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The library won’t let you borrow more books until you return it, but you never return it because you’ll never need any other book.”
Because instead of looking at either woman squished against us, my gaze gets stuck on hard muscles, an unshaven square jaw, and blond hair that’s short enough to run my hands through but still grip onto if I—
Apparently being a grown-up means shit changes, and if that’s the case, when the fuck did I get old?
Miller doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, and I don’t know why that gets to me so much. Any other guy I’d write off and not care about, but when we were in college, we were so close it felt like all I needed was him. Girls came and went, and my parents and brother were back home in Denver. Miller and I both had a ton of friends, but they didn’t know the real us. They knew the football stars. The big jocks on campus.
I always thought Miller understood that, and what we had wasn’t your average friendship, but clearly he’s outgrown it. Or maybe we weren’t as close as I thought we were.
Outside the locker room, I hate the way my face brightens when I see him...
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“Now, how long do you think we should make Jackson suffer with pretending to be on the phone to his boyfriend?” I manage a strained smile. “Until we finish off his food, at least.” “Good man. There’s the Miller I know and love.”
The twist in my gut when he says something like that makes my chest tighter and tighter until soon his words will be like a tourniquet wrapped around my heart.
When he graduated, I was so lost I had no idea what was going on with me. There was a hole in my chest, and I had to figure out if it was a Talon thing or a guy thing.
Because if the flush creeping across his face and his awkwardness have anything to say, it’s that he might not have entirely hated seeing Jackson and his boyfriend together. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Shane. Right. Straight guys don’t get turned on by gay sex. They just don’t.
I look over at Miller leaning against the wall, his head back against the brick of the building and his eyes closed. His chest rises and falls fast, as if he’s breathing through the pain, and as my gaze travels over his large chest, powerful arms, and thick and powerful thighs, I can’t help thinking how amazing he looks.
He smiles, and dimples appear. It reminds me of the millions of times I’ve seen that exact expression on him, and warmth fills my chest. Yep. Definite confusion.
The main thing that keeps repeating in my head, and I don’t know why, is the way Jackson laid his claim with his boyfriend. The whispered words, the gentle touches even though they were really going at it. I’ve never felt that with anyone. Hell, I need to have more than one person in my bed just so I can feel something.
Breathing heavy, I’m thrown into the reality that I jerked off to my best friend. Not his body. Not him banging some girl in front of me. But of the day he was drafted. It was all him. Well, that’s new …
The conversation is how any conversation between me and Talon would’ve gone back in the day, and I fucking miss him so much. Having him close has messed with my head like no other person ever has.
“Clearly, they haven’t given you enough drugs if you’re this grumpy. Then again, if they give you more, you’d probably poke me with that monster boner you’re rocking.” “You wish.” The quip rolls off my tongue like it would if I was smack talking any of the team, but this time, it makes me pause. It’s different with him. “Maybe I do.”
It’s a joke, I know that, but my body doesn’t. I nearly stumble and fall on my fucking face. “Whoa.” Talon catches me and wraps his arm around my waist, while I put mine around his shoulders. “One joke about your dick, and you’re falling for me, huh?”
Either these drugs are better than I thought or he’s flirting with me. It has to be the drugs. Straight guys don’t flirt with other supposed straight friends.
“When you went down on the field tonight, my heart stopped, and I wanted to trade places with you. I wish I could take away your pain, because you’re the best guy I know, Shane.”
“And I can deny it all I want—tell everyone I signed with the Warriors because it was more money—but watching you tonight and helping you struggle right now, I know that it’s a lie. I’ve been lying to myself for months.” “What lie is that?” My question is so quiet, even I barely hear it, but Talon moves in even closer. “I moved to Chicago because I missed you. It’s simple, really.”
What am I doing, and why the fuck am I touching Miller like this? I went from freaking out about all of this to suddenly checking out Miller every chance I get and then waxing poetic about missing him. Not to mention, feeling him up in the bathroom while he’s wearing a hospital gown. Because he’s injured. And in pain.
My shoulders fall, and I relent, because as I’ve recently worked out, Miller is my one weakness—the guy I’d fucking kill for if he asked me to. I go to open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“I moved to Chicago for you because I’ve never had as much fun as when we were roommates. When I think about the happiest times in my life, it wasn’t when I was drafted to the NFL. It wasn’t when I won a Super Bowl or when I put that championship ring on for the very first time. It’s all those nights a million years ago being your roommate and friend.”
“I thought that might’ve had something to do with it, but you know what has killed me since you’ve been avoiding me? Not that you used the media and our position as a way of putting a stop to repeating old mistakes, but that you ignored me afterward. I won’t deny the nights sharing a girl with you has been the best sex I’ve ever had, and I’ve missed it because I’ve never trusted another guy the way I trust you, but I wasn’t thinking about that when I accepted the Warriors’ offer. It was you.”
I don’t know I’m moving because it’s so slow, but then I’m suddenly there, pressed against him and catching his scent of sweat and dirt from the field. He smells of where I belong, because if there’s one thing in my life I’ve always been sure of, it’s football.
Miller turns his head, and our lips find each other’s.
