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what our hearts yearn for is to know who we are and why we are here.
“There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself, the tadpole into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into a whole one. That is spirituality.” ELLEN BASS
Our hearts yearn to soar, yet we almost always come crashing down painfully on the rocks of fear, self-defeating habits, and ignorance. All too often our good intentions and noble hopes simply become new sources of disappointment. We give up on ourselves, return to familiar distractions, and try to forget about the whole
“It seems to me that before we set out on a journey to find reality, to find God, before we can act, before we can have any relationship with another… it is essential that we begin to understand ourselves first.” KRISHNAMURTI
everyone is made of light—that we are like forms of light—but that a crust has formed over it. The crust is black and rubbery like tar and has obscured the inner light that is everyone’s real, inner self. Some blotches of tar are very thick; other areas are thinner and more transparent. Those who have worked on themselves for longer have less tar and they radiate more of their inner light. Because of their personal history, others are covered with more tar and need a great deal of work to get free of it.
write a biography of yourself—not an autobiography. Write about yourself in third person—that is, as “he” or “she” rather than “I.” Tell your life story, beginning from your earliest years (or earlier, from what you know of your family history) up to the present time as if you were describing someone else.
dedicate a page in your Inner Work Journal to each decade, leaving room to add relevant thoughts and observations as you recall more.
Do not worry about being literary or “correct.” The important thing is to see your life as a whole...
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THE ENNEAGRAM (pronounced “ANY-a-gram”) is a geometric figure that maps out the nine fundamental personality types of human nature and their complex interrelationships.
One of the great dangers of transformational work is that the ego attempts to sidestep deep psychological work by leaping into the transcendent too soon. This is because the ego always fancies itself much more “advanced” than it actually is.
Presence (awareness, mindfulness), the practice of self-observation (gained from self-knowledge), and understanding what one’s experiences mean (an accurate interpretation provided by a larger context such as a community or spiritual system) are the three basic elements needed for transformational work. Being supplies the first, you supply the second, and the Enneagram supplies the third. When these three come together, things can happen quickly.
self-discovery is a process, and that the process does not end with discovering your type—in fact, that is only the beginning.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” Herman Hesse
None of the personality types is better or worse than any other—all types have unique assets and liabilities, strengths and weaknesses. Some types can be more valued than others in a given culture or group, however.
No matter what type you are, you have all nine types in you, to some degree.
it is always more problematic to use the Enneagram to type others than it is to use it on ourselves.
Remember the Enneagram is to be used primarily for self-discovery and self-understanding.
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” LAO TZU
The aim of this Work is to stop the automatic reactions of the personality by bringing awareness to it. Only by bringing insight and clarity to the mechanisms of personality can we awaken—which
Enneagram. It is a symbol that shows the wholeness of a thing (the circle), how its identity is the result of the interaction of three forces (the triangle), and how it evolves or changes over time (the hexad).
ANGER This Passion might be more accurately described as Resentment. Anger in itself is not the problem, but in Ones the anger is repressed, leading to continual frustration and dissatisfaction with themselves and with the world.
PRIDE Pride refers to an inability or unwillingness to acknowledge one’s own suffering. Twos deny many of their own needs while attempting to “help” others. This Passion could also be described as Vainglory—pride in one’s own virtue.
DECEIT Deceit means deceiving ourselves into believing that we are only the ego self. When we believe this, we put our efforts into developing our egos instead of our true nature. We could also call this passion Vanity, our attempt to make the ego feel valuable without turning to our spiritual source.
ENVY Envy is based on the feeling that something fundamental is missing. Envy leads Fours to feel that others possess qualities that they lack. Fours long for what is absent but often fail to notice the many blessings in their lives.
AVARICE Fives feel that they lack inner resources and that too much interaction with others will lead to catastrophic depletion. This Passion leads Fives to withhold themselves from contact with the world. Thus they hold on to their resources and minimize their needs.
FEAR This Passion might be more accurately described as Anxiety because anxiety leads us to be afraid of things that are not actually happening now. Sixes walk around in a constant state of apprehension and worry about possible future events.
