The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

by Jonas Salzgeber

So, instead of being angry all the time and torment the lives of those around you, why not “make yourself a person to be loved by all while you live and missed when you have made your departure?” Seneca asks.

Practice 25 Beat Fear with Preparation and Reason

“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” – Seneca

What we fear will often not happen in reality. But our imaginary fear ...

We fear because we want what’s outside our power, or we’re too attached to something that’s not in our power to keep. We’re attached to people we love and fear losing them. We’re attached to the security of a regular salary. And we desire what’s not in our power to receive.

He who does not desire anything outside his control cannot be anxious.

“The man who has anticipated the coming of troubles takes away their power when they arrive,” says Seneca.

Anticipating calamities is not about ruining the present moment, but optimizing it.

Practice 26 Blame Your Expectations

“The cucumber is bitter? Then throw it out. There are brambles in the path? Then go around them. That’s all you need to know. Nothing more. Don’t demand to know ‘why such things exist.’ Anyone who understands the world will laugh at you, just as a carpenter would if you seemed shocked at finding sawdust in his workshop, or a shoemaker at scraps of leather left over from work.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Remember,” says Marcus Aurelius, “you shouldn’t be surprised that a fig tree produces figs, nor the world what it produces. A good doctor isn’t surprised when his patients have fevers, or a helmsman when the wind blows against him.”

Practice 27 Pain and Provocation: Great Opportunities for Virtue

“For every challenge, remember the resources you have within you to cope with it. Provoked by the sight of a handsome man or a beautiful woman, you will discover within you the contrary power of self-restraint. Faced with pain, you will discover the power of endurance. If you are insulted, you will discover patience. In time, you will grow to be confident that there is not a single impression that you will not have the moral means to tolerate.” – Epictetus

“Disease is an impediment to the body, but not to the will, unless the will itself chooses,” explains Epictetus. “Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to the will.”

Marcus agrees, “Who is there to prevent you from being good and sincere?” We have the inborn power to choose our actions and craft our character. “So display those virtues which are wholly in your own power—integrity, dignity, hard work, self-denial, contentment, frugality, kindness, independence, simplicity, discretion, magnanimity.”

Let’s remind ourselves that every minor accident that happens to us presents an opportunity to practice virtuous behavior. Every headache is a chance not to curse. Every attractive person is a chance for self-restraint. Every annoying person is a chance for patience, kindness, and forgiveness. Every challenging situation is a chance for perseverance and hard-work.

Practice 28 The Equanimity Game “When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self-control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help. Habitual recurrence to the harmony will increase your mastery of it.” – Marcus Aurelius

Practice 29 The Anti-Puppet Mindset “If a person gave away your body to some passersby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled—have you no shame in that?” – Epictetus

Avoid rashness, stay calm, and you won’t get jerked around like a puppet.

Practice 30 Life Is Supposed to Be Challenging “Difficulties show a person’s character. So when a challenge confronts you, remember that God is matching you with a younger sparring partner, as would a physical trainer. Why? Becoming an Olympian takes sweat! I think no one has a better challenge than yours, if only you would use it like an athlete would that younger sparring partner.” – Epictetus

This is what we’re here for, say the Stoics. Life is supposed to be hard.

The question is not if life will throw some punches at you, but when. And how you’ll respond to it.

Practice 31 What’s so Troublesome Here and Now?

“Do not let the panorama of your life oppress you, do not dwell on all the various troubles which may have occurred in the past or may occur in the future. Just ask yourself in each instance of the present: ‘What is there in this work which I cannot endure or support?’” – Marcus Aurelius

The struggle is this: We get carried away by our thoughts about the past or future.

Seneca: “Wild beasts run away from dangers when they see them. Once they have escaped, they are free of anxiety. But we are tormented by both the future and the past.” The present

If you’re able to focus on the present moment, and look at it in an isolated way, then these challenging moments will suddenly become easier to endure and deal with. It’ll be easier to accept them as they are, and focus on what you can do right now to improve your situation, to make the best out of it. One tiny step at a time. The better you become at retrieving your focus into the present moment, the more mindful you’ll become of your moment to moment actions, and the closer you’ll get to express your highest self.

Marcus Aurelius says that all you’ll ever need is: Certainty of judgment in the present moment: What does the situation look like objectively? Acceptance of external events in the present moment: Accept and be content with what’s out of control. Action for the common good in the present moment: What’s the best action I can take right now?

Practice 32 Count Your Blessings

“Don’t set your mind on things you don’t possess as if they were yours, but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours. But watch yourself, that you don’t value these things to the point of being troubled if you should lose them.” – Marcus Aurelius

Don’t forget to be thankful for what you have—even in the face of adversity.

Marcus reminds us here of three things: Material things are not important, don’t gather and hoard that stuff. Be grateful for all you have. Be careful not to get attached to those things.