Our mouths come together to create something that turns all my confusion from the past few weeks into something beautiful and warm and totally unexpected.
My whole body relaxes under his strong hands. The kiss turns up the heat when he slips his tongue into my mouth accompanied by a groan so forceful I feel it in my toes.
The thrill of kissing my old best friend has the same adrenaline effect as extreme sports, and God knows I’m a competitive athlete who wants to win.
What winning means in this situation, I have no idea, but I’m hoping it involves a lot of coming. My dick likes that idea and digs into Miller’s hip. I’m kissing a guy, and my dick is hard.
I cup the back of Miller’s head and angle mine to deepen the kiss—a kiss I never knew would be so hot. So consuming. Miller moans into my mouth, and I savor the masculine sound.
Kissing a man is an entirely new sensory experience. From the roughness and strength in his hold to the scruff on his face scraping my skin, kissing Miller is like nothing I’ve ever done before. It’s incomparable.
“Yeah, shame,” Jackson says dryly. “Although something tells me you enjoyed it anyway.”
My mouth slams shut, because I don’t know if he’s finally calling me on it or if he’s implying he knows I got hard over the thing me and him agreed to never speak about again.
“Have you ever … uh, you know—” “Been so blindsided by a kiss that I don’t know which way’s up anymore? Don’t know whether I’m going crazy or getting turned on by two guys going at it is normal? Uh, no. That’s all new.”
his boyfriend are sitting, too engrossed in each other to sense us approach. Damon has his arm casually draped over Maddox’s chair and is leaning in to say something in Maddox’s ear. Maddox’s blond hair shines off the neon lighting, but it’s his smile that glows. Both he and Damon are all shiny and happy. I’ve never seen a more in love couple. Apart from maybe Noah and Jackson. But Noah and Jackson are more primal. I’ve seen the way they look at each other from across a room, like they can’t get home fast enough to tear each other’s clothes off. What I’m seeing in front of me is something just
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“Don’t push yourself too hard.” As if reliving a memory, Damon’s face loses some of that couple glow I just witnessed. That is, until Maddox reaches for his hand and gives him a reassuring smile. All I’ve wanted for years—is for Talon to stare at me the way Maddox looks at Damon.
I find Maddox hilarious, but Damon rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around Maddox to pull him back to his side.
“Well, I can’t speak for the other guy, but if Damon had never given me a chance, I’d hate to think what we would’ve both missed out on.” He glances over at his boyfriend with the same look he was giving him when we walked in—the look that tells everyone in this bar who Maddox belongs to.
I was more attracted to Damon as a person rather than to his cock. Although it turns out I’m fond of that too.”
“When can you start reconditioning?” “Not until the end of the season.” Talon’s frown deepens. “Is that gonna be enough time? What’s your management plan? Where are you working out?” Quarterback Talon makes his appearance. The one who’s all business, and one of the reasons I find him so hot. “I dunno. I’ll probably do it all here in New York.” Talon’s lips purse. “Nah, we should go somewhere and do it. Like a training retreat. I’ll have to go home at some point and see the fam first, but then we can go to the middle of nowhere so there’s nothing to do but eat and train.” “Wait, what?” His blue
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The thought of Miller getting hard because of me makes my own dick perk up. Not that it wasn’t half there already.
“Have you thought about other guys that way?” I don’t know if I want to know the answer. Miller breaks eye contact again. “I’ve been with guys before.” Yup, I didn’t want to know that. My chest tightens, and while I can’t be sure because it’s never happened to me before, I think it’s jealousy. Which is ridiculous. I’ve been in the very same room while Miller’s been with women. Why does the gender of his hookups matter?
“Because even though this is the worst idea in the history of ideas … it’s always been you. Those hookups in college might’ve shown me that I’m attracted to guys, but you’re the only one I’ve ever truly wanted.” My eyes widen, and he backtracks.
“Marc.” Miller says, exasperated, but I get stuck on him calling me Marc. No one calls me that—not even my mother. It’s always Marcus, a name I haven’t really connected with since before I took up football and became Talon.
I like it coming from him. Just like I love it when I call him Shane. There’s something that’s just so … us about it.
“Then I guess there’s only one thing left for me to do.” “What’s that?” Miller’s tone takes on that husky side I’ve only begun to hear since we started fucking around. I’m guessing he’s expecting me to make a joke or say I’ll distract him from football with phone sex, but I’m dead serious when I say, “I’m gonna win you a championship ring.”
This is a win bigger than the NFL. Bigger than Jackson, Miller, and me. But my motivation had nothing to do with that. It was purely to give Miller everything he ever wanted, and I’m beginning to learn there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for him.
“You’re here.” My voice is a mix of a worried croak and relieved breath. I want to ask him where he was, I want to go to him, but I don’t do either. Seeing him in person like this … the pull I’ve always had toward him has never been stronger. “What, you think I was gonna miss this?” His words are cocky, but there’s something like doubt beneath it all.
“We fucking won.” I can’t help smiling. “Yeah. You did.” Talon shakes his head. “No. We did. I did it for you. And you weren’t there, but you were there, and I understand why, and—”
