Together: Loneliness, Health and What Happens When We Find Connection

by Vivek H. Murthy

Even that term, social distancing, seemed to condemn us to loneliness.

we may emerge from this crisis feeling closer to friends and family members than ever before.

Devote at least 15 minutes each day to connecting with those you most care about.

Solitude helps us do that by allowing us to check in with our own feelings and thoughts, to explore our creativity, to connect with nature. Meditation, prayer, art, music, and time spent outdoors can all be sources of solitary comfort and joy.

checking on a neighbor, seeking advice, even just offering a smile to a stranger six feet away, all can make us stronger.

Medicine for my parents was all about relation ship, and they built those connections by listening.

Loneliness ran like a dark thread through many of the more obvious issues that people brought to my attention,

there was something about our disconnection from one another that was making people’s lives worse than they had to be.

While loneliness engenders despair and ever more isolation, togetherness raises optimism and creativity.

Many were embarrassed to admit how alone they felt.

To be at home is to be known. It is to be loved for who you are. It is to share a sense of common ground, common interests, pursuits, and values with others who truly care about you.

Building a more connected world holds the key to solving these and many more of the personal and societal problems confronting us today.

When we share a common purpose, when we feel a common urgency, when we hear a call for help that we are able to answer, most of us will step up and come together.

How can we overcome the stigma of loneliness and accept that all of us are vulnerable?

How can we create stronger, more enduring and compassionate connections in our own lives and communities,

How do we shift the balance of our lives from being driven by fear to...

when we strengthen our connection with one another, we are healthier, more resilient, more productive, more vibrantly creative, and more fulfilled.

Overcoming loneliness and building a more connected future is an urgent mission that we can and must tackle together.

loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence. -Thomas Wolfe,

Loneliness is the subjective feeling that you’re lacking the social connections you need.

What’s missing when you’re lonely is the feeling of closeness, trust, and the affection of genuine friends, loved ones, and community.

Intimate, or emotional, loneliness is the longing for a close confidante or intimate partner-someone

Relational, or social, loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship

Collective loneliness is the hunger for a network or community of people who share your sens...

People who are more extroverted tend to crave human contact and social activity, feeling energized by networking with strangers.

Both introverts and extroverts can experience loneliness,

What often matters is not the quantity or frequency of social contact but the quality of our connections and how we feel about them.

isolation describes the objective physical state of being alone

you’re more likely to feel lonely if you rarely interact with others.

Many of us spend long stretches by ourselves when we’re so involved in our work or creative pursuits that we don’t feel at all lonely.

we can feel lonely and emotionally alone even when we’re surrounded by other people. What defines loneliness is our internal comfort level.

Solitude, by contrast, is a state of peaceful aloneness or voluntary isolation.

solitude is not burdened with shame. Rather, it can be a sacred state.

Solitude, paradoxically, protects against loneliness.

We fear being labeled and judged as social outcasts.

By learning to recognize and address the signals early, we can intervene to forge connections when loneliness strikes,

human relationship is as essential to our well-being as food and water.

people with strong social relationships are 50 percent less likely to die prematurely than people with weak social relationships.

Clinicians recommend-or “prescribe”-resources and activities in the community that can help patients forge healthy social connections.

stop asking what’s the matter with the patient and start asking what matters to them.”

loneliness serves a vital function by warning us when something essential for our survival-social connection-is lacking.

Dr. John Cacioppo was the first to liken loneliness to hunger and thirst, identifying it as a necessary warning signal with biochemical and genetic roots.

humans have survived as a species not because we have physical advantages like size, strength, or speed, but because of our ability to connect in social groups.

“We’re the only animal on the planet,” Bill told me, “that goes out of its way to share the contents of our minds with others, even when there’s no immediate gain.”

tales help us understand who we are. They give meaning to our struggles, and comfort us when we are suffering or afraid.

The stronger our connections with each other, the richer our culture and the stronger society become.

“Evolution has placed a bet that the best thing for our brain to do in any spare moment is to get ready to see the world socially… . We are built to be social creatures.”

the social network of technology is-and likely always will be—an inferior substitute for face-to-face interpersonal communication.

our ancestors’ tribal world, this perceptual narrowing served the critical purpose of securing a sense of belonging and protecting a clan’s members

At the first sign of isolation, whether alone or among strangers, the stranded individual’s sympathetic nervous system would go on alert,