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“Not just the literal dark. When I say ‘the dark,’ I’m talking about the countless hours of gut-wrenching, exhausting, tedious work you do while nobody’s watching.
In fact, it’s when the rest of the world is at rest that we make our greatest progress.
They don’t realize that talent is only the starting line. They don’t realize talent is overrated. They don’t realize talent is never enough. They don’t realize talent is more of a curse than a blessing unless you develop the mindset, grit, and work ethic of a grinder.
Behind every ‘overnight success’ are tens of thousands of unseen hours training, failing, and growing in the dark.”
“And it’s often not the physical aspects of training that force most people to give up on their dreams. The true demons and thieves are the mental ones faced in the dark.”
“The dark is where you confront the little voice in your head trying to convince you that you are a fraud, that you’ll never make it, and that you are going to be ‘exposed.’
The dark is where you feel like you are alone in your struggles, believing your destructive thoughts and questioning your decisions.
The dark is where you face the critics, the doubters, and the haters throwing shots at...
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The dark is where you realize that confidence is fleeting and shifts with the wind—but that conviction, authentic co...
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The dark is where you give your everything but still can’t shake the question: What if m...
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“But there are treasures, both tangible and intangible, for those with the courage to navigate the dark. Those willing to embrace uncertainty and discomfort over and over again. Those who yearn to embark on the road less traveled and explore the edges of human potential.
The dark is where you forge the conviction that you can do hard things.
The dark is where you accept that you are worthy, regardless of your performance, your accomplishments, or the opinions of others.
The dark is where you transform into a version of yourself you nev...
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We all have different stories, but we are on a similar journey to become the best version of ourselves. We often fool ourselves that our toughest barrier on this journey is an enemy from the outside. But I’ve learned over and over that our toughest barrier isn’t out there. It’s in here. It’s us.” She paused as she pointed at her head and her heart. “The stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs of our heart.
Just like naming the voice of fear keeps us from being held hostage by it, labeling your voice of courage will help you to tap into it when you need it most.
“Being a perfectionist is just another way of saying you’re afraid. Afraid of being exposed. Afraid of not being good enough. Afraid of letting people down. Afraid of letting others see you fail. Afraid of letting yourself be fully seen.
Productive failure is not only OK here, it is an expectation! If you never fail, you are wasting our time. Failure is the only way to know you are on the edge of your capabilities.”
Start now, and only stop when you are finished.
Stop running from the obstacle. Run toward the opportunity. Stop running from relentless training. Run toward the chance to grow. Stop running from the fear of judgment. Run toward the value of being different.”
you weren’t born to hide in the dark. You were born to shine. And how much you shine is dependent on the degree to which you are willing to be shaped, polished, and refined in the dark.”
“I can tell you from experience that nothing makes that voice of fear disappear. Not even winning. In fact, success often causes this voice to grow louder, with greater expectations.”
“Very few people dare to share that they are ‘afraid.’ Instead, the fear comes out in different ways: selfishness, isolation, anger, anxiety, bitterness, addiction, projection, complaining, defensiveness.
But if you don’t own your fears and share them, they will own you.
In our program, we purposely put our fears on top of the table. It forces us to be vulnerable and have the tough conversations that bring our fears into the open. When left in the dark, our fears multiply. But when brought to the light, fear is stripped of its power.
Outrageous love is when your teammate drops the game-winning touchdown, but you meet him with a hug anyways.
Outrageous love is learning your teammates’ unique stories—their families, interests, struggles, fears, and dreams.
Outrageous love is working relentlessly hard to make your team better, even when y...
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Outrageous love for yourself is experiencing the stinging pain of failure, but never allowing yourself to believe failing makes you a failure.
“What is confidence? Think about it. What does that word actually mean?” Niko didn’t have an immediate answer, despite the word being thrown around like confetti. He sputtered out his best effort: “It’s, uh…it’s a feeling, you know, like you’re able to DO something.” “Exactly,” Marco said. “It’s a feeling. And if you can only perform when you feel confident, you’re in trouble. We can’t control our feelings. Even I struggle to feel confident sometimes.”
Marco sat down next to Niko. “There is, however, something more powerful than confidence. And that is conviction.” He patted his chest, right above his heart. “You don’t need to rely on the fleeting feelings of confidence when you have authentic conviction. It’s a deeply held belief that remains steady, flowing like a river through your body.”
“Heat it in the fire. Pound it into shape. Again and again and again. The best swords in the world were the ones that endured the most fire and the most hammering. They were exceptionally sharp, while still being flexible enough to withstand thousands of blows. They were light, yet sturdy enough to endure long battles.
Authentic conviction only comes from having been forged in the fire.
This is the challenge of becoming great: you must become the architect of your environment and get used to saying no to many of the things that ordinary people say yes to.
To be on offense, you need to stop hoping for circumstances to be perfect and expect the unexpected. Draw on the conviction that you’ve trained mentally and physically to transform any challenge into your unique advantage.”
The most beneficial question isn’t, What are you passionate about? The better question is, What are you passionate enough about that you can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work?”
The best question to ask is, What hardship, struggle, and pain am I willing to tolerate for the chance to chase my dreams? Often, the answer to that question will clarify your path.”
“Shining stars are the people in your life you can turn to in your darkest moments—people who help illuminate your path forward when you lose your way. They are the ones who understand you best and help you vent the volcano.”
Everyone wants to be great—until it’s time to do what greatness requires.”
“True Mental Toughness Have a great attitude. Give your very, very best. Treat people really, really well. Operate with unconditional gratitude. Even when you think your circumstances suck.”
“Burn your goals. Commit to the little things. Focus on True Mental Toughness.”
Life isn’t fair. My challenge to you is this: Train quietly. Let your work ethic, character and track record under the bright lights speak for themselves.”
Most folks quit when they don’t see the immediate payoffs in the short game. Often, though, the payoff is coming. It’s just too far in the future for you to see.”
“Your fear of the unknown is understandable, Niko. But can you imagine if some of history’s greatest leaders quit because they didn’t see an immediate payoff?
Joan of Arc had the conviction that she could lead her ravaged country out of foreign invasion at only the age of sixteen. She did the unthinkable and helped France win the Hundred Years’ War. But how many times did she put on her armor wondering if it would pay off?
Do yourself a favor and turn your what-ifs into even-ifs. Instead of asking: What if this fails? What if I don’t make it? What if giving my EVERYTHING isn’t ENOUGH? Instead, learn to tell yourself: Even if this fails…I will be stronger because of it. Even if I don’t make it…I will have modeled for my kids to chase big dreams.
Even if giving my EVERYTHING isn’t ENOUGH… my value comes from who I am, not from what I do. Even if I lose the short game…I will be better prepared to win the long game.
Doing the work in the dark guarantees you nothing except the opportunity to develop your character and skill set in ways you otherwise cannot. There is no promise that your training will pay off in the ways you think it should—but I can as...
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‘Bury me in my white belt.’
‘In the new place that I’m going, I want to show up with the mindset of a beginner.’”11
