A Vow So Bold and Deadly (Cursebreakers, #3)

by Brigid Kemmerer

“I was worried,” she says softly, “that I would wake and you’d be gone.” “Still here.” I trace a finger over her mouth, and she touches a kiss to my fingertips. “Though I am to meet with your generals about the reports from Emberfall—” “They can wait a bit longer.” She shifts closer until her legs tangle with mine, and I forget everything but the feel of her skin and the taste of her mouth. Minutes or hours or decades later, sunlight floods the room. I’m buckling my bracers into place while Lia Mara is blushing at me from under her blankets. “If you don’t stop looking at me like that,” I say, “I will be forced to spend the day here.” “Do you mean that to be a warning? Because it sounds like a promise.” That makes me smile, and I lean down to kiss her. “Don’t tempt me, you lovely girl.” She attempts to hook her fingers in the neckline of my shirt, but I grin and bat her hand away. “Later.”

i can get down with this new grey and lia mara energy. damn!!

“Nolla Verin says I need to learn to fight for myself if I expect others to fight on my behalf. Mother would have agreed.” “Nolla Verin is wrong.” “She is?” “You are queen, Lia Mara, and you took that throne by force. You already know how to fight for yourself. I’ve seen your strength and bravery countless times.” I lean down to kiss her. “Now it’s time to show your people.”

“Don’t start,” I say. “You do realize you’re blushing.” I’m not. At least I hope I’m not. He grins. Silver hell. “You must be exhausted,” he continues, “after … ah, standing guard.” I give him a look and wonder how much of this I’m going to have to endure. “What?” he says innocently. I mimic his always-irreverent tone. “Don’t be a dick, Jake.” He lowers his voice and mimics my severe one. “As you say, Your Highness.”

im cackling omg this is everything

“Apparently there’s worry that you would cause her harm.” I stop short in the hallway and round on him. “That I would cause—” “Shh.” He doesn’t stop. “Keep walking.” I keep walking. “She has had two attempts on her life while I was nowhere near.”

fiercly protective grey is hot bae

“When Harper first dragged me and Noah into Ironrose, I was hoping you’d get trampled by a horse, but I still fell in with that ‘good of Emberfall’ crap. I still risked my life. A lot of that was for Harper—but then a lot of it was for …” He pauses, then rolls his eyes, looking abashed. “Well, you, you idiot.” He glances meaningfully at the hallway. “They’re still here. They must believe in something you’re doing.”

“I’d like to join you. If I may.” As if they were not her generals and officers. As if I would not grant her everything she asked. I nod. “Always.”

The thought makes something inside me clench tight, and I shiver. I don’t want to think of Grey as being like Lilith. I don’t want to think of him using magic against me. I don’t want to think of him having magic at all.

I remember the sound of his breathing, fractured and panicked as he tried to free himself with hands that wouldn’t work. He was swearing at her, cursing fate, cursing magic. But never cursing me.

i often forget just how severe the traumas they endured together were, and for that i am eternally sorry

She worries about her balance, about her left side weakness, but her footwork is almost flawless. It must be the result of careful practice and repetition, because it’s not something that would come naturally to her. It’s impressive, but it also tugs at chords of sadness in my chest. I taught her how to hold a bow, how to dance, how to station an army. But when it came to swordplay, she first learned from Grey.

This memory brings another. This one is less welcome. Do you regret your oath? I do not. This is our final season, Commander. You must know you can speak freely. I do speak freely, my lord. My chest tightens, and I have to breathe through it. I don’t want to think of Grey, but as usual, my thoughts give no heed to what I want.

the physical pain it brings me to read about rhen and grey missing one another - intentionally or not - is unspeakable.

