The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

by Jonas Salzgeber

In every challenge lies an opportunity for growth. If we’re aware of that, we can make sure that what impedes us—setbacks and struggles—will actually empower us. We expect struggles beforehand (remember the reserve clause?) and know they’ll present a blank block of marble to hone our skills. In Stoicism, that’s always a chance to practice some virtue: courage, humility, reason, justice, patience, self-discipline, and forgiveness. Nothing

No matter what life throws at us, we have a choice: Will we be blocked by challenges, or will we fight through them? Either we shrink or we grow. The adversity presents a stepping stool to reach a higher level as a person. Without this opportunity, we can’t grow and remain where we are.

Practice 4 Remind Yourself of the Impermanence of Things “When giving your child or wife a kiss, repeat to yourself, ‘I am kissing a mortal.’” – Epictetus

The next time you say goodbye to a loved one, silently remind yourself that this might be your final parting. You’ll be less attached to them and if you see them again, you’ll appreciate it much more.

Become aware of the smallness of this present moment when you’re reading this. Whoop, and gone. Compare this moment to the whole day, to the whole week, to your whole lifespan. Things change, you change. Imagine all the people who lived before you. And all the people who will follow when you’re gone. Broaden your perspective to the whole history of the human race . . . See? Things come and go. Nothing lasts.

Practice 5 Contemplate Your Own Death “I am not eternal, but a human being; a part of the whole, as an hour is of the day. Like an hour I must come and, like an hour, pass away.” – Epictetus

Consider Everything as Borrowed from Nature “We have no grounds for self-admiration, as though we were surrounded by our own possessions; they have been loaned to us. We may use and enjoy them, but the one who allotted his gift decides how long we are to be tenants; our duty is to keep ready the gifts we have been given for an indefinite time and to return them when called upon, making no complaint: it is a sorry debtor who abuses his creditor.” – Seneca

Think of all you’ve got as borrowed: your best friend, spouse, kids, cat, health, status, car, and laptop. These things have been loaned to you. Be aware of that and anticipate that the lender will want those things back at an unknown time. Then, misfortune will hit you with less force and you’ll be able to deal with it more effectively. In the end, we come with nothing, and go with nothing.

Negative Visualization: Foreseeing Bad Stuff “It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while Fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence. In days of peace the soldier performs maneuvers, throws up earthworks with no enemy in sight, and wearies himself by unnecessary toil, in order that he may be equal when it is necessary. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.” – Seneca

This requires training. The Stoics used negative visualization to train themselves to maintain equanimity and cope well even in challenging situations. They prepared to soften the shock of reality and achieve greater tranquility, but also to rehearse the philosophy’s core principles. To deepen their values.

Think of this thought training as foresight. Before you go out and do something, ask yourself: What could go wrong? What obstacle could pop up? Where could I face difficulties? That’s emotional resilience training. You prepare yourself to face tough situations beforehand,

Voluntary Discomfort “But neither a bull nor a noble-spirited man comes to be what he is all at once; he must undertake hard winter training, and prepare himself, and not propel himself rashly into what is not appropriate to him.” – Epictetus

Prepare Yourself for the Day: The Stoic Morning Routine “When you first rise in the morning tell yourself: I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don’t know the difference between good and evil.” – Marcus Aurelius

Epictetus advises to rehearse the day in the morning, and then review your progress in the evening. At daybreak, we should ask ourselves a few questions: What do I still lack in order to achieve freedom from negative emotions? What do I need to achieve tranquility? What am I? A rational being.

Memento mori (remember you are mortal).

Review Your Day: The Stoic Evening Routine “I make use of this opportunity, daily pleading my case at my own court. When the light has been taken away and my wife has fallen silent, aware as she is of my habit, I examine my entire day, going through what I have done and said. I conceal nothing from myself, I pass nothing by. I have nothing to fear from my errors when I can say: ‘See that you do not do this anymore. For the moment, I excuse you.’” – Seneca

Rehearse your day in the morning, review your progress in the evening. At the end of each day, sit down with your journal and review: What did you do? What did you well? What not so well? How could you improve?

Seneca says if we want our minds to flourish, we must improve by asking questions such as: What bad habit have you put right today? Which fault did you take a stand against? In what respect are you better?

Combined with a morning routine, this is the perfect self-improvement tool: Your mental preparation combined with self-analysis will lead to continuous learning and self-growth. Plus it will make you more mindful of your actions. Personally, I do the good, better, best exercise. I ask myself three simple questions: Good: What did I do well today? Better: How could I improve? What could I do better? Best: What do I need to do if I want to be the best version of myself?

Attention: Always stay kind and forgiving to yourself. Show some self-compassion. You’re trying your best, that’s all you can do. And even if you don’t feel well, that’s normal, everybody struggles and experiences setbacks. Take this to heart: always be kind to yourself. Practice

Keep a Role Model in Mind: Contemplate the Stoic Sage “’We need to set our affections on some good man and keep him constantly before our eyes, so that we may live as if he were watching us and do everything as if he saw what we were doing.’ This . . . is Epicurus’ advice, and in giving it he has given us a guardian and a moral tutor—and not without reason, either:...

Aspiring Stoics are ambitious people and want to express their highest self at all times. One strategy we can use is to contemplate a role model and measure ourselves against it. The Stoics either used Zeus, Socrates, or the ideal S...

Stoic Aphorisms: Keep Your “Weapons” Ready at Hand “Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready too.” – Marcus Aurelius

Focus on your side of the relations to others. It’s possible that you’re a great daughter, but your father isn’t a great father, and he doesn’t play his role well. That has nothing to do with you. You were given this role as a daughter and must play it well. You can only do your side of the relation. That’s enough.

