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I love my job. There’s really nothing like it in the world. The fact that every day is different, that it’s like being on a drug, adrenaline coursing through my veins, well…the only time I felt like this was in the ring. But it’s different here. Better.
Highland and I have history. Okay, that’s a lie. We have zero history. Because the guy rejected my kiss. Rejected me.
I may have fallen for a straight guy, but my heart is bricked back up. Duct-taped shut. Jack’s not getting anywhere near it, and once I have my clothes it’ll cement that shit.
I just officiated my best friend’s wedding. I just watched him walk down the aisle in Anacapri and marry the love of his life. And now…now my urge to be in a relationship has ballooned to the umpteenth degree.
Jack Highland is often behind a camera; yet, he looks like he could model for a cologne ad.
He’s got this way of staring at you like he knows you. Understands you. And I’m not a fucking idiot. A part of that is just his charm, embedded into his DNA.
he jokes with a smile that captivates, that could make the saddest motherfucker on this planet feel some kind of happiness.
I want to disintegrate right now. I’ve never been this fucking mortified. I feel like an idiot, and I know I’m not one.
aw:(
We’re all a lot of where we come from, just as much as we are the people who raised us and who we’ve met along the way.
Charlie twists the gold ring on his finger. A Faust Academy crest of a falcon and crown rest in the center. He never had to tell me, but I know that’s his father’s high school ring.
“If people think that I’m betraying my family, they’re dumber than I thought,” he says. “Which is saying something because I think the human race has a chronic case of idiocy.”
Our dad slams down the gavel just as strongly, but I’d say that my mom does everything better. My dad would be the first to agree. She’s the heart of the Highland family.
Can I blame them? “I can’t talk about it” gets stale fast, and last thing I want is to be stale bread to the person I’m dating. Not when I’m a motherfucking feast.
Akara can also play the drums, but I don’t offer him as a suggestion because I know he’s way too busy to fill in for The Carraways.
akara didn’t need to get hotter and yet
It’s lonely being the only Omega bodyguard in Hell’s Kitchen.
:(
I don’t want to diminish the magnitude of what he did for Farrow, who’s practically the reason Donnelly is living and breathing—though Farrow will never say this to anyone.
“It was worth it.” Is that the measure of our actions? Whether they’re worth something for the people we care about?
No matter how many times Charlie comes back to see the Winged Victory of Samothrace, a gorgeous eight-foot marble sculpture of a winged goddess, he still has that same awed reverence in his eyes as the first time I saw him here. It’s a gift not to become jaded by beauty.
Hurting him isn’t on my agenda. Nowhere near, and so I tip my head back to him and say, “Are you sure I’m not your type?” Mic drop.
DAMNNN
“I’d definitely like to see this mean side phenomenon.” Flirting again. Twenty points deducted from Slytherin. The Hale family would be so proud of my geeky ass thoughts.
He’s told me multiple times, Anytime you want to stay here, Oscar, it’s yours. We don’t have a buddy-guard relationship, but there is a level of respect and kindness that exists between us.
“Then I made the right decision with this show. Aunt Lily always says she can predict love, but she has nothing on me.” With another drag of his cigarette, his eyes ping between Jack and me.
mastermind charlie I knew it
“L’enfer est vide et tous les diables sont ici.” Hell is empty and all the devils are here. I recognize the Shakespeare quote. The Tempest.
“You alright, Jack?” Ali asks. “Yeah.” I run a hand through my hair. “Just lack of sleep.” Oscar. Really, it’s Oscar.
His tattoo on his bicep is in full view. Farrow’s name. He got Farrow’s name tattooed on his arm. Almost couldn’t believe it when I saw it. But then again, yeah I can. He’s really in love with my best friend.
Absolutely love Kitsuwon as my boss. I’d move mountains for Akara. He cares and would put his ass over hot coals for my ass, so I’d do it for him. Not all men I’ve worked under in security were like that.
“Why 0502? Don’t you usually go for 1118 in passwords?” 11/18 is my birthday. November 18th. May 2nd is Oscar’s birthday.
