Landon & Shay: Part One (L&S Duet, #1)

by Brittainy C. Cherry

Standing in a crowded room when no one was able to truly see you was the loneliest I’d ever felt.

That night, when Shay looked up and locked eyes with me in the midst of my aching, I felt terrified that she saw me, yet also somewhat…comforted? It was an odd sensation, and I wasn’t completely sure how to accept the moment. When someone saw your pain and didn’t look away, it felt like a gift, like they were allowing you to be exactly who you were without shame or judgments. I just wished that gift was given to me by someone who wasn’t Shay Gable.

“Last time we spoke, we talked about finding a hobby for you. How are we doing on finding something to keep you busy? Did you find anything to keep your interest?” “Well, yeah. Kind of.” Shay. Shay, Shay, and Shay.

“What’s wrong, Landon?” She raised an eyebrow. “Does my closeness make you uncomfortable?” “It’s going to take a lot more than a little close proximity to scare me off, dollface.” “Don’t call me dollface.” “Then don’t have one.”

“I bet you think oxygen is overrated, too, based on the lack of it going to your brain cells.” She smiled, and damn, it was beautiful.

All the days before had felt like wading through quicksand—slow, exhausting, and hopeless—but now with Shay? I felt entertained, refreshed. It felt good to mess with her, to get in her head. We loved pushing each other’s buttons. We loved the way we pissed each other off. We loved the hate we were able to give each other every day we walked into school.

I didn’t care what he thought. I despised him. From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, I loathed that man.

It was hard for me to listen to them fight, because I loved them all so much. I just wished, over time, they could find a happy medium. That was why I did my best to be a good girl. There was already so much tension in my home, and I didn’t want to add any more stress to the situation, or add more stress to Mom’s already heavily laden shoulders. I was a perfect little princess. I didn’t drink. I didn’t do drugs. I never, ever skipped school. My grades were all As, and if there was ever extra credit, I was all over it. I was a star student, an easy kid to raise, all because I knew my house was too fragile to withhold any more struggles. My parents never had to worry about what their daughter was doing—because I was always doing the right thing.

I came from a household of addiction. My father was addicted to drugs—both using and dealing them—and my mother was addicted to him. I was surprised an addiction hadn’t swallowed me whole yet.

She pushed her purse up on her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Landon. It’s not like she’d ever want to fall in love with someone like you, anyway. A person like her would never fall for trash.”

My hands burned from the chilled bar in my grip, but I was thankful for that. I was thankful to feel something, even if it hurt. Feeling any kind of pain meant I was still alive. That had to count for something.

I think I was born with a hole in my heart. It doesn’t beat like it’s supposed to, and I don’t know if that makes it unworthy of love. What kind of person would want to love a broken heart? What kind of person would take the time to listen to the heartbeats of something so damaged? I just hope broken hearts can receive love, too. I think us broken hearts need love the most.

“It’s still there, Landon,” Maria swore. “Your heart—I still hear it beating. You’re good. You’re okay. You’re all right.” That broke me even more.

And even though I didn’t know how it was possible, my ugly, damaged heart still continued to beat.

He descended the hallways like a fallen angel. Dark, moody, wounded, shattered in ways I hadn’t known people could be shattered.

He smiled. I hated it because Landon’s smile made me want to smile, too. It looked so good on him. He should’ve done it more often.

My heart… It skipped. It flipped. It vomited.

I turned away as his lips curved up one more time. That made three. Three smiles from Landon all in the span of five minutes. Three smiles. Three breathtakingly beautiful smiles.

“You read people, right? That’s what you do? Look into my eyes and tell me if I’m a boy who’s lying to you. Tell me what you see.”

“Catch me if you can.” Don’t worry, Shay Gable. I will.

Yes, princess. Princess. I’d have to try that nickname. I was sure she’d hate it.

I wondered if believing in God came easy to Shay. The battle of God was more like a war for me. I wanted to believe in him, but he’d given me so many reasons not to do so.

She was beautiful, and anyone else who was auditioning for Juliet should’ve packed their bags and left, because she was easily the right one for the role, and I was determined to be her star-crossed lover.

