Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

by Carolyn Elliott

You constantly perform who you believe yourself to be, as well as projecting the social identity and conditioning that you have imbibed.

you perpetually generate circumstances, relationships, and synchronicities that mirror and affirm and elaborate your identification.

Your life mirrors those deep beliefs.

You are not who you think you are.

Who you think you are is largely a societally constructed fiction held together by some compulsively repetitive thoughts and stories, and it bears little or no resemblance to the being that you actually are.

No one has ever experienced an “objective” world outside of their subjective awareness.

the spirit sees no limits,

pure simultaneous infinity and possibility.

conscious ego mind picks up on impressions from the spirit, it struggles to translate those into this limited material world, so those impressions of infinity end up sou...

most people deeply (unconsciously) believe themselves and the world to be wrong and “not good enough,” so they experience external synchronicities in their lives that rhyme with and affirm “wrong” and “not good enough.”

axiom

proposition that's assumed without proof for the sake of studying the consequences that follow.

the more you shame something the more unconscious it will become!)

“If a work of art is rich and vital and complete, those who have artistic instincts will see its beauty, and those to whom ethics appeal more strongly than aesthetics will see its moral lesson. It will fill the cowardly with terror, and the unclean will see in it their own shame.”

unconscious desires are met in our lives by circumstances and events,

celebration of fulfillment.

don't usually allow ourselves to consciously experience a turned-on sense of fulfillment and joy when these desires are met, because we habitua...

longer we deny the fact that ...

desire-curiosities are a ...

we enjoy their ful...

more they continue to shape...

deliberately allow ourselves to gratefully feel, celebrate, and receive the fulfillment of our previously denied and disowned des...

space and light in which to evolv...

negative synchronicities—bad luck.

Note: I do not recommend doing this particular meditation if you are depressed, as it can degenerate into rumination.

Get yourself into a relaxed state.

Create a container for yourself by lighting a candle and some incense, and setting a timer for 15 minutes.

Identify a situation in your life that your conscious mind, your ego, does not like.

Identify exactly what feelings and emotions you associate with this situation.

“Fear is just excitement without breath.”

fear is just excitement without embrace and approval for the sensations.

unconsciously provoke people

Gently allow yourself to get in touch with the part of yourself that actually, passionately enjoys the

feelings and emotions associated with your “don't like” situation.

it's present with you not because it's “true” or “real” but because some part of the vast, strange, kinky Self that you are finds it fascinating, compelling, beautiful.

Experiment with playfully saying the following EK statements to yourself:

You can also experiment with saying EK statements such as these:

some unconscious enjoyments require weeks of time and attention before they're willing to reveal themselves

Get on the side of your shadow

and deliberately, consciously, humbly allow yourself to receive, feel big gratitude for, and get off on the situation your unconscious so brilliantly created.

You can experiment with more EK statements like:

shift the context in our imagination from one of “awful thing happening to me against my will”

“kinky fun thing happening that I fully consent to.”

you always and without fail create what you most deeply

enjoy.

your whole divine Self is curious about and hungry for all incarnate experience, ...

Here's how it works:

my anxiety is something I choose to do to myself instead of some horrible automatic fate I can't control.

Note:

very important that you let kinky enjoyment, pure and simple, be far, far more important to you than the “change” that you consciously want to bring about.