Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence

by Shelle Rose Charvet

A great hint for all entrepreneurs looking for funding: if asked a problem-focused question by investors, start briefly with how to avoid the problem and then quickly shift to how you will achieve your goals.

My advice to those of you who suffer from Writer's Block is to get anything down on paper (or up on the screen), even if you have to ask someone else to draft a letter, for example. Then fix it. It will be much less tedious, and you won't waste a lot of time wondering what to say.

Toward family, you might tell them (if it matches their Criteria) that this house is close to the schools, has lots of room, and is near public transport. For an Away From family, you could say that it isn't far from the schools, isn't too small, and you don't have to walk miles to get to public transport.

Opposite

you can set up the Away From their problem, then Toward the right solution process, you have already created movement in the client's mind.

Away from problems + goal movement

Their motivation is triggered when they get to gather information from the outside, process it against their own standards, and make judgments about it.

External people do not hold standards within themselves. They gather them from an outside source, including what they see on the internet. At work, if there is long absence of any external feedback or reaction to their work, they may experience something akin to sensory deprivation.

"This is how to do it."

The Suggestion Model

Make the suggestion (Using the Language of Suggestion for Internals) State what problem it avoids or solves (Away From) State the benefit (Toward) Overall why it's easy to do (for Externals)

It's not perfect. Would you take a look at it?"

"but you are free to refuse".

As you probably know....(then state the thing you suspect they do not know) Use the language of suggestion: You may wish to consider... I understand that other organizations have had this issue and what some of them have done is... How have you solved this problem? (implies they have already solved all the problems) With your experience and knowledge in this area.... Your role is.... My role is... (establishing different yet equal roles)

"information you might want to consider",

as a question.

she thought she had done something well, she had to check with others to make sure it was all right. I suspect that this has to do with low self-esteem and self-confidence.

"I'd reconsider that if I were you,"

Employees with an Internal Pattern work best with little supervision.

get agreement on the standards to be met first.

"Here's a challenge for you."

External employees will look to their manager for guidance and encouragement.

what we say and do really does matter.

"Only you can know what you want, although most people are getting this one."

own internal standards.

outside feedback

motivated by opportunities and possibilities to do something in a different way.

he will try to improve it.

breaking or bending the rules.

list of Criteria

opportunities, possibilities

did not choose

"how" it happened

a ...

break the rules just for you;

another better way; unlimited possibilities;

here are the ...

the sky's the...

first . . . then . . . after which ...the last step;

the procedure is;

But if someone is in Reactive and Options mode, they are not Proactively and consistently following the Procedures needed to succeed. They are just thinking about their dreams. So, they buy the program, don't follow it, feel like a failure (because they believe that success is up to them personally) and then purchase the next product, hoping that will be the one that will do it for them. Unfortunately, no program will "do it for you", since you need to do the work to succeed.