“Come on, Freckles,” he whispered, shaking his head. “You were made to be Juliet. There’s no one better.” I kind of liked Freckles. Most people didn’t even notice I had freckles. You had to look pretty close to notice them.

Gosh, it was working. Every now and then, he’d say rude comments, but then he’d slip in a few nice gentle words, and my heart would start to melt like butter. For a second, I almost fell for it, almost succumbed to his cheesy kindness. But you know what you get from a melting-butter heart? Clogged arteries. That was what Landon did to me—he clogged my freaking arteries.

Each day we rehearsed, Landon’s talent became even more apparent. It floored me how effortless he made it all look, too, and how dedicated he was. At first, I’d thought he would drop out of the show the moment he saw how much work it actually took to bring a performance together, but Landon didn’t shy away from the challenge—he embraced it.

I knew deep down that I could never fall for Landon. He wasn’t the kind of guy who would catch the girl. Especially me. Me and my sensitive heart.

“Wait, don’t you want him to fall in love with you to win the bet?” “Yes.” “And you want to do that by torturing him?” “Uh-huh.” Raine raised an eyebrow and shook her head. “I don’t think you understand how love works.”

She turned back around, walking to her car, and something happened to my heart in my chest. It tightened? It skipped? It beat in overdrive? I wasn’t exactly sure. I wasn’t used to my heart doing anything other than following its mundane pattern. Then, along came Shay Gable, and she went ahead and messed up my rhythmic patterns, all because of a nice compliment.

Had my heart skipped a beat over my sworn enemy? What. The. Hell. Was. That?

“You’re having a shitty day, and you’re right, you probably can’t trust anything that leaves my mouth. I’m known for being cold and heartless, but I get having off days. I’ve been having nothing but off weeks—off months—lately. So, I get feeling like shit. Therefore, I’d never use your bad days against you, Shay. Not for this game; not for this life.”

I know you’ve been wavering back and forth on getting a degree in film and creative writing, because realistically, for the average person, it’s a crappy idea, but you aren’t average, Shay. You’re extraordinary.”

“But you could,” Eleanor offered up. “You have a loving kind of heart. You could love monsters if they could be loved.” I snickered. “Tracey called it a sensitive heart.” “Yes, that’s it. I don’t mean it in a bad way. All I mean is, I think you feel things more than most people do. You love harder and deeper, and I just worry if Landon hurts you—” “He won’t,” I cut in. “I won’t let him.” “But what if he does? What if you fall for him and he breaks your heart?” “I don’t know,” I confessed. I didn’t have a clue what I’d do if Landon caused cracks that would slice into my soul. Each day that passed, I worried a little more and more about that possibility.

“If he breaks my heart, I hope the cracks tell a good story.”

“It’s just…” I sat back in my seat and clutched the steering wheel in my hands as I closed my eyes. “If I’m thinking about you and this stupid bet, it gives me less time to think about me and the shitstorm that is my life.” “Same,” she confessed. When I opened my eyes, her head was tilted my way. Those deep brown eyes burned holes into my soul with such ease. Her eyes were my favorite part of her, too. They told full-length stories without any words. That was my favorite part of watching her perform on stage. Her eyes always showed the truest forms of her emotions, and that night, they were saying something so heartbreaking.

“Well, good. I think…I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I could let people in so my mind didn’t have to spin all by itself. Just to have someone to say, ‘That sucks and I’m sorry. Here’s a hug.’ You know what I mean? I don’t need anyone to try to fix me or anything—I’m strong enough to fix myself. I just wish I had someone to get comfort from every now and then. But I’m okay. Really, I’m good. Overall, my life is good.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I promised. “Do what?” “Say you’re okay when you’re not.” Her head lowered and shook back and forth. “People don’t like me when I’m sad.” “How do you know? You never let them close enough to see your tears.” Her lips parted, but no words came out. For the first time in my life, I saw Shay. I saw the girl behind the mask, the one who felt so much and hid those feelings from the world because she felt as if they were too much of a burden to impose on others. I saw her cracks, and they were so beautiful that it almost made my frozen heart beat again. I’d never known sadness could be so hauntingly beautiful.

