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We need to learn how to avoid distraction. Living the life we want not only requires doing the right things, but also necessitates not doing the things we know we’ll regret. • The problem is deeper than tech. Being indistractable isn’t about being a Luddite. It’s about understanding the real reasons why we do things against our best interests. • Here’s what it takes. We can be indistractable by learning and adopting four key strategies.
Even when we think we’re seeking pleasure, we’re actually driven by the desire to free ourselves from the pain of wanting.
Most people don’t want to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that distraction is always an unhealthy escape from reality. How we deal with uncomfortable internal triggers determines whether we pursue healthful acts of traction or self-defeating distractions.
Understand the root cause of distraction. Distraction is about more than your devices. Separate proximate causes from the root cause. • All motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. If a behaviour was previously effective at providing relief, we’re likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort. • Anything that stops discomfort is potentially addictive, but that doesn’t make it irresistible. If you know the drivers of your behaviour, you can take steps to manage them.
It’s good to know that feeling bad isn’t actually bad; it’s exactly what survival of the fittest intended.
By reimagining an uncomfortable internal trigger, we can disarm it. • Step 1. Look for the emotion preceding distraction. • Step 2. Write down the internal trigger. • Step 3. Explore the negative sensation with curiosity instead of contempt. • Step 4. Be extra cautious during liminal moments.
• We can master internal triggers by reimagining an otherwise dreary task. Fun and play can be used as tools to keep us focused. • Play doesn’t have to be pleasurable. It just has to hold our attention. • Deliberateness and novelty can be added to any task to make it fun.
• Reimagining our temperament can help us manage our internal triggers. • We don’t run out of willpower. Believing we do makes us less likely to accomplish our goals, by providing a rationale to quit when we could otherwise persist. • What we say to ourselves matters. Labelling yourself as having poor self-control is self-defeating. • Practise self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. People who are more self-compassionate are more resilient.
You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it is distracting you from. Planning ahead is the only way to know the difference between traction and distraction. • Does your calendar reflect your values? To be the person you want to be, you have to make time to live your values. • Timebox your day. The three life domains of you, relationships and work provide a framework for planning how to spend your time. • Reflect and refine. Revise your schedule regularly, but you must commit to it once it’s set.
Schedule time for yourself first. You are at the centre of the three life domains. By not allocating time for yourself, the other two domains suffer. • Show up when you say you will. You can’t always control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task. • Input is much more certain than outcome. When it comes to living the life you want, making sure you allocate time to living your values is the only thing you should focus on.
The people you love deserve more than getting whatever time is left over. If someone is important to you, make regular time for them on your calendar. • Go beyond scheduling date days with your significant other. Put domestic chores on your calendar to ensure an equitable split. • A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. Ensure you maintain important relationships by scheduling time for regular get-togethers.
Syncing your schedule with stakeholders at work is critical for making time for traction in your day. Without visibility of how you spend your time, colleagues and managers are more likely to distract you with superfluous tasks. • Sync as frequently as your schedule changes. If your schedule template changes from day to day, have a daily check-in. However, most people find a weekly alignment is sufficient.
External triggers often lead to distraction. Cues in our environment like the pings, dings, rings from devices, as well as interruptions from other people, frequently take us off-track. • External triggers aren’t always harmful. If an external trigger leads us to traction, it serves us. • We must ask: is this trigger serving me, or am I serving it? Then, we can hack back the external triggers that don’t serve us.
Interruptions lead to mistakes. You can’t do your best work if you’re frequently distracted. • Open-office floor plans increase distraction. • Defend your focus. Signal when you do not want to be interrupted. Use a screen sign or some other clear cue to let people know you are indistractable.
