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He places a kiss on my nose, his voice teasing. “I’ve always been a pervert for you, Butterfly. It’s not my fault you’re only just figuring it out.”
As I stare up at him, I realise two things. One, he’s ruined me for anyone else. Two, I’m screwed.
I’m not the type to get self-conscious. Ever. Except when this wanker is involved.
I see it then. The gleam in his eyes whenever he reads said books. Cole likes the challenge and being immersed in something so deep, he forgets his surroundings. It’s his own form of chaos.
Cole smiles. “What are you smiling at?” “Your jealousy can be adorable, Butterfly.”
“Hey, nerd. You’re supposed to live your life, not spend it stuck in books.” “I have both.” He retrieves a few copies from the new release shelf. “I have fun and read books.”
“You’re still a nerd, Cole.” “You still find it hot. I know you watch me when I read.” He winks. “I watch you when I read, too. Especially in the pool.”
I follow him like a lost puppy, unable to cut eye contact with his hand.
“Don’t test me, Silver. I’m barely able to keep my fucking hands off you in public.”
“Are you acting as if you don’t know? Why the hell would you tell Xander and Ronan about…about… You know!” “Us. It’s called us.” His voice turns edgy. “And they at least need to know you belong to me. It’s not like they’ll tell anyone.” “There is no us, Cole. Stop fooling yourself.”
“There is an us. In fact, that’s the only thing that exists. The sooner you stop fighting that, the better for you.”
“Is there anything you don’t think through?” “You.”
“You’re the only thing I’ve never been able to think through.” My breath shortens, but I whisper, “Because I’m your chaos?” “Because you’re the reason I look forward to new days.”
I want to grab her by the throat and kidnap her the fuck out of here. Out of this city. This country. This world.
Silver is my chaos. She’s the first person I saw after all that blood, and for that reason alone, she’s associated with it. She’s not supposed to be my calm. And yet, when her head falls on my back and her warmth mingles with mine, I realise she’s the only calm I’ve ever had in my life.
Silver is the beauty and the ugliness. The calm and the chaos.
Silver wrenched me from the water, not only now, but also ten years ago. My chaos. My damnation.
I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel it in the way he watches me, the way he seizes every chance to kidnap me somewhere out of view, yank my skirt up, and fuck me. It’s as if he can’t get enough of me. And the more he does that, I can’t seem to get enough of him either. It’s like I’m caught in a maze with no way out.
If he’s sick and I secretly love the devious ways he takes me, what does that make me?
Come back early tomorrow. I miss you, Butterfly.
“You’re so cute to think you can get rid of me.” He grips me harshly by the chin. “You should know already that the harder you push, the meaner I turn. The louder you say you hate me, the more ruthless I become about owning that hate. It doesn’t matter which game you play. You can even invent a new game, but I’ll learn it and still bring you to your knees in front of me. So tell me, Silver, do you honestly think you can ever win against me?”
“I can search for underground clinics and poof. Gone. No one will know the future prime minister’s daughter aborted.” I place a protective hand over my stomach, my lips trembling. But…but I don’t want that.
Booo she's pro-life
“I barged in?” He grabs both my hands, forcing me to stop, but he doesn’t yank them away from his chest. “I did it? How about you? Why the fuck did you have to be here that day? Why did you jump me, push me to the bench, and cry your glitter tears on me? Why did you refuse to let me go and promise me your firsts? If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself. You made me obsessed with you to the point I can’t fucking breathe until I see you.”
He chuckles, the sound like music in the quietness of the car.
I reach into my bag, retrieve my phone, and open my Kindle app. “Read me this novel.” “I don’t read from e-books.” He stares at my phone with distaste as if he wouldn’t touch it with a long stick. “Stop being a paperback snob. Besides, the Kindle app has all your books in one place. You don’t have to carry a few tons with you whenever you want to go somewhere.” “I don’t carry tons with me. I only take the ones I want to read.” “Come on, try it.” “I did and the answer is no.”
The way his face turns serene whenever he reads has always been one of my favourite sceneries.
Silver isn’t the type who gives in. Not even if you put a knife to her throat. She’s the type you have to challenge, then make her lose. Run while you can, Silver.
What’s wrong with me? I’m supposed to see her as my chaos, but now she’s the reason behind the calm?
That’s what I’ll do to Silver. I’ll burn her ships so she has no choice but to fall back into me. To be mine for seven fucking centuries — or whatever is close to that in human years.
I don’t do what-ifs. I’m the type who doesn’t look back on past events but chooses to face forward instead. However, there has always been an exception to my rules. Her. My Butterfly. My chaos.
“Miss me?” I smile, still gripping my book. “Miss you?” Her voice raises. “More like, I’m here to choke the life out of you.” “Huh. I thought I was the only one into choking.”
“I don’t care how much I want you, Cole. I can be a fool for you, I can let you crush my damn principles, but I won’t let you humiliate me. I’m Silver Queens. I don’t take other people’s sloppy seconds.”
“Why couldn’t you do it with others?” Her voice is low, emotional. “They weren’t you, Butterfly. No one is you.”
– do you think I have the energy to focus on anyone but you? You drive me fucking crazy.” “Not more than you do me.”
“You’re a bastard and I hate you most of the time.” “Most of the time? Does that mean there are times you don’t hate me?” “Maybe.” “Maybe is good enough.”
Silver’s not only chaos, she’s also a goddess. The type everyone can watch from afar, but I’m the only one who gets to worship at her altar. The one who gets to own every inch of her.
Silver Queens is officially fucked. There’s no way she’ll ever escape me now.
Cole was a virgin until me. It’s hard to believe that he never had sex until our parents’ wedding day. I’m Cole’s first and last.
He’s a gentleman in public. A monster in private. With me.
No one gets to toy with her under my watch. That game is mine and Silver’s alone. No outsiders are allowed.
True, violence never solves anything, but it’s liberating in a way.
Everything in my life has turned around and revolves around her. One way or another.
Fuck. I shouldn’t be feeling like a giddy teenager with a crush on the school’s queen B, but it’s there. The…joy.
She’s so beautiful, it’s fucking me up. And it’s not only her external beauty, it’s everything about her, from her insecurities to her affectionate and responsible side. It’s just her.
“You’re the only person I wanted to see.” I try not to let those words consume me, but I fail.
“You’re mine, Silver. Only fucking mine,” I whisper against her ear.
“I’m also the one who put a baby in you.” “That’s not something to be proud of.” “Maybe it is.” He smirks. “Can’t you see what it’ll do to us? It can destroy everything.” “Well, here’s the thing, Butterfly.” He leans over and brushes his lips against my nose. “I don’t mind self-destructing if it’s with you.”
I stare at Cole. He appears as dazed as me. As speechless as me. I’m not pregnant. It should make me happy, but all I want to do is cry.
“What do you want from me? Just leave me alone.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” “Because you’re in pain. I hate it when you’re in pain, Butterfly.”
I grin, watching him study the old pavement with that curious glint in his eyes. It’s so rare to see him unleash his inner nerd.
