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Good God I want to run and hide. “Um…cake…has name.” I turn around, avoiding his eyes. And I leave with a hot, lengthy stride.
Charlie twists the gold ring on his finger. A Faust Academy crest of a falcon and crown rest in the center. He never had to tell me, but I know that’s his father’s high school ring.
“If people think that I’m betraying my family, they’re dumber than I thought,” he says. “Which is saying something because I think the human race has a chronic case of idiocy.”
“No,” he cuts me off quickly. “I’ve never wanted something this badly in my life, Oscar, and I’ve wanted a lot. I’ve gotten a lot. I just haven’t had you.”
I’m always a positive force for others, and to have someone be mine is everything and more.
“Susmaryosep,” my mom exclaims with a hand to her forehead. She basically said Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
“I sometimes think that maybe it’ll stop one day. This feeling inside me…frustration…all the fucking time.” He blinks into more tears. “But it never really goes away, and…it has to be drowned out by something stronger. Either…pain or love.”
Oh Charlie…I dont care what anyone else says, he’s one of my favorite Core 6 kids
“Life,” Charlie says, eyes closed, pain cinching his face. “Stupid people, the aftereffects of my choices…walking backwards.”
smile reaches his eyes, and then he captures my pawn in a casual move. “I hope Jack will still do the show,” he says. “I know how much it means to him, and that does mean something to me.”
“Love,” Charlie muses into a sad smile, almost longing. Wishing. I wish I could help open that door for him one day.
His love carries me through the barrel of every wave. I’m already up on the board. I’m coasting on these feelings. Riding them to shore.
