do not—” “Because Grey spent his life doing everything you asked, and the first time he didn’t, you strung him up on that wall.” He jerks back like I’ve slapped him. We’re not dancing anymore. There’s suddenly an icy distance between us. Music pours across the dance floor, but we’re motionless in the center of it. The crowd has gone silent, and there’s a weighted tension in the air. I’m breathless, too. I can’t believe I said that. Until the words fell out of my mouth, I never admitted to myself that I felt that.

damn.

I’d forgotten she could be like this. Right now, I’m so angry that I want to tell Lilith to go to hell, that she can take Harper back to Washington, DC, and I’d be glad of it.

this is pretty ruthless. and honesly i don't quite know where my own loyalties fall. they both have endured such different pains and are taking them out on one another. it's certainly not pleasant to read about.

But while he’s good at doing what I say, sometimes I wish he were better at doing what I don’t. Grey would have stopped Harper from entering the party without me. Grey would have interceded before Zo did. Grey would have— I need to stop thinking about Grey. He’s gone. He’s my enemy. You strung him up on the wall. The words are like a dagger she plunged into my chest, and it’s hard to breathe around it. I wish Dustan had brought me a glass of sugared spirits. Grey probably wouldn’t have done that either—but he would’ve thought to tell a servant to do it.

omg. we've been reading for so long about how this distance has effected grey. it hurts just as badly to hear this from rhen.

in the beginning. I have learned that when you go missing, I should check the stables first. Grey said that to me, on my second day in Emberfall. Against my will, my eyes fill, and my throat tightens. I lost my mother to cancer, and then I lost my friend when Grey fled, and then I lost my brother when he went to help. And I’m the idiot who stayed here. Because I believed in Rhen. Because I believed in Emberfall.

this is hard hitting.

I sniff the tears back, but I do it quietly, because I don’t want Dustan to know. I shiver again, clutching my forearms to my abdomen. Dustan sighs. A moment later, a cloak drops over my shoulders. I turn, and I’m sure there’s fire in my eyes, because Dustan holds his hands up. “You don’t need to be cold to spite me.”

these are the moves needed to begin earning my favor, dustan. this is something grey would have done.

“I still hate you,” I say. “Yes, my lady.” His expression is inscrutable. I wonder if he hates me, too. But some of the tension between us evaporates. Not all of it, not by a mile, but enough that I can feel it. No pretense, no hidden motives. We might not like each other right now, but we understand each other.

“I don’t want to keep fighting with you.” “Nor do I.” He strokes a tear off my cheek. “I should have told you.” And I should have asked. I should have known. I sniff. “You—you needed to do it. And I would have stopped you.” “No. You would have helped me find a better way.” His eyes don’t leave mine. “You always help me find a better way.”

this is healing and beauty.

A light sparks in his eyes, and Rhen tugs me into the aisle, letting the stall door fall closed. I take advantage of the narrow distance he’s suddenly granted us, and I yank at the buttons of his jacket and the buckle of his sword belt all at once. Then his mouth claims mine again, and my fingers stop working. His don’t. I distantly hear his weapon strike the floor, and then his jacket is gone. I can feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt now, the long sloping muscle of his back. He strokes a hand up the front of my corset, lighting a fire when his fingertips brush along the barely exposed skin of my breast, and I curse the fact that Freya tied the knots so tightly. Maybe I should have worn that other dress.

OMG HOT AHHHHHHHHH

My heart gives a jump in my chest. I was wrong before. It’s not that he puts Emberfall first. He puts me first.

The doors are thrown wide, and four guards sweep into the aisle, weapons drawn, eyes seeking a threat. I give her a withering glance, then stoop to grab my jacket and sword belt. At least she is fully dressed.

omfg this is hilarious

I haven’t been drunk in months. Not since the night Grey returned Harper to Washington, DC. Before we knew anything about his birthright. Before the curse was broken. You are incorrigible. I have no idea how I put up with you for so long. Grey’s words. The only time I’ve ever seen him drunk. Probably the truest words he ever said to me. He stood with me on the castle parapets before I turned into a monster the final time. I sought to sacrifice myself. I was going to jump. I was terrified. He stepped up and took my hand.

