Kindle Notes & Highlights
Do I possess the necessary skills to set myself up for success? Am I setting a clear path toward achieving those goals? Am I confident enough that I can shape my own future? Am I ready to overcome setbacks along the way? How will I hold myself accountable?
Am I clear about what I set out to accomplish? How satisfied am I with the direction of my life today? Is the opinion of others an important part of how I see the world? Is my purpose aligned with my everyday efforts? Am I making a difference in someone else’s life and/or my own? Do I feel tremendous satisfaction from it? How will I know if I successfully reach my goals?
We feel that we are destined for something of significance, but we find ourselves trapped in life circumstances. We have jobs that we need. We have bills to pay, mouths to feed. We are chained to many obligations, duties, responsibilities. We have lives others have dreamt for us, defined for us, maybe even passed on to us. That is not personal success. That’s inherited social norm and paralysis.
YOUR PASSION IS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION PROJECT IT FEROCIOUSLY.
Whatever yours is, own it, defend it, pursue it. Do not let others define your measure of success.
“Define what success looks like to you. Be specific! Do you want a great marriage, a wonderful family, and a great job?
CHOOSE CAREFULLY IF YOU WANT TO BE A DRIVER OR A PASSENGER IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
However, you cannot define personal success until you have reached a certain level of self-awareness about intrinsic motivations, faith in yourself, and a deep sense of purpose. Together, they make up your own treasure chest.
Taking responsibility for one’s future is a worthy measure of success.
Do you believe you can do anything? If not, why is that? How often are you held back by self-limiting beliefs or fears of asking tough questions about what truly matters in life? Ask yourself: is the source of your fear, that...
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DEFINE YOUR WORTH AND MEASURE YOURSELF BASED ON YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS.
success as a matter of constant personal growth.
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, he calls success in life a sort of quest for happiness, a contant movement towards worthy goals.
PICK YOUR NORTH STAR AND SET YOURSELF FREE
DAY ONE, SKILL ONE ACTION PLAN Now that you have completed the exercise section and have reflected on ways you can build this new skill, it’s time to act. Here are seven specific actions you must take to immediately apply what you’ve learned in this chapter: CHALLENGE ONE: CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL MEASUREMENT OF SUCCESS Declare what success is to you. Think beyond fame, fortune and other cultural clichés. Write your definition of success down; hang it on your wall; set goals that inspire you. Set yourself free. Stay true to yourself, no matter what. Resist outside pressures to box you in or to
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BE A PURPOSEFUL NON-CONFORMIST
THINKING OUT OF THE BOX IS GOOD, GETTING RID OF THE BOX IS BETTER.
Losing My Virginity: How I’ve Survived, Had Fun, and Made a Fortune Doing Business My Way, Screw It, Let’s Do It, Screw Business as Usual.
SHAPE YOUR OWN VALUES AND IDEAS. THIS IS A GPS TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH LIFE.
However, our desire and tendency to conform leads us to accept situations and environments that propel a life of contradiction, stress, and insecurity.
BE CREATIVE ENOUGH TO THINK DIFFERENTLY BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ACT DIFFERENTLY.
We spend too much time trying to conform to others’ perceptions of us. We are unmistakably unique. Values, principles, and one’s ability to set personal rules are inextricably intertwined. It takes character to identify these values and principles and put them into practice every day.
GET AMAZINGLY GOOD AT SAYING “NO”
This is at the root of conformity and over-commitment.
We want to be empathetic, accommodating, comforting, or reassuring. The desire to please and be agreeable comes naturally to us.
Being free, however, means that we should often break our own rules and reinvent ourselves all over again. It’s time to get remarkably good at saying “no” to distractions, downers, and wasters so you can say “yes” to your future.
EXERCISE #2 COMPLETE THIS EXERCISE TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER. WRITE DOWN ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: 1. What conventional thinking and principles do you wish you could break away from to pursue your dreams? 2. What rules in your life are you conforming to, even though you feel they are excessively restrictive and limiting? 3. Do you currently consider yourself a contrarian? List the negative implications of living a life of conformity. 4. How would you handle the pressure of objections and/or rejections from those closest to you, if you refused to play by
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LEARN TO FAIL. FAIL TO LEARN. AND REPEAT.
YOU MAY NOT REALIZE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO SUCCESS. DON’T GIVE UO TOO EARLY.
The self-criticism process is emotionally unpleasant and, over time, can slowly but surely chip away at our self-esteem.
You, too, must reject outcomes that do not align with your ambitions, and tell yourself that setbacks are simply part of the journey.
Those individuals who accept failure as a learning mechanism are more likely to be aggressive in their approach and, therefore, take risks.
“The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers,” Adam Grant insists that “originals” feel fear like everyone else. He says, “They’re afraid of failing, but what sets them apart from the rest of us is that they’re even more afraid of failing to try. They know you can fail by starting a business that goes bankrupt or by failing to start a business at all. They know that in the long run, our biggest regrets are not our actions but our inactions. The things we wish we could redo, if you look at the science, are the chances not taken.”
Because we see mistakes as a symptom of our limited intellectual or emotional abilities, we feel sorry for ourselves and we fail to focus on what to do about it the next time around.
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE INEVITABLE FAILURES OF LIFE.
LOOK INWARD TO AVOID THE BLAME GAME
Accountability and ownership of failure is the signature of a leader—
We cannot learn without taking full accountability for our mistakes and the role we played in contributing to them—
DO NOT FAIL BY DEFAULT BY LIVING TOO CAUTIOUSLY.
“fundamental attribution error.”
It’s so much easier to point fingers at someone else than it is to look deep inside at our own behavior, fears, and attitudes, and how these contribute to our life decisions.
The formula for strengthening through setbacks requires us to maintain a positive attitude as we accept our mistakes and learn from them. We must then apply what we learn, evaluate the risks involved, and take accountability for our decisions and the role we played in the outcome.
