The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

by Jonas Salzgeber

“He who studies with a philosopher,” Seneca says, “should take away with him some one good thing every day: he should daily return home a sounder man, or in the way to become sounder.”

In Stoicism, what you do with the given circumstances matters much more. Stoics recognized that the good life depends on the cultivation of one’s character, on one’s choices and actions rather than on what happens in the uncontrollable world around us.

“If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” – Marcus Aurelius

No tree becomes deep-rooted and sturdy unless strong winds blow against it. This shaking and pulling is what makes the tree tighten its grip and plant its roots more securely; the fragile trees are those grown in a sunny valley. “Why then,” asks Seneca, “do you wonder that good men are shaken in order that they may grow strong?” Just like for the trees, heavy rain and strong winds are to the advantage of good people, it’s how they may grow calm, disciplined, humble, and strong.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” – Epictetus

eudaimonia is a happy and smoothly flowing life that comes from thriving at bringing our moment-to-moment actions into harmony with our highest self.

“To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.” – Seneca

The Stoics identified strong emotions as our ultimate weakness; especially when we let them dictate our behavior. They’re toxic to eudaimonia and they’re at the root of all human suffering. Unfortunately, according to the Stoics, most of us are enslaved to passions—strong negative emotions such as irrational fear, grief, or anger.

as Seneca puts it, the glitter of gold doesn’t dazzle our eyes more than the flash of a sword, and that we can easily wave aside what other people crave and fear.

It’s beyond the scope of this book to look at the science behind the Stoic ideas, but if you happen to read a book on Positive Psychology, you’ll see the consonance (Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage is a fantastic start.)

Stoicism has nothing to do with suppressing or hiding one’s emotions or being emotionless. Rather, it’s about acknowledging our emotions, reflecting on what causes them, and learning to redirect them for our own good. In other words, it’s more about unslaving ourselves from negative emotions, more like taming rather than getting rid of them.

“No school has more goodness and gentleness; none has more love for human beings.” says Seneca.

What’s tranquility anyway? Seneca talks about the power of euthymia in his classic letters. He tells us that euthymia, which gets translated as tranquility, is all about knowing your path and walking that path.

“I made a prosperous voyage when I suffered shipwreck.” – Zeno of Citium

As Marcus Aurelius later said, “If you must live in a palace, then you can also live well in a palace.”

After the death of Zeno (who, by the way, was so admired by the Athenians that they built a bronze statue of him), Stoicism kept its place as a leading Athenian school of philosophy (alongside others) until 155 BCE, when something very important happened to ancient philosophy—the heads of Stoicism (Diogenes of Babylon) and other schools of philosophy were chosen as ambassadors to represent Athens in political negotiations with Rome, in Rome. While the negotiations are of little interest, the cultural impact this visit had is not. The Athenians gave packed lectures and sparked an interest in philosophy among the rather conservative Romans. Stoicism became a thriving school in Rome with all the famous Stoics whose writings serve as the major source of the philosophy today: Seneca, Musonius Rufus, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius (we’ll get to them shortly.)

The idea of Stoicism, however, found its way into many writings of historical philosophers such as Descartes, Schopenhauer, and Thoreau. And it is finding its way back into the lives of ordinary people like you and me (no offense). This comeback of Stoicism can be traced back to Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy and Albert Ellis’ rational emotive behavior therapy, both of which were influenced by Stoic philosophy. In more recent years, authors such as Pierre Hadot, William Irvine, Donald Robertson, and especially Ryan Holiday have accelerated the return of Stoicism.

Now, we’ll look at the four Roman Stoics whose writings and teachings survived for nearly two millennia and now build the foundation of Stoicism: Seneca, Musonius Rufus, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. It’s said that over a thousand books had been written on Stoic philosophy but only a handful survived—mainly the ones from these luminaries.

Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BCE – 65 CE) “If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” – Seneca

Musonius Rufus (c. 30 CE – c. 100 CE) “Since every man dies, it is better to die with distinction than to live long.” – Musonius Rufus

"Just as there is no use in medical study unless it leads to the health of the human body, so there is no use to a philosophical doctrine unless it leads to the virtue of the human soul."

Epictetus (c. 55 CE – c. 135 CE) “Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” – Epictetus

Discourses—a series of extracts of Epictetus’ lectures.