Harper launches herself out of my arms, and I realize a moment too late that she’s seized the dagger from my belt. “No!” I cry. I remember the last time she threw a weapon at the enchantress. But Harper doesn’t throw it. She drives the blade right into Lilith’s midsection, throwing her weight into the movement and bringing the enchantress to the floor. Harper kneels on her arm, then wraps the fist of her free hand in Lilith’s hair. She leans down close. “Go ahead,” she whispers. “Take me home. Let’s see how long you live on my side.”

hells yes girlfriend! this is the harper we know and love

CHAPTER NINE LIA MARA

oof ive been waiting on this one!!

I face six opponents. Four are soldiers in Syhl Shallow’s army, two women and two men. One is my guard Talfor, and the other is Jake, my best friend and closest ally.

BEST FRIEND :') OMG

Jake steps closer. “Let’s do it again,” he says equably. Jake’s very good at playing the peacemaker, at pulling the tension out of a moment without making anyone yield ground.

sense when has jake ever been refered to as the"peacemaker" - we're not confusing him with noah, are we??

Once the attendants leave, Lia Mara looks at Noah. “You have my thanks, as always.” He smiles, then claps me on the shoulder before turning to leave. “It was all Grey this time.” She looks up at me, and I’m sure my mood is no secret. “Forgive me for interrupting your training sessions,” she says. She pauses. “You may return to the fields if you like.” I can’t tell if she’s teasing me or if she is trying to put on a brave face, but it doesn’t matter. I won’t be dismissed as easily as Noah and her advisors. “You were attacked. I will not leave this room.” “You will have to leave eventually,” she says. We’re alone now, but her guards wait just outside the open door. It’s rare that we have complete privacy, and even so, there is much gossip about my relationship with their queen. “If you wish to rest, I will remain in the hall.” She puts out a hand. “No.” Her eyes find mine, and in that moment, I see her fear, her uncertainty. “Stay.”

this is the content i have been wanting!! quality noah time and grey and lia mara fluff

Lia Mara goes very still against me, and for a moment, I’m worried my anger has gotten the best of me. I don’t want us to be at odds. But then I realize her heart is pounding in her chest. Her fingers are gripped tight to the arm I have wrapped around her. She’s not angry. She’s afraid. That steals some of my anger, replacing it with a fierce protectiveness. I brush my lips against her temple. “Fear not,” I say softly, the same words I once spoke to her in Blind Hollow, after a soldier from Emberfall had put a knife to her neck. “No one will touch you again.”

i cannot fathom how much i love their love

I don’t want to feel reassured by Grey’s presence at my side today, but I am. Mother never wore a weapon in front of her people, because she said it implied she did not trust them. But Grey is fully armed, and he’s made no secret of it. His expression is locked down and closed off, as distant and cold as I’ve ever seen him. Princess Harper once called him Scary Grey, and she’s right. When he looks like this, he truly is frightening. Jake is here, too, along the wall with the guards. He should be out on the training fields, or spending time with Noah, or practicing swordplay with Tycho, but instead he’s here, his cool eyes assessing everyone who comes through the doors. He’s far less stoic than Grey, a bit more flippant and irreverent, but he’s grown every bit as dangerous as the sword-wielding prince at my side.

oh MY GOD grey and jake protecting lia mara is simply everything

“You hardly ate at breakfast,” Grey says. “And I thought you might like a walk.” His voice is easy, revealing no tension or concern, but then his hand rests over mine and he gives my fingers a gentle squeeze. This is one of my favorite things about him. He could easily take control. He could have taken over in the throne room, and I wouldn’t have stopped him. He could be questioning my guards and making demands. But he’s not. He’s not yielding, either. He’s … he’s supporting. His voice drops. “Rumor of the attack will spread. It is important that you do not seem afraid.” I have to swallow again. My fingers tighten on Grey’s arm. “I am afraid.” I speak the words so softly that I don’t want to hear them. “I know.” He pauses. “But I also know you are stronger than your fear.” He nods ahead and inhales deeply, as if he’s unaware that his words have lit me with a warmth I didn’t realize was missing. “Can you smell the food? Let’s surprise them with their queen.”

omg please never change this relationship please lord. im so petrified that plot conflict is going to stir up some unnecessary shit between them and i just couldnt cope.

