Is This Anything?

by Jerry Seinfeld

I’m a Northeast guy. I like whatever the weather. Because that is the weather for the day that it is. Here’s your choice: You’re dead. Or it’s today. Those are the options. You either don’t exist or, occasional drizzle. Take your pick.

“Can you believe this weather?” “Yes, I can.” “Do you think it’s going to stay like this?” “No—I don’t.” Indoors stays the same. Go there.

Always Friends There are certain friends in your life who are always your friends. You don’t call them, they call you. You don’t call back, they call again. You’re late, they wait. You don’t show up, they’re not upset. You try and stab them, they understand.

So, it’s a bit of a chess game… Except the board is flowing water, and all the chess pieces are made of… smoke. You can make all the moves you want, it will not affect the outcome of the game.

“Not to the best of my knowledge.” “What does that mean? You don’t know?” “I didn’t say that. I said, I have knowledge. And it’s all not about this.”

So then, what does a man want from a woman? A man wants the same thing from a woman that he wants from his underwear. Certain amount of support and a certain amount of freedom.