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“Do you think it’s possible to be in love with someone for years and not know it?”
“A lot of people do something because they think it’s the norm. It’s staying true to yourself when you don’t meet social expectations that’s hard.”
“You threw imaginary glitter at him and yelled ‘Be majestic, bitch!’”
“You did just fine without him, Mr. Super Bowl Winner,” she practically purrs. Ugh. If Amelia were ever to go missing and they looked at security footage of her business, I guarantee I’d be a prime suspect with the way I glare at her as she flirts with my man. My man. Yup. Talon’s mine even if we haven’t defined that yet.
“Would a threesome with your PT be hot? Hell yeah, it would be. But you’ve already said that’s a hard line for you, and Shane”—Talon pierces me with his blue eyes—“I don’t need anyone else. I used to think I did, but that was only because I’d never been with the right person.” The right person. I’m the right person? “I don’t need anyone else either,” I whisper. Talon grins. “Good. Then it’s settled.” I nod. “Settled.”
Talon positions himself at my feet and runs his hands up my legs and rests them on my knees as he leans forward. “No, you don’t. You want me to be your boyyyfriend. Because you liiike me. You want to—”
“I have a better idea for that mouth of yours.” He cups my face and brings his lips to mine for a chaste, soft kiss. “I love kissing you.” “Then keep doing it.” I pull him closer, our wet bodies sliding and pushing against each other.
The way Miller kisses, I understand why he loves my mouth. Kissing him is nothing like the kisses I’ve shared with others before. I’ve had passionate kisses, warm kisses, kisses that made me feel all cozy, and others that kinda made me bored. But Miller’s mouth? It has the power to make my universe crumble. It makes me weak in the knees, and I don’t know whether to relax under the comfort of the familiarity of Miller or pin him against the wall and see how far these sparks can fly.
Miller is so fucking beautiful when he comes. I’ve seen it before, I’ve heard it, but when it’s me making him do it? It’s the best thing in the entire world.
Miller’s phone beeps on the bedside table, and he reaches for it with that long and muscular arm. Seriously, how had I never noticed how sexy a guy’s biceps are?
I want to tell him to shout it to the world, but he’s right. We can’t tell the press. I want this with Miller, and for the first time in my life, I want something real, but what does a future look like with three out players on the same NFL team?
“If there wasn’t a chance of serious repercussions, I’d so want to do that.” Leaning in, I kiss his mouth softly. I never told him about the shit Henderson was saying in the locker room, but now’s not the time to delve into it. “Let’s not think about that right now. Today should be a happy day.”
Just when I think I can’t fall for Talon more, he comes out with that. He’s the best friend any guy could ask for.
“What’s bullshit?” Gabby asks from the entrance to the hallway, and we all flinch. “She’s a freaking parrot,”
Or I’ll ride it out a little longer, because he’s right. Seeing Miller on the brink of losing control is so fucking hot.
His hand reaches back and finds mine. “Never too much with you.” It’s almost inaudible, but it’s there—something I never even knew I needed until it comes out of his mouth.
The feeling of being inside him, of being whole—Talon and Miller—it clicks. It’s something I’ve never been able to define, and until recently, I didn’t understand it. But now I do. My soul mate happens to be a male, and I’m totally okay with that.
I still love the way he ignores my bullshit.
Damon’s arm goes around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Ignore this one. He’s a weirdo.” Maddox snaps out of whatever fanboy trance he was in and turns to him. “A weirdo you’re in love with, so what does that say about you?” “That I’m not only crazy about you—I’m just plain crazy.”
While things are slightly off between us after last night, I know it’s not going to last. At least, I hope it won’t. Not after I tell him I don’t need to think about what I want, because on some level, I’ve known for years. Bottom line: I want him.
All I want is to recover and then do it again. And again. Words like forever float around my brain, and I’ve never had that before. “Shane?” “Yeah,” Miller croaks. “You’re so worth the risk. You’re worth everything.”
“Just taking the trash out,” I yell and greet the delivery guy at the door so I can take the stuff right up to the rooftop. The delivery guy helps for an extra big tip, and when he says something about the girl I’m trying to impress, I grunt a non-answer.
“Okay, fine. I lied. Let’s go.” I take his hand and take the stairs to the rooftop. It’s only one floor, so he doesn’t have time to question it. “What are we—” He stops short at the sight of the picnic rug, pillows, and candles. It’s the best I could do on short notice. The area is barren apart from some old pieces of junk piled on the southern side of the concrete roofing.