GLUTTONY Gluttony refers to the insatiable desire to “fill oneself up” with experiences. Sevens attempt to overcome feelings of inner emptiness by pursuing a variety of positive, stimulating ideas and activities, but they never feel that they have enough.
LUST Lust does not only refer to sexual lust; Eights are “lusty” in that they are driven by a constant need for intensity, control, and self-extension. Lust causes Eights to try to push everything in their lives—to assert themselves willfully.
SLOTH Sloth does not simply mean laziness, since Nines can be quite active and accomplished. Rather, it refers to a desire to be unaffected by life. It is an unwillingness to arise with the fullness of one’s vitality to fully engage with life.
the Enneagram conveys to us is that we are much more than our personality.
Beyond the limitations of our personalities, each of us exists as a vast, largely unrecognized quality of Being or Presence—what is called our Essence.
distinguish Essence, or spirit, from “soul.” The fundamental ground of our Being is Essence or Spirit, but it takes a dynamic form we call “the soul.” Our personality is a particular aspect of our soul.
the Enneagram does not put us in a box, it shows us the box we are already in—and the way out.
psychological integration and spiritual realization are not separate processes.
when we identify with the personality, we are settling on being much less than who we really are.
our personality is not “bad.” Our personality is an important part of our development and is necessary for the refinement of our Essential nature. The problem is that we become stuck in personality and do not know how to move on to the next phase.
When we begin to understand that we are not our personality, we also begin to realize that we are spiritual beings who have a personality
no matter what our later personality type, we eventually come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Even if we cannot express it in words, we feel the tug of a powerful, unconscious anxiety—our Basic Fear.
each Basic Fear is a reaction to the universal fear of death and annihilation—our personality’s fear of nothingness.)
Type One: “It’s not okay to make mistakes.” Type Two: “It’s not okay to have your own needs.” Type Three: “It’s not okay to have your own feelings and identity.” Type Four: “It’s not okay to be too functional or too happy.” Type Five: “It’s not okay to be comfortable in the world.” Type Six: “It’s not okay to trust yourself.” Type Seven: “It’s not okay to depend on anyone for anything.” Type Eight: “It’s not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.” Type Nine: “It’s not okay to assert yourself.”
THE BASIC FEARS OF THE TYPES 1 Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective 2 Fear of being unworthy of being loved 3 Fear of being worthless or without inherent value 4 Fear of being without identity or personal significance 5 Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent 6 Fear of being without support or guidance 7 Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain 8 Fear of being harmed or controlled by others 9 Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation
“We do not succeed in changing things according to our desire, but gradually our desire changes.” PROUST
BASIC DESIRES AND THEIR DISTORTIONS 1 The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfectionism) 2 The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed) 3 The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success) 4 The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence) 5 The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization) 6 The desire to be secure (deteriorates into an attachment to beliefs) 7 The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism) 8 The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting) 9 The desire
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it is important to cultivate compassion for ourselves: we have to love ourselves enough to know that we are worth the effort to get to know ourselves as we really are.
Type One: “You are good.” Type Two: “You are wanted.” Type Three: “You are loved for yourself.” Type Four: “You are seen for who you are.” Type Five: “Your needs are not a problem.” Type Six: “You are safe.” Type Seven: “You will be taken care of.” Type Eight: “You will not be betrayed.” Type Nine: “Your presence matters.”
We cannot will, or think, or “technique” our way into transformation. Yet without our participation it cannot happen.
Awareness is vitally important in the work of transformation because the habits of our personality let go most completely when we see them as they are occurring. Analyzing past behavior is helpful, but it is not as powerful as observing ourselves as we are in the present moment.
What it means is that we must learn to observe ourselves, seeing what arises in us from moment to moment, as well as seeing what calls us away from the here and now.
Unlike what our ego may believe, it is not our role to repair or transform ourselves.
“We do not have to improve ourselves; we just have to let go of what blocks our heart.” JACK KORNFIEID