“Ugh!” she yells, her voice muffled from the other side of the solid wood. “Go off, you fools.” I raise my eyebrows and turn to look at Dustan. He meets my gaze steadily. “Some of the guardsmen may harbor a bit of resentment that she has remained in her quarters.” “Do you?” “No, my lord.” I wonder if that’s true. He must harbor a bit if he’s allowing it to continue unchecked. He clears his throat. “She does not endear herself. Her violin can be heard through the hallways hours before sunrise.” I almost smile. It’s no wonder Zo and Harper are friends.

such fierce and independent women! we love to see it :')

“You know,” she calls behind me, “for Harper, I would have done it for free.” She pauses. “I was curious how much it was worth to you.” “I would have given you ten times as much.” I think of the moment Harper plunged a dagger into Lilith’s chest. I have to put a hand against my midsection to shake off the sudden emotion. “For Harper, I would have given you everything.”

The slow, gentle murmur of his voice takes me by surprise. Clearly Freya knows him as more than that. I hesitate in my doorway, and a small smile finds my face. She mentioned Jamison on the night of Rhen’s party, but their low voices make me wonder if there’s more between them than just casual friendship.

oh my gosh!! my heart is so incredibly full at this. i was just beginning to miss our ogs, so this is such a welcome treat!

“I can do this myself,” I say quietly. “If you need to be with Jamison right now.” Her fingers jerk the laces hard, pulling the fabric so tight against my rib cage that I can’t even draw breath to cry out. “No, my dear,” says a vicious voice that is definitely not Freya’s. “I think I need to be with you.” “Lilith.”

HOLY FUCKING SHIT BITCH

The scene continues. A light knock raps at the door, and a young servant enters carrying a tray of tea and delicacies. Rhen completely ignores him, and the boy looks like he’s used to being ignored by royalty. He eases the platter onto the table, but when he tips the pot to fill a cup, it’s slightly off center, and the cup falls, shattering on the marble floor. Tea splashes everywhere, including Rhen’s boots. The boy flinches and glances at Rhen. “For-forgive me, Your High—” “Guards.” Rhen doesn’t look at him. A guard appears in the doorway, and I’m startled to realize it’s Grey. Again, like Rhen, he looks slightly different. Not younger, just … not the same. Maybe it’s the expression in their eyes or the weight of their presence—or maybe it’s something they haven’t lost or earned yet. Before Grey has a chance to say anything, Rhen says, “Get him out of here. Make him regret that.” He gives a nod to Lilith and says, “Farewell, my lady.” Then he turns for the door. Grey’s eyes are cold. He grabs the cringing boy’s arm. Scary Grey.

oh my sad sad heart. how time has changed them both so greatly.

“My lady. My lady.” The male voice forces me still, and I realize why my fingers were clutching at leather and buckles instead of skin and silk. Dustan is kneeling beside me, and my fingers have a death grip on his armor. She didn’t break my spine. She didn’t break anything at all. My back feels wet, though I can’t tell if it’s sweat or blood, and my abdomen is achy and sore. I’m trembling so hard that my teeth clack together. My breathing is loud and panicked in the space between us. Dustan and I aren’t friends, but we’re not enemies either. I can’t make my fingers let go. Instead, I put my face against his armor and cry.

okay this makes me emotional. makes me wish grey could be there to support her once more, but i am greatful for dustan to begin taking those steps towards protecting harp.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You and Jamison … I didn’t know.” “I hardly know myself,” she says. “We’ve only just been talking.” She brushes the tears off her cheeks and squares her shoulders. “Forgive me. We should—” I step forward and wrap her up in a hug. My insides ache and pull and I have to force Lilith’s effects out of my head, and I hold on to my friend. Freya’s not like Rhen. She lets me hold her, and her face presses into my shoulder—but only for a moment. She begins to pull away. “I am being inappropriate—” “I’ve cried all over you a dozen times,” I say. “I can return the favor.”

living for these full circle moments! makes me so senti to remember that this is the finale :'(