“I know we can’t, like, go on a real date or anything, but this is the closest thing I could think of. I’m trying to get us out of our bubble and you out of your head.” Miller turns to me with a wide smile. “Who knew you were a lame-ass romantic.” “Ha-ha.” I shove him, but he’s quick and takes hold of my wrist, bringing me against him. “I love it.” He holds me tight, our breaths mixing as he inches closer. Before he can close the distance and kiss me, which would effectively throw us off course, I smile and grip his hips, spinning him in the direction of the picnic.
“Shane … I’m trying here.” He tilts his head and kinda looks like a bull mastiff pup when it’s confused. “Trying what?” “To make up for not being able to do this in public? I want you to relax and forget about us, about football, and your agent. Let’s let tonight be you and me. Miller and Talon—best friends hanging out and drowning out all the bullshit.”
“I’m kidding! Even when I was with other guys, none of them compared to the way you made me feel back then. Or the way you make me feel now.” “And how’s that?” Miller cups my cheek, his thumb tracing my unshaved jaw. “Happy.” I relax and lean into his touch. Miller deserves pure happiness, and I want to be the guy to give it to him.
“It’ll probably be the same for us once it’s all out. You ready for that?” Part of me thinks he’s hoping I say no. I squeeze Miller’s hand. “I’m more than ready, because it’s different with you. With her, it felt like an obligation. With you, it’s a necessary evil I’ll gladly do because it means I get to be with you.”
“It’s not easy—loving someone you know other people will have opinions about. It’s not easy being anything society doesn’t expect you to be. But when you’re with the person who was literally created with the sole purpose of being your other half, there’s no way to fight it. There’s only the choice to hide it or face it together, and I want to fight every battle and overcome every obstacle with Miller. I want us to help pave the way for others to be who they want to be and love who they want to love.”
The pang of jealousy that hits me at them casually talking about their relationships makes me realize I’m a fucking coward. But being closeted isn’t the coward part. I’m running away from what-ifs, and that’s no way to live.
I itch to go to him. I’ve never missed someone so fucking much in my life. We may have spent most of this year apart, but being stuck here has been the hardest. Before, it didn’t really matter where we stood with each other. But now … now, everything is different because the man standing before me is my world. He’s all that matters.
“There are a million reasons not to do this. There are a few good reasons to go for it. But there’s only one reason why I’m here. It’s you, Marc. Always you.”
He makes me more human, and I love him for it. Not just the love I’ve always had for him, but the type I never knew existed. “I love you,” I blurt. Miller pulls back and smiles. “’Bout fucking time you caught up.”
“I’ve been in love with Marc since before I knew the possibility of having him was a reality.”
“Is there a hooker in the shower? Because I feel like this is a test … in which case, my answer is no. I don’t want the super-hot, super boobish hooker in the bathroom, thank you very much.”
“Always?” “Forever.”
My footsteps are heavy, and when I step through Talon’s and my hotel room, I find my boyfriend, my partner, the love of my life, pacing the small space for me.
“Well, if you’re cut, you’re going to try for another team, right? Which means you could be across the country, and I know it’s only for half the year, and then we’ll be together, but I don’t want you to leave. We’ve done this whole thing practically long-distance, and I’ve only had a short time of having you in person, and I don’t want to do that again.” I let him ramble, because he’s on a roll. “I’ll do it if we have to because I would never hold you back from your dream of playing in the NFL—I’m not that much of an asshole—but damn it, I’m super selfish and don’t want you to leave me.”
“We’ll figure it out.” “Together. We’ll figure it out together … right?” I nod. “I’m not going to run again. I know what I want.”
Talon being here, supporting me, planning our future together is all I want.
“Lucky I’m willing to keep your ass forever.” Talon pulls back and cocks his head. “Just my ass?” I shrug. “I guess I’ll take the rest of you too.” With a wry smile, he leans in and softly kisses me. “You’re so good to me.” “Sarcasm. It’s how I love.” “Holy shit, you must love me a fuck ton.” It’s my turn to kiss him. “More than a fuck ton.” “I love you too, Shane.”
I go to hand over the trophy to him but pull him into a hug at the same time, squishing it between us. God, he smells incredible. Like Miller mixed with football. We’re still in our heavy pads and sweaty and dirt-soaked uniforms, but this moment couldn’t smell any sweeter.
“Marry me. Be my husband. My best friend. My life partner. My everything.” It’s only now I realize the announcer has shoved the microphone in our faces again, and the entire eighty-thousand seat stadium heard. Everyone gets to their feet. Oh fuck … Public proposal it is after all. Miller just smiles and leans in to the microphone. With a simple word, my whole life becomes complete. “Yes.”