“Tell me your secrets, and I’ll tell you mine,” I whispered her way, the words rolling from my tongue and piercing her ears. She shut her eyes for a second, and when she reopened them, they were flooded with emotions, but she didn’t dare let a tear fall...

“You ever feel like you’re running in circles? You have your past behind you, and you’re trying to beat it, to be better than it, but then situations keep coming and tossing you backward. Every step you take forward, you fall two steps back. It feels like no matter how much you fight for your future, your past keeps pulling you under.” “I know that feeling all too well.”

“I want my parents to do something different, even if it’s just for a day. I want them to stop this cycle. I want Dad to quit with the lies for good. I want Mom to leave him if he doesn’t change his ways. I want her to know her worth. I want something to stick. I want the change to really matter. I want to stop living in a house that suffocates me and leaves me jaded.”

“So, tell me your secret,” she said, and I didn’t even try to keep it to myself. I wanted to know all of her secrets, and I wanted to tell her all of mine. Why though? Why did I feel such a pull to a girl I’d spent so much time hating?

“You know how you have down days like today?” I asked. “Yes.” “That’s every day for me.” I’d never told anyone that before. I’d never confessed how heavy my heart sat in my chest, how hard it was to breathe every single day, but she had opened up to me in the middle of the night, and I figured why the hell not open up to her, too. That night we were on an even playing field. She was sad, and I was, too.

Either way, I felt as if I was fighting a daily battle against depression. Depression. Why did that word feel so heavy? Why did it make me feel like such a failure?

CAM & KJG Before I could ask about the pairing, Shay reached into her pocket, pulled out a set of keys, and started scratching at the letters. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down,” I shouted, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back, but even though she was small, she was strong. She ripped out of my hold and went back to slashing at the bark. I grabbed her again, this time tighter, and spun her around to face away from the tree. “What the hell are you doing, Chick? You can’t be out here destroying people’s happily ever afters.” “No, I have to. The legend says the initials mean their love will last forever, not that they will be happy, and my parents aren’t happy. They’re trapped in this messed-up loop, and I have to stop it.” My cold heart broke for her. She was shaking repeatedly as she tried to get back to the tree, but I wouldn’t let her go. I couldn’t. She was falling apart in my grip, tears washing down her cheeks as she lost herself in me.

She dropped her keys and began sobbing into my arms. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I couldn’t think of how to make her feel better, so I stood there and held her as she fell apart. For so long, I’d hated her because I thought she was Little Miss Perfect. I’d hated her happiness. I’d hated her because I had scars and she had none, and now I felt like a damn idiot for ever thinking such a thing. It turned out everyone in the world had scars. Everyone had cracks and cuts that bled into their soul each night. Some people were simply better at hiding them.

She pulled on my shirt and cried, losing herself against my white long-sleeved T-shirt, and I held her like I was planning on never letting her go. As she lay there in my arms, my heart melted a little for her, for her hurts, for her pain and suffering.

“Sorry,” she muttered, wiping at her eyes. “I’m snotty and a complete mess.” Her eyes were red and puffy, and tears were still falling from her eyes, and she was right—she looked like a complete wreck. Broken, raw, and— “Beautiful,” I truthfully told her. “You look beautiful.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure Shay had ever looked so beautiful and real. Her pain had the kind of beauty that made you want to protect her from the world. I wanted to hold her again, soothe her, and let her know her emotions were what made her real.

I bent down to pick up her keys, and before handing them back over to Shay, I walked over to the tree and scratched out the rest of the initials of her parents. If said tree was a curse, I wanted to end it for her. I wanted to break the spell of jaded love that affected her family line. I wanted to free her so that somewhere down the line, she could have a real love.

She released a weighted sigh and took the keys from my hand. Her fingers brushed against my palm, and a part of my soul I hadn’t known existed lit up. What was that? What was that feeling, and how had she unlocked it?

“Thank you, Landon,” she whispered. “Always,” I replied. I think I meant that, too...