Eliminate the Nonessential “Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’ But we need to eliminate unnecessary assumptions as well. To eliminate the unnecessary actions that follow.” – Marcus Aurelius

Forget Fame “People who are excited by posthumous fame forget that the people who remember them will soon die too. And those after them in turn. Until their memory, passed from one to another like a candle flame, gutters and goes out.” – Marcus Aurelius We’re better off if we’re indifferent to fame and social status. After all, it’s not within our control.

What do others think of us? Not up to us. We must not mistake outward success with what’s truly valuable—patience, confidence, self-control, forgiveness, perseverance, courage, and reason.

Let’s rather focus on what we control—our voluntary behavior. Being the best we can be is what matters. Expressing our highest self in every moment. We shouldn’t seek thanks or recognition for doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is its own reward.

Get satisfaction from being your best. Forget about chasing fame and applause, focus on your virtuous behavior: acting with reason, courage, justice, and self-discipline.

Let’s be indifferent to what others think of us. Let’s be as dismissive of their approval as we are of their disapproval. And let’s focus on where our power lies—our well-intended actions. Doing the right thing is its own reward. Let’s find satisfaction in that.

Like a Minimalist: Live Simple “Is it not madness and the wildest lunacy to desire so much when you can hold so little?” – Seneca

For one thing, we should not get attached to what can be taken away. As Marcus reminds us, “Receive without pride, let go without attachment.”

Attachment

as Epictetus observes, “Freedom is not achieved by satisfying desire, but by eliminating it.”

Take Back Your Time: Cut Out News and Other Timewasters “It is essential for you to remember that the attention you give to any action should be in due proportion to its worth, for then you won’t tire and give up, if you aren’t busying yourself with lesser things beyond what should be allowed.” – Marcus Aurelius

One of the causes of the troubles that beset us is the way our lives are guided by the example of others; instead of being set to rights by reason we’re seduced by convention.”

Use reason rather than convention to choose what to spend your time on. The first thing to cut out is the news.

Become an Eternal Student “Leisure without study is death—a tomb for the living person.” – Seneca

As an avid student, keep in mind two things: 1. Be humble: As Epictetus teaches us, “It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows.” And Marcus adds, “If anyone can prove and show to me that I think and act in error, I will gladly change it—for I seek the truth.” 2. Put it into practice: Don’t be satisfied with mere learning, Epictetus warns us, “For as time passes we forget and end up doing the opposite.” As warriors of the mind, we must go out and actually live out what we’ve learned.

What Do You Have to Show for Your Years? “Nobody works out the value of time: men use it lavishly as if it cost nothing. But if death threatens these same people, you will see them praying to their doctors . . . you will see them prepared to spend their all to stay alive . . . We have to be more careful in preserving what will cease at an unknown point.” – Seneca

We forget we’re mortal. We live as if we’re going to live forever. Until we realize we’re not. And that’s when we wish we had started earlier to actually live. People are prepared to give everything to stay alive. But when they are alive, they squander their time. Unaware that it will cease any moment.

I want to make sure that I can look back and say: “Yes, I made the most of it. I lived well. I savored every drop of my life.” It’s not about trophies and status, but about making progress as a person, growing into a mature human being, thriving in my deep values of calm, patience, justice, kindness, perseverance, humor, courage, and self-discipline.

Do What Needs to Get Done “On those mornings you struggle with getting up, keep this thought in mind—I am awakening to the work of a human being. Why then am I annoyed that I am going to do what I’m made for, the very things for which I was put into this world? Or was I made for this, to snuggle under the covers and keep warm? It’s so pleasurable. Were you then made for pleasure? In short, to be coddled or to exert yourself?” – Marcus Aurelius

They know they’re responsible for their own flourishing and choose to suffer a little every day rather than a lot whenever they realize they’re not making any progress whatsoever. That’s self-discipline. That’s dealing effectively with the negative feelings trying to hold us back. Acknowledge the inner resistance and do it anyway. You’re strong enough to get up in the morning even when tired. You’re disciplined enough to resist that cookie even when attracted. You’re courageous enough to help the stranger even when scared. It’s time to be the person you want to be. Today, not tomorrow. At the end of the day, we get what we deserve. Stop monkeying around, live immediately!

CHAPTER 7 SITUATIONAL PRACTICES: HOW TO DEAL WITH YOURSELF WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH?

As Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Now, as aspiring Stoics, it’s exactly in those moments when we need to remain calm, step back from our impulses, and consciously choose the smartest response. Remember, it’s not what happens to us, but our reactions to it that matter. We get disturbed not by the event itself, but by our interpretation of the event.

Your Judgment Harms You “If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.” – Marcus Aurelius

You are disturbed not by what happens, but by your opinion about it. That’s a classic Stoic principle. Your troubled mind comes from judging an outside event as undesirable or bad. Often in the form of whining, moaning, and complaining about it. Keep that in mind: Nothing but opinion is the cause of a troubled mind.

Harm does not come from what happens—an annoying person or unloved situation—but from your reaction to it. Your harm comes from your belief about the event. So when someone pushes your buttons, it’s no...

It’s your opinion that fuels the negative feelings. Your reaction decides whether harm has occurred or not. Marcus Aurelius says it needs to be this way, because otherwise other people would have power over you. And that’s not in the universe’s intention. ...

Now the next time you’re disturbed by something, remember that it’s your judgment about the situation that hurts you. Try to remove the judgment, and the hurt will vanish, too. Don’t judge the event as good or bad, just take it as it is—and you won’t get harmed.