But then he leans in. “As I said,” he murmurs, and there’s pride in his voice. “You are stronger than your fear.” That makes me look up. I just flinched at … at nothing. I almost caused a girl to get slapped across the face—and maybe worse. “I don’t feel very strong.” He looks pointedly at the serving girl, who is now on the opposite side of the tavern, speaking with two others. They glance in our direction a few times. “They seem to think you are,” says Grey.

“I’m glad you’re my ally now,” I say. His eyebrows lift, and I blush, because it sounds so sterile out loud. “I wouldn’t want to face you on a battlefield.” “I wouldn’t want to face you on a battlefield either.” “Liar,” I say, and I’m teasing, yet also serious. “I could never defeat you in battle.” “On the contrary.” He takes my hand and kisses my fingertips. “You know all the ways to make me yield.”

OMG IM SO OBSESSED WITH THEM IT LITERALLY DESTROYS ME INSIDE

But I wish she could see herself as I do. As they do, right now in this moment. Because this is when she’s most impressive, when her strength shines through her words. Rhen was such a fool to turn her down when she came seeking peace. Even today, I made them fight, but she made them stop.

Lia Mara looks up at me. “I should return to the palace. I have duties to attend to. Will I see you at the evening meal?” “Yes, of course.” I pause. “Should I return with you now?” Her eyes meet mine, and I know she hears what I am not saying. Do you want me to remain at your side? Lia Mara lifts her chin. “I can manage.” “I have no doubt.” I lift her hand to kiss her knuckles, and she blushes. “Well,” she says coyly. “Perhaps you should not take too long.” That makes me want to follow her immediately. But I have a field full of soldiers, and I’ve gained ground. I can’t lose it now.

sweet bby jesus my serotonin levels are astronomical

He begins to turn away, but I hold fast. “She was wrong.” He hesitates, glancing from my hand to my face. “Wrong?” “She said I would have ordered you to fight until you couldn’t hold a sword.” I lean in, keeping my voice low. “She was wrong. I would have tied it to your hand.”

holy fucking shit grey is so fucking hot are you joking

I was so preoccupied with Lia Mara’s safety that I didn’t take a moment to wonder about the fate of the rest of my friends. No one would dare to hassle Iisak unless they wanted to see their skin in ribbons while taking their last breath, and Jake is more than capable of fending for himself. Noah is savvy and cynical, and he’s endeared himself to enough people here that he doesn’t face the same kind of grudging acceptance that I endure every day. But Tycho … My breathing has gone tight and shallow by the time I stride into the infirmary. “Noah. Have you seen—”

grey is always the protector, its one of my most favorite things about him.

Noah glances at us. “Hey, Jake.” “’Sup,” says Jake. A platter of nuts, cheese, and fruit sits forgotten at the corner of the table by Noah. Jake shoves it to the side to cock a hip against the wood, then grabs two apples.

"sup"??? am i the only one worried about jake and noahs romantic relationship or?

Something bats at my ankle, strong taps that I can feel through the leather of my greaves. I look down and see the kitten has emerged from under the table, and it’s smacking at my boot laces with its paws. I lean down to scoop the creature into my hands. It immediately digs in with claws that seem to rival Iisak’s. I let go with a swear, and it bolts under the table again. Blood appears in stripes across my fingers. Noah is laughing. “That kitten only lets Tycho and Iisak touch him.”

omfg grey with a kitten - i couldnt think of a more odd pairing, so this makes sense hehe

I look at him in surprise, and Noah adds, “He’s worried he’ll disappoint you.” I glance at the window. Across the field, Jake and Tycho have taken up sparring positions, their shadows long in the fading light. Men like Solt will rely on strength instead of speed, and sometimes it makes them lazy and overconfident. Tycho never takes anything for granted, and I watch it play out in his skills whenever he’s on the field. It’s part of why he earned respect from the other recruits. He’s willing to risk his life in this war, and he demonstrates it every day. And not because he believes in Syhl Shallow or my right to rule. Because he believes in me. “Tycho has never disappointed me,” I say. “Maybe he needs to know that.”