Marcus Aurelius (121 CE – 180 CE) “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

CHAPTER 3 THE STOIC HAPPINESS TRIANGLE “The blazing fire makes flames and brightness out of everything thrown into it.” – Marcus Aurelius

The Stoic Happiness Triangle in a Nutshell Eudaimonia: At the core of the triangle is eudaimonia—the ultimate goal of life all ancient philosophies agreed on. As touched in Chapter 1, this is the main promise of Stoic philosophy and it’s about living a supremely happy and smoothly flowing life. It’s about thriving in our lives. That’s basically what we all want, to thrive and live happy lives, right? That’s why it’s at the core of the Stoic Happiness Triangle. Do you remember the Greek origin of the word? It means being on good terms (eu) with your inner daimon, your highest self. And how can we achieve this? By living with areté. Live with Areté: Express your highest self in every moment. If we want to be on good terms with our highest self, we need to close the gap between what we’re capable of and what we’re actually doing. This is really about being your best version in the here and now. It’s about using reason in our actions and living in harmony with deep values. This is obviously easier said than done, what supports this ambitious goal is to separate good from bad and focus on what we control. Focus on What You Control: This is the most prominent principle in Stoicism. At all times, we need to focus on the things we control, and take the rest as it happens. What already is has to be accepted because it’s beyond our power to undo it. What’s beyond our power is ultimately not important for our flourishing. What’s important for our flourishing is what we choose to do w...

Live with Areté: Express Your Highest Self in Every Moment “A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness.” – Seneca

areté: “Expressing the highest version of yourself moment to moment to moment.”

As rational and social creatures, we should therefore apply reason and express our highest selves to three main areas of life: Our own mind: As human beings with the ability of reasonable thinking, we should consider our actions rationally and wisely, and at all times try to be the best we can be. With other people: As social beings who naturally care for each other, we should try to live harmoniously with others and contribute to the wellbeing of mankind. In the universe: As citizens of the vast cosmos, we should try to live harmoniously with nature, calmly accept events that happen to us, and try to respond wisely.

wisdom, justice, courage, and self-discipline.

Wisdom is about understanding how to act and feel appropriately. Wisdom includes excellent deliberation, healthy judgment, perspective, and good sense. It opposes the vice of folly or thoughtlessness.

Justice is about knowing how to act and feel well in our relationships with others. Justice includes good-heartedness, integrity, public service, and fairness. It opposes the vice of wrongdoing or injustice. Courage is about knowing how to act and feel correctly when facing fearful situations. Courage includes bravery, perseverance, honesty, and confidence. It opposes the vice of cowardice. Self-Discipline (or temperance) is about knowing how to act and feel right, despite emotions such as strong desire, inner resistance, or lust. Self-discipline includes orderliness, self-control, forgiveness, and humility. It opposes the vice of excess.

Imagine you’re walking barefoot along the beach when suddenly a section is full of bits of broken glass. Now you walk very cautiously and watch every step like a hawk so you don’t hurt yourself—that’s the attention the Stoics want us to pay to every action.

“A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step to salvation,” Seneca says. “You have to catch yourself doing it before you can correct it.”

The positive feelings should be looked at as added bonuses. Virtue must absolutely be its own reward for at least two reasons: The added bonus (e.g., feeling of joy) is not under our control. The added bonus could be caused by other non-virtuous actions.

You should act virtuously because it’s the right thing to do and not because it will benefit you in some way or another.

Marcus Aurelius describes this elegantly in his Meditations.

The Stoic Love of Mankind: Act for the Common Welfare We’re social creatures with a natural affection toward other people. Stoic philosophy is full of goodness, gentleness, love for human beings, and attention to the common good, says Seneca. The goal is to be useful, to help others, and to take care of ourselves and everybody else.

The so-called Stoic dichotomy of control—some things are up to us, other things are not—is really about the recognition of three levels of influence we have over the world: High influence: Our choices in judgments and actions Partial influence: Health, wealth, relationships, and outcomes of our behaviors No influence: Weather, ethnicity, and most external circumstances

The Serenity Prayer, a prayer used by Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery communities, is basically the idea applied in practice: “God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things I can, And the Wisdom to know the difference.”

The Stoic Archer: Focus on the Process

Stoics advised to focus on what we control, and let the rest happen as it will.

In modern times, we call this process focus—to focus on the process (under our control), instead of the desired outcome (not under our control). In archery, the desired outcome is to hit the target, but that’s not where the focus should lie because it’s beyond our control. It’s smarter to focus on the process that will optimally lead to the desired outcome. The Stoics realized that the process will affect the outcome. The process is about our behavior, deliberate practice, and all that prepares us to shoot well.

So the Stoic archer focuses on the process (preparing and shooting well); a possible positive outcome (hitting the target) won’t arouse jubilation, and a possible negative outcome (missing the target) won’t arouse despair.

This focus on the process, focus on what you control idea, is a massive confidence booster.

It’s only if you know you haven’t done everything in your power that you will feel insecure and must justify yourself. That’s the dark gap between what you’re actually doing and what you’re capable of doing, as discussed earlier.

Stoic Acceptance: Enjoy the Ride or Get Dragged Along

“Suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens,” explains Dan Millman in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior.

We must have it our way, the way we want it, the way we expected it to be.