“You once told me that when the world seems darkest, there exists the greatest opportunity for light.” She nods at me in the mirror, but then her eyes fill again. “Sometimes I worry that the light can be doused too easily.” “Then we just light it again,” I say, even though I’m not sure this is true. But I can’t look at her tearstained face and say anything else. Again, I’m reminded of my mother, how she stood by my father for so long, even though he kept making the wrong decisions. I think of Rhen, and I wonder if I’m doing the same thing. My voice almost wavers and I have to steady it. “We light it again and again, as many times as we have to.” Her eyes meet mine, and she takes a steadying breath. “Yes, my lady.” A hand raps on the door frame, and I turn, expecting Rhen, but instead, I find Zo there, fully dressed in the leather armor worn by the Royal Guard. I have to do a double take. She looks severe and stoic, and I straighten. “Zo?” Something in her severe countenance shifts, and she cracks a small smile. “His Highness hired me.” I almost fall off my stool. “You’re back in the Royal Guard?” “Ah … no. I’m to be your guard. And only yours.” I want to tackle her with hugs, but now that she’s in a uniform, it probably wouldn’t be seemly. I squeeze Freya’s hand again. “See?” I say to her. “Another light.”

im in my FEELS omg i love these characters so deeply

I had never once shaved my own face, and when I tried, I nearly cut my throat. I remember finding Grey outside my chambers, standing at attention in the deserted, silent hallway. “Commander,” I said sharply. “You will show me how to shave.” He stared at me for the longest moment, and I felt like such a spoiled fool, especially when confronted with the clean-shaven face that he’d clearly accomplished himself, while I was standing there pressing a silk handkerchief to my neck to stop the bleeding. I waited for his expression to shift into scorn or disdain. For him to inwardly sigh. We were the only two people left in the castle, and there wouldn’t have been much I could have done about it. He could have turned the moment into something humiliating. He didn’t. “Yes, my lord,” he said equably. “Do you have a kit?” I expect the memory to sting, but for some reason, this one doesn’t.

*sobs* this is such a sweet brotherly moment between them. makes me miss when they were together. :')

“Oh, he’s with the crowd that went to meet the prince.”

omg how i would kill for grey to be in silvermoon rn!!

“Rhen,” whispers Harper. Her fingers dig into my arm, and she tries to take a step, then stumbles. “Wait. I don’t—I don’t think I can walk. Just—just give me a minute—” We do not have a minute. I sheathe my sword. “Hold on to me,” I say, and I draw her arm across my shoulder, then scoop her up into my arms. She’s so fiercely determined that I expect her to protest, but maybe she’s as shaken as I am, because her fractured breath trembles against my neck.

they're so much stronger and better together :')

“Thank you,” Harper says then, and any ire in her voice is gone. “For pulling me out of the crowd.” She shivers. “You looked like you were going to level the courtyard.” I cluck to the horse, and he leaps forward into a gallop, eager. Harper clings tightly to my back. “For you, my lady, I would have leveled the entire city.”

“You will need assistance in dressing.” “I just need to unlace the corset. Could you—” I realize how this is coming out, and I flush. “I mean—I don’t mean—never mind.” He feigns a gasp. “ ‘I never refuse assistance,’ ” he teases, his voice light and mocking. “Fine.” I lift my chin. “Unlace it.” The corner of his mouth turns up, his expression becoming slightly wolfish, which is rare for him. “Right here in the hallway, my lady?”

ya'll crack my ass UP

His eyes narrow slightly, but his gaze burns into mine. “As you say.”

okay mini rant time: i am truly so excited for this moment BUT i feel consistently pulled out of the moment to read SO MANY parallels (descriptors and scene progression) between grey and lia mara's romantic moments. honestly thats the only thing weirding/bumming me out about this currenty. also i will fr be pissed if we're getting these makeout (implied sex) scenes now so we're not getting any more throughout the rest of the book - us gals have our needs!

“I wanted to protect you,” I whisper. “As I want the same for you.” He lifts a hand to trace the line of my face. “Perhaps we are both determined to go about that in the wrong way.”

He makes a humorless sound. “I wonder if Grey knew that, too. He often realized things about me before I myself ever did.” That longing note is back in his voice, and I shift closer to him. “You … regret what you did.” He nods, then drains the glass. “Very much. For so very many reasons.” He misses him too, I realize.

my rhen x grey heart is so sad currently

“I will try for peace.” His eyes flash, a hint of that familiar spark in their depths. He traces a slow finger over my lips. “I am not yielding to Grey. I am yielding to you, Harper. For you.”