“Hey, Grey,” Noah calls after me, and I hesitate in the hallway. “For the record,” he says, “you’ve never disappointed us, either.”

my heart. omg.

“How can you ask them to fight for you when you won’t fight for yourself?”

Without warning, he turns to look at me, and my breath catches. I’m trapped in his gaze. A knock sounds at the door, and I jump a mile. “Be at ease.” Grey lifts my hand to kiss my fingertips, and sparks light all the way up my arm—but then he lets go. “This will be our dinner.” He heads for the door, leaving me to melt into a puddle by the window. Did fate have to send dinner right this moment? I want to ask.

Now we’re alone again, and the food is steaming between us. I’m afraid to touch anything. Grey is studying me, and he says, “I can have a guard taste it.” I’m being ridiculous. I have tasters in the kitchens, anyway. But still. “No, no,” I say after a moment. But I don’t touch the food. Grey gives me an ironic glance, then swiftly slices a small piece of everything on his plate and tries it all. I stare at him with wide eyes. He has magic that would keep him safe, surely, but— “It’s fine.” He lifts his plate and gestures for us to switch. “Take mine.” I feel sheepish, but I swap with him anyway. I imagine sitting here alone, staring at a platter, watching it get cold while I deliberate over whether someone would poison me. I’m so relieved that he stayed, that he’s here, that I nearly burst into tears over my food. I have to swipe dampness away from my eyes. “Indeed,” says Grey. “Your chef’s roasted chicken often brings me to tears, too.” His voice is so dry that it makes me giggle through my tears. “In a good way?” He grimaces. “No. She may as well light it on fire.”

i could cry over my love for them oml

“I wasn’t sure there was anything worse than shellfish until you mentioned running to get it.” That startles a laugh out of him, and the sound lodges itself in my heart. He’s so reserved that smiles are earned, and true laughter is hard won. Every time it happens, I feel like I need to lock the sound away in a box to treasure for later.

“I suspect he may be struggling with his chosen role.” “Well.” I uncork a bottle of wine and somehow restrain myself from pouring thrice as much as I usually would. “He is not alone in that.” “No.” Grey sighs. “He’s not.” He pushes his glass toward me. He almost never drinks. I raise my eyebrows. He shrugs. I pour.

THE RETURN OF DRUNK GREY MY BODY CANNOT HANDLE THIS EXCITEMENT

I’ve drained half of mine before he reaches for his glass, but he takes the smallest sip before setting it back on the table. His eyes follow my motion, though, watching the tilt of my glass, or maybe the curve of my fingers around the stem, or my lips or my throat or— I need to put this glass down. My cheeks are on fire, my thoughts a million miles away from where they should be. He’s tracing a finger around the base of his glass, and I blush. “I thought we were both going to be reckless,” I say. But of course, he’s never reckless. Never careless. Grey confirms it when he says, “I should be with your guards, Lia Mara.” He’s probably right, but the words pierce my heart. Then I realize he hasn’t moved. Those dark eyes are still fixed on me, his long fingers still tracing endless circles around the glass. Fight for yourself, Nolla Verin said. I swallow. “I want you to stay with me,” I whisper. He closes his eyes and draws a breath, and then he drains half his glass. Abruptly, he sets it down and shoves the wine away. “Silver hell. That will lead nowhere good.” I don’t know if he means the staying or the wine, but I want to challenge him to drink it. For once, I want to see him lose control.

oh. my. god. hot.

