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January 1 - September 26, 2018
Whether we look to economics, psychology, or neuroscience for an explanation, many of our problems with temptation and procrastination come back to one uniquely human problem: how we think about the future.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: HOW ARE YOU DISCOUNTING FUTURE REWARDS?
Behavioral economists call this the problem of bounded rationality—we’re rational until we aren’t. We will be perfectly rational when everything is in theory, but when the temptation is real, the brain shifts into reward-seeking mode to make sure we don’t miss out.
We only prefer the short-term, immediate reward when it is right there staring us in the face, and the want becomes overwhelming. This leads to bounded willpower—we have self-control until we need it.
To delay gratification, the prefrontal cortex has to cool off the promise of reward. It’s not an impossible feat—after all, that’s what the prefrontal cortex is there for. But it has to fight a feeling that’s been known to make rats run across electrified grids and men blow their life savings on a slot machine. In other words, it’s not easy.
This is good news for those who want to delay gratification. Anything you can do to create that distance will make it easier to say no. For example, one study found that just putting a candy jar inside a desk drawer instead of on top of the desk reduced office workers’ candy consumption by one third. It isn’t any more difficult to open a drawer than to reach across a desk, but putting the candy away reduced the constant stimulation of desire. When you know your own triggers, putting them out of sight can keep them from tempting your mind.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: WAIT TEN MINUTES
The first study to look at the long-term consequences of a person’s discount rate was a classic psychology experiment best known as “The Marshmallow Test.”
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: LOWER YOUR DISCOUNT RATE
While we may feel brave and tireless when we embark on an adventure, our future selves may be derailed by fear and exhaustion.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: PRECOMMIT YOUR FUTURE SELF
We think about our future selves like different people. We often idealize them, expecting our future selves to do what our present selves cannot manage. Sometimes we mistreat them, burdening them with the consequences of our present selves’ decisions. Sometimes we simply misunderstand them, failing to realize that they will have the same thoughts and feelings as our present selves.
Thinking so highly of our future selves would be fine if we could really count on our future selves to behave so nobly. But more typically, when we get to the future, our ideal future self is nowhere to be found, and our same old self is left making the decisions.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: ARE YOU WAITING FOR FUTURE YOU?
“future-self continuity”—the degree to which you see your future self as essentially the same person as your current self.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: MEET YOUR FUTURE SELF
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: ARE YOU TOO FARSIGHTED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD?
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Both bad habits and positive change can spread from person to person like germs, and nobody is completely immune.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: YOUR SOCIAL NETWORK
Humans are hardwired to connect with others, and our brains have adapted a nifty way to make sure we do. We have specialized brain cells—called mirror neurons—whose sole purpose is to keep track of what other people are thinking, feeling, and doing. These mirror neurons are sprinkled throughout the brain to help us understand the full range of other people’s experiences.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: WHO ARE YOU MIRRORING?
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: STRENGTHEN YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM
When we observe evidence of other people ignoring rules and following their impulses, we are more likely to give in to any of our own impulses.
Importantly, we don’t even need to see people in action. Like germs that linger on a doorknob long after a sick person passed through, an action can be passed on to us when we merely see evidence that others have done.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: CATCH SELF-CONTROL
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: WHO ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO CATCH SOMETHING FROM?
For example, Christians may be asked to reflect on passages from the Bible such as “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat” (Proverbs 23:20 NIV) and “Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God” (2 Corinthians 7:1 NIV). They are asked to reflect on the behaviors in their own lives—such as eating junk food or not exercising—that are inconsistent with their professed faith and values.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: BUT MA, EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT!
As a preventive measure, shame may work. But once the deed is done, shame is more likely to inspire self-sabotage than self-control. For example, gamblers who feel the most ashamed following a major loss are the most likely to “chase” the lost money by gambling more and borrowing money to try to recoup their losses.
Anticipatory shame might be able to keep you from walking into the Cheesecake Factory, but when the temptation is in front of you, it has no power over the promise of reward. Once your dopamine neurons are firing, feeling bad intensifies your desire and makes you more likely to give in.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: THE POWER OF PRIDE
The imagined eyes of others can be motivating, but if we fail, their imagined scorn can discourage us from showing our face in public again.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: MAKE IT A GROUP PROJECT
Our own actions influence the actions of countless other people, and each choice we make for ourselves can serve as inspiration or temptation for others.
Under the Microscope
Each time, the mere act of trying not to think about something triggered a paradoxical effect: People thought about it more than when they weren’t trying to control their thoughts, and even more than when they were intentionally trying to think about it.
Wegner dubbed this effect ironic rebound. You push a thought away, and—BAM!—it boomerangs back. 30
Trying not to think about something guarantees that it is never far from your mind. This leads to a second problem: When you try to push a thought away, and it keeps coming back to your mind, you are more likely to assume that it must be true. Why else would the thought keep resurfacing?
Whatever fear or desire you try to push away will become more convincing and compelling.
A fleeting thought had gotten lodged in her brain, and she had become convinced that she must really, deep down, want to kill herself. Otherwise, why would the idea keep intruding into her thoughts?
For you, it might be the thought that a loved one has been in a car accident. Or the thought that a pint of Karamel Sutra ice cream is the only thing that will soothe your stress. If you panic and push the thought out of your mind, it is going to come back. And when it does, it will return with more authority. Because you are trying not to think about it, its reappearance seems even more meaningful. As a result, you’re more likely to believe it is true.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: INVESTIGATING IRONIC REBOUND
He teaches social anxiety sufferers to observe and accept their thoughts and feelings—even the scary ones.
When a worry comes up, he instructs the anxiety sufferers to notice what they are thinking, feel the anxiety in their body, and then turn their attention to their breathing. If the anxiety persists, he encourages them to imagine their thoughts and emotions dissolving with the breath. He teaches them that if they don’t fight the anxiety, it will naturally run its course.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL, BUT DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK
Trying to avoid unwanted feelings often leads to self-destructive behavior, whether it’s a procrastinator trying to avoid anxiety, or a drinker trying to avoid feeling alone. For your willpower challenge, see if there is a feeling you are trying not to feel. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to feel it, using the breath and cloud imagery?
who suppress thoughts about food have the least control around food. They experience more intense food cravings and are more likely to binge-eat than those who do not try to control their thoughts.
Our eventual failure to control our thoughts and behavior is interpreted as evidence that we didn’t try hard enough to suppress—not that suppression doesn’t work. This leads us to try harder, setting ourselves up for an even stronger rebound.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: WHAT’S ON YOUR MOST-WANTED LIST?