“Yield to yourself. Yield to forgiveness. Yield to happiness. Yield to this moment. It’s not hers. It’s yours. It’s mine. It’s ours.”

He grins, and possibly for the first time in my life, I see Rhen blush, just a bit. He leans down to kiss me. “Let’s see how much I remember.”

ya'll already KNOW. i'm PISSED. and i so badly don't want to feel this way!! feel like we just got the copy and pasted love scene from grey and lia mara which just totally ruined this for me tbh

I forget, so often, that the most powerful moments in my life rarely end up being about my kingdom, or about a war, or about even my subjects. I forget that the world can narrow down to two people, to a moment of vulnerability and trust. To a moment of love that seems to outshine all the rest.

I want to bury a sword in the chest of anyone who’d dare to hurt her.

ALL im going to say if when our beloved brothers reunite and share notes on their romantic relationships - they're going to find manyyyyy similarities

trust is not something you win once, but is instead something you must earn over and over again.

Dustan stares at her in horror. He needs to run. He needs to run. He needs to run. “Run,” I gasp. “Dustan—” Lilith tears out his throat with her bare hands. His body drops, lifeless.

not dustan!! omg no

Lilith leans down and kisses me. There’s blood on her lips. “I like you better like this,” she whispers. She got away. I lock my thoughts on that. Only that. Lilith can do what she wants to me. Harper got away. She’s safe. Zo will keep her safe. “Finish it,” I breathe. “Oh, no, Your Highness.” She kisses me again, and my body involuntarily shudders. “You know I need you.” She traces a tongue across my lips. “Now wait here while I go rip out her heart, the way you ripped out mine.”

oh my lord. i never saw this coming.

Freya and the children would have been in the room right beside us. Sweet, gentle Freya. The thought of her dying at Lilith’s hands almost makes my knees buckle. Zo half drags me past all of it.

this cannot be true. please tell me this is not happening

We need to get help. I don’t know who can help with this. She slaughtered all the guards. My breath hitches again.

grey!! you need to get to grey!

An earsplitting screech splits the night, the loudest, most terrifying sound I’ve ever heard. Ironwill’s ears flatten and his back bunches underneath us, and he bolts like a … well, like a spooked horse. “What is it?” Zo breathes into my ear. “What is she doing? Can she … can she shape-shift?” “I don’t know. I don’t know.” She made Rhen change shape, but I’ve never seen her do it. That doesn’t mean she can’t.

omg please tell me she didn't turn rhen back into the monster holy shit

Without warning, my throat chokes on a sob. At my back, so does Zo’s. Her arms grip tight. I don’t have words. I don’t know what to say. My thoughts are in a blind panic. I keep searching for hope, but there’s none. Everything is bad. That screech rings out again. Something shoves into us, and Zo cries out. “Zo!” I scream. “Keep going,” she says, redoubling her grip on my waist, but she’s pulling at me, as if something has a grip on her. “Keep going!” I dig my heels in to the horse’s sides, but it’s almost like Zo is on the ground, pulling me back. In a moment I’m going to be yanked off this horse. Then she lets go. She’s gone, her scream echoing in my ears, matched only by the screeching behind us.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME NOT ZO

But then I realize what it is, and my own heart stops. “Her heart, Your Highness,” Lilith whispers. “As promised.”

fuck you lilith. you disgust me to no bounds.

Evalyn’s eyes widen. “My lady. Are you returning to Disi?” “No.” My tears dry up as hope flares in my chest for the first time. “I’m going to find Grey.”

YESSSSS BITCH!!!!! this is so full-circle to have grey come home and defeat lilith and im loving the direction we're going

“One would think your mood would improve from all the time you spend with the young queen, but—” “Knives, Iisak.” “Perhaps you should spend more time sleeping, instead of—”

omfg this!!! im so dead!

At breakfast, Lia Mara was rapt as Noah explained the reasons for the changes in the weather, how the precipitation would fall as snow thousands of feet up in the sky, and then melt and refreeze to form sleet. One of her advisors leaned toward another and whispered, “How can he know such things? I do not trust these outsiders and their magic.”

omg we stan noah forever!! love him!