My blush deepens, and I glance at his hand sheepishly. “As if you couldn’t break my hold.” “As if I’d want to.” “As if—” He leans in to press his lips to mine, and I suck in a breath. My fingers are still wrapped around his wrist, but it feels like he has caught me. His mouth is warm against my own, slow and intense, drawing a small sound from my throat when his tongue brushes mine. I don’t know if I let him go or if he breaks free, but his hands are suddenly on my waist, lighting a fire inside me. My back hits the cold frame of the window, making the panes rattle. I gasp in surprise, but he captures the sound with his mouth, his weight against me now, heavy and addictive. We’ve kissed before, but he seems closer than he’s ever been. His kisses have grown more insistent, more sure. More of a challenge than a question. My hands drift along the muscles of his arms to his shoulders, his chest, seeking skin but only finding so much leather, so many weapons. His fingers play at the edge of my belt, where I’m a little ticklish, and it makes me giggle and squirm—until his other hand slips lower, finding my hip through the robes, making me flush and gasp in an entirely new way.

I break the kiss, tucking my face into his neck, breathing hard against the sweet warmth of his skin. I can’t think. I can’t speak. I want to laugh. I want to cry. “Grey,” I whisper. “Grey.” “Faer bellama,” he says against my hair. “Faer gallant.” Beautiful girl. Brave girl. My eyes fill, and I draw back to look at him. He lifts a hand to brush the tears away, then leans in to brush his lips against my damp cheek. “Faer vale,” he says. Gentle girl.

i have no words right now. yall really had to do my feels like this?!?

Then my fingers settle over the harsh edges of his scars. I can’t tell if he freezes or if I do. Either way, my hands slow. Stop. Slip away. Grey has drawn back a few inches. His eyes are dark and inscrutable now. I’ve only seen his scars once, when we were on the run from Emberfall. We’d taken shelter in a cave in the mountains, and he didn’t realize I was looking. Even then, it was only a brief glance, a tiny glimpse of something terrible. Noah has seen the worst of it, from before Grey was healed, but otherwise, he’s kept the marks hidden. Even when Princess Harper first brought him clothes, he refused to let her see what had been done to him. Maybe the scars make him feel vulnerable, or maybe they’re a reminder that someone he once trusted could cause such torment, but the air between us has shifted. There’s a shadow where a moment ago there was light. I don’t know if it’s pity for his anguish or awe at his strength or rage for what was done to him—or some emotion I can’t even identify. Whatever it is, I reach for him again, sliding my hands under his shirt. He’s tense now, but he doesn’t move. When my fingers drift across the marks, he shivers, his breath catching the tiniest bit, but he doesn’t pull away. I push off the wall and step into him, pressing my lips to the skin at the base of his neck, letting my hands travel up his back, holding him against me. I can feel his heart beat against mine, quick and fluttering like a trapped bird, but as I hold him, as my finge...

this is so incredibly powerful and beautiful

I shiver and my breath catches, but he leans in to press another kiss to my lips. “You’ll have to forgive my inexperience.” “You’ll have to forgive mine—” I begin, but his gentle hand slips under my robe, and my back arches into his touch, and I find I can’t think at all. “I’ve heard many stories,” he says against my cheek, his voice teasing as he drags his teeth along my jaw. “You read so very many books.” His thumb strokes against a sensitive bit of skin, and I gasp again. He draws back enough to find my eyes, and he smiles. “Surely, we can figure it out.”

jesus christ i dont know how to breathe

She hasn’t woken yet, but her forehead is pressed to my shoulder, her red hair spilling into the space between us, shining in the pale sunlight. Her knees are drawn up to press against my outer thigh. I am torn between wanting to wake her so I have the pleasure of seeing her eyes, and wanting to let her sleep so I can continue to watch the sunlight drift along the bare curve of her shoulder. I am torn between wanting to stay by her side until the end of time, and wanting to find every single person who would dare wish her harm so I can put a blade through them myself. I have felt protective of her for ages, of all my friends, but this … this is different suddenly. Not an obligation. An imperative. A fierce urgency.

love. :')