NO WAY WHAT
“Stop!” My two hands are on my head. “I can’t stop!” His voice is anguished. “I need out!” “I like you!” I yell from my gut, from my heart. “I like you, Oscar!”
“You don’t have any friends that could help?” I run my tongue over my teeth as I shake my head. “No. No one I’d want to confide in other than you.” I find myself beginning to smile at him.
EEEEE
Bad timing—I have a feeling Oscar and I might be magnetically attached to it.
I should go to bed too, but this feels like the most comfortable place to be. Awake, talking to him.
Even though I’m yawning up a storm, I don’t know how I’m going to fall asleep tonight. He’s all I’m thinking about.
The more I’m understanding Charlie, the more I’m realizing he’s more of an open book than people would believe, but his pages are written in an ancient language.
Our eyes catch in a beat that says, we’re on the same side. Not necessarily as production and security. But just as myself and him. As Oscar and Jack. I’m really falling for this guy, aren’t I?
A heady feeling washes over me. Butterflies. I’m thirty-two and still getting butterflies from a handhold, and we’ve already run some bases together.
“I, uh…sorry.” He straightens up too, breath knotted. “It just came out.” He tries to smile. “You don’t like nicknames?” I love them. I’d give him a hundred corny, sappy nicknames if I could.
“When I talk to people, I love making them feel good, but with you…I never wanted it to stop. I wanted to come back for more, even when my work said, focus on your subject. I just wished that my subject was you.”
Effortless beauty and grace with the ferocity of a lion. Charlie read that review to me after Beckett’s first season as a principal dancer.
“Basta ikaw,” I say in Tagalog and translate casually, “as long as I’m with you, because it’s you.” I swig my beer. “Baseball isn’t so bad in your company.”
“Because you’re Jack Highland!” he shouts in frustration. “You’re too captivating, too hopeful, too sexy, too determined and bold. You’re the total package—you’re a knockout, bro, and maybe I’m afraid you’re going to knock me out.”
Trust me.” Trust him. There is no question. No uncertainty. He has all my trust. I’ve gift wrapped it and delivered it to his door.
“I promise. It’s Oscar and Jack take on Philly, New York, California, the world—you and me, Long Beach.” I point from my chest to his chest, tears threatening to well.
He suddenly, mightily, resoundingly bridges the gap—and his lips are on mine. Time freezes. The world recedes, and we clasp each other’s face and kiss and kiss with soul-bearing passion. Hanging on. Like we’re spinning on an axis and headed for the sky.
AKSJSJSSH
“I’ve never wanted something this badly in my life, Oscar, and I’ve wanted a lot. I’ve gotten a lot. I just haven’t had you.”
“Your phone might be on diarrhea-mode right now, but it’s fleeting. And this stressful moment in time will pass.”
Charlie rams his right foot into the ladder like he’s shoving an enemy off a cliff. It careens, and the metal ladder and Clifford plummet to the stage with a loud crack!
Charlie is fucking crazy, I love him
I smile more and tilt up the camera to capture the light in his brown eyes. “Prettiest part of the setting so far. What do you have to say, Oscar Oliveira?” He rotates fully towards me, elbows resting back on the railing. Paperback loose in his hand. “That it’s not possible to be the prettiest part of the setting when I’m looking at the prettiest thing here.”
No one has ever made me feel like the focal point. The center of attention. I’m never the subject. He doesn’t just see me. He acts like I should be the lead of not just one movie but every movie, and fuck if that doesn’t feel good—I don’t know what else could.
“The brightest light shining during the darkest hour,” I smile. “That’s pretty good.” “I’m only doing my best work with you, Long Beach.” I smile, but my lips fall gradually. “What happens when the light dims? You’ll still be interested then?” “Oh yeah.” Oscar nods. “I’m every star circling around you. You need a spark, I’m there.” He says it like a promise.
I’m waiting for Highland to realize he deserves more time and emotional support than I can give. And then the axe will fall, and we’ll be done when we’ve just started.