Crooked Six. It’s an easy game in theory, with equal elements of luck and skill, where you keep rolling dice until you have a full set of ones, then twos, and so on. I’m fast, but as usual, fate doesn’t care, and he’s rolling his final six when I’m still on my fours.

tenzi!!

“A man who meant to lead this army to its death would not have come here to apologize to me. A man like that would not have cared.” I go still. He scoops the rest of the dice into his palm. “You have been running drills with Jake,” he says, and he’s right. I’ve tried running drills with the soldiers, but ever since I ran Solt into the ground, they are reluctant to fully engage. I can never tell if it’s because they don’t like me or if it’s because they don’t care, but either way, it’s never been effective. Until tonight, I didn’t realize why. “Tomorrow,” says Solt, “you should run them with me.” I pick up the rest of my dice for our final game and let them spill out onto the table. Not a single “one” at all. Solt has three, and he chuckles. “I’m better with a sword than I am with dice,” I say ruefully. He grins. “I am counting on it.”

this fills my heart up

She takes another step closer to me. “You are not fair and just. You are weak and easily led. Your people do not want you, just like Rhen’s people do not want him.” “You think that the only way to achieve anything is with a blade in your hand,” I say. “And it is not.” “It is,” she insists. “You would not be queen if you’d not learned that very lesson yourself.”

okay screw nolla verin - im back to despising her again

Grey turns, and some of that vicious focus shifts to warmth when he meets my eyes. It’s such an intent look, such a private look, that I feel a blush crawling up my neck already. When he says “Your Majesty,” it makes me shiver. I watch as his eyes take me in, then my surely fuming sister at my shoulder, then the guards that trail us. He looks to a squire standing nearby, then steps over and claims the cloak he must have abandoned before the fight. I expect him to draw it around his own shoulders, but I forgot the customs he brings from Emberfall, so I’m startled when he draws it around me. My blush fades. I see exchanged glances among the soldiers, and I wonder if this, too, will be seen as a weakness.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh i love them so much i cant even

Another soldier approaches with keys, and Jake all but snatches them from his hand. The shackles fall away from my wrists, and he barely has time to unchain my ankles before I use all my strength to launch myself forward. The movement makes my leg ache and protest the movement, but I don’t care. My arms close around his neck, and I don’t ever want to let go. “Jake,” I whimper. He catches me. Holds me. “It’ll be all right,” he says softly, and I’m reminded of all the times we’d hide in his room, when Dad’s crimes caught up with us. Jake would whisper empty reassurances to me then, too. “It’ll be all right, Harper.”

harper and jake reunited!!!!! ive never been so happy

“Scary Grey,” I whisper, and my voice breaks. Proving worthy of his nickname, he wastes no time on emotion. He drops to a knee beside me and draws a dagger. I suck in a breath and grab Jake’s arm. Grey’s eyes meet mine, and those haven’t changed. He’s coolly intent, focused. “Do you no longer trust me?” Maybe I shouldn’t. We’re on opposite sides of a war. But I stare back at him, and even through the fever and the exhaustion, I think of everything we endured together, from the moments when he first kidnapped me till the time he offered Lilith his sword on outstretched hands in a bid to save my life. I remember when he fell through the door of my apartment, broken and bleeding, desperate for my help. I remember the passion in his voice when he stood in the shadowed hallway, when he was the Commander of Rhen’s Royal Guard, and I’d first agreed to be the Princess of Disi. When Grey challenged my trust. When he made me understand what I’d agreed to. My duty is to bleed so he does not, Grey said then. And now my duty is to bleed so you do not. Now I’m the one bleeding, and he’s waiting with a dagger in his hand. I swallow. “I trust you.”

this. :')

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO RHEN

holy shit im petrified for this tbh rhen is ALWAYS recieving the brunt of everything in this series

Grey is gone. Harper is dead. What else can she take? Despair is all that’s left.

OMG. rhen thinks harper is dead omg i forgot about that oh no