Bravey: Chasing Dreams, Befriending Pain, and Other Big Ideas

by Alexi Pappas

Courage—the ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of pain or grief. And if we wanted to get really deep, the root of the word courage comes from the Latin root word, cor, which then became the French word coeur, meaning “heart.”

run like a bravey sleep like a baby dream like a crazy replace can’t with maybe

Being a Bravey is different. It’s inward facing, a choice you make about your relationship with yourself.

Imagination, at the very least, brings us joy; at the very most, it empowers us to suspend disbelief and chase the impossible. Imagining things into existence is a superpower. The

if an oyster can turn sand into pearls i can turn myself into anything

I think about this now whenever I catch a little girl staring at me in a public bathroom or in line at the store or across an airport terminal waiting area. I wonder how much of an impact I might be making without my knowing it.

Asking for help is a superpower anyone can have but only some people use. It is brave to ask for help. Asking for help is the first step toward finding a mentor. Mentors can help us change our lives if we let them.

why this special thing is happening, then, as I have learned, the answer is because I am a lucky person and I try to be the kind of person lucky things happen to. You have to believe you are deserving of good surprises in life. You set yourself up for it. You walk with your eyes open enough to catch the eye of the person who will invite you in.

Even if they seem totally unrelated, becoming great in one discipline will always help in another.

I realize that the stories in this chapter revolve around food, sewing, and beauty—but it was never the actual act of baking a cake or cooking a meal or sewing a dress that affected me, it was the confidence these women brought to their actions, confidence that was so strong and deep that I couldn’t help but absorb some of it myself.

To be pushed by someone who truly believes in you is a huge gift. It is like they’re pushing you and pulling you at the same time. It is a love that comes from a place of wanting you to be there with them.

She taught me that it is better to be brave, not perfect.

What she means when she says she is going to save the crisp edges of the casserole for herself is that she values herself enough to give herself the best part of her creation. She is kind to herself first.

I’ve learned that the whole world and all its inhabitants are there for me to observe, absorb, and imitate.

The focus of high-school sports should be on human development, not high achievement.

That’s the thing about faulty systems; they will ruin individuals who then, in turn, pass the harm along to the next batch of people.

We can’t control the engine we’re given. But how we treat our engine is entirely up to us. It will take us to the moon if we let it.

It’s called the Rule of Thirds. When you’re chasing a big goal, you’re supposed to feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time. If the ratio is off and you feel good all the time, then you’re not pushing yourself enough. Likewise, if you feel bad all the time, then you might be fatigued and need to dial things back.

Nerves are cousin to excitement, and excitement is cousin to gratitude. Pay attention to your nerves: If you feel nervous, it’s a sign that a Very Big Thing is unfolding. Be nervous for how good that thing can be.

First your actions change, then your thoughts, then finally your feelings, in that specific order.

have a body but I’m not my body, I have thoughts but I am not my thoughts, I have feelings but I am not my feelings.”

Willpower is a measurable and depletable resource.

that just because I’m not working in this exact moment doesn’t mean that I’m not trying my best overall.

before bed decide tomorrow will be great

you think someone might have the potential to be the one you could love, that is the moment when you have to decide how to view that person: with skepticism or with optimism, with arms folded or with arms open.

So even if your final result is different from what you hoped for at the start, you’re still maintaining your integrity.

How you talk about your experiences will dictate how you feel about them. Reframing our goals and rewriting our stories are powerful tools.

I am allowed to press Pause in the moment between expectation and outcome and allow myself to decide what an experience means to me.

By forcing ourselves to take a moment to pat ourselves on the back every day, we were teaching our brains to highlight the positive as a routine.

Losses and setbacks are instructional, not damaging. Life is not about reducing our pain to nothing, it is about embracing pain and challenge as an invitation to rise and grow.

Shame is such a powerful emotion because it stems from the feeling that something is our own fault.

There is only a thick forest of thorny blackberry bushes ahead, waiting for you to clear a path for yourself. It isn’t easy. There will be blood, but there will also be berries.

The first step to committing is to write down your goal so that it is not just a thing floating inside of your head.

If you don’t have a goal, the world might give you one.

Next, tell your core team about your goal.

Sharing your goal in this way puts you in the brave but vulnerable position of admitting that you want something.

Then, give yourself a window of time in which you grant yourself permission to be fully dedicated to pursuing your goal.

A great coach once told me that when the pain sets in during a workout, it takes less mental energy to push harder than it does to think about slowing down or stopping.

Likewise, during your predetermined window of time, work as hard as you possibly can without worrying about what comes next.

Don’t make the window of time between check-ins too long or too short.

But people who are committed must suspend their disbelief.

Being committed isn’t about the end result; it’s about giving yourself the very best chance to get there.

just about anything is possible if you are scrappy, creative, and bold, and don’t give up

It’s better to be brave than bitter.

It doesn’t matter that yesterday you were a person who rolled out of bed and started working out immediately, now you’re someone new. You’re whoever you decide you want and need to be.

Last but not least, understand that a dream comes true very slowly and then all at once.

many things behind many things ahead why feel afraid when you can be brave instead?