Minimum Wage Magic (DFZ, #1)

by Rachel Aaron

“The Gnarls are why the Wandering Cathedral wanders. If you want to reach them, just turn around and walk out. The ticket you bought is good for one round trip, so don’t lose it, or you’ll never come back.”

This had been very educational. “Helpful” was still up in the air, but at least I no longer felt like I was flying blind

“It’s that way.” “You sure?” “I have no idea, but the hand is absolutely positive. The thing we’re looking for is two point three kilometers in that direction.” I gave him a puzzled look. “Breaking out the metric now?” “It’s not my fault,” he said angrily, shaking Dr. Lyle’s hand. “It’s this stupid thing. It wants me to be precise, and it thinks metric is the superior system.” “Well, to be fair, it is,” I agreed. “But I thought that hand didn’t have an interface you could communicate with?” “So did I,” Nik growled. “But apparently it doesn’t need words to make its opinion known now that we’re used to each other.” I couldn’t help myself. “So you’re saying you can talk to the hand?” The look Nik gave me then was absolutely scalding, but I didn’t regret a thing. No matter how serious the situation, a good pun is never a waste.

To my enormous surprise, Sibyl’s signal wasn’t bad down here. In hindsight, it made sense that wireless internet would be part of the DFZ’s heart—she was a modern city, after all—but

But though he’d outmaneuvered, outgunned, and outmaged me in every possible way, there was still one place where I was still champion. One thing no one could beat me at. I could outcrazy anybody. “Opal,” Sibyl whispered in my ear. “Opal, don’t!” Opal did.

“But why me?” I asked. “I’m in this for the money too.” “No, you’re not,” Dr. Lyle said, looking at me as if I was being very silly. “If you were in this for money, you would have taken Kauffman’s first buyout. You wouldn’t have kept going after they shot at you or blown yourself up just to spite Kauffman. Money’s worthless if you’re dead, and yet you keep risking your life over and over, being more and more reckless. That’s how I knew money wasn’t the point in your case. It’s just a tool to get what you really want.” That was a lot more information about me than I was comfortable with a dead guy I’d never technically met knowing. “And what do you think I want?” He smiled. “Freedom.”

“You convinced a god?” I said, shocked. “For me?” “No, I did it for me,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, you seem like a very nice girl, but I’m not risking my immortal soul for someone I’ve never met. I’m doing it because you’re one of the few people left who knows who I am. And of those few, you’re the only one with the skills and mindset necessary to save my life’s work. That I would gladly die for as many times as it takes.”

The only person who wasn’t in the same place was Kauffman. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been shoving me off his spellworked rock. Now he was splayed on his back in the grass behind Nik with his face battered, his eyes closed, and his body very, very still. “What happened to him?” “I did,” Nik said. I cringed at the naked violence in his voice, and Nik stuck his chin out stubbornly. “He pushed you into the void.” “Um, well, thanks for avenging me,” I said awkwardly. “Is he…?” “He’s still alive,” Nik said darkly. “I’m not letting him off that easy after all the trouble he’s caused.

“You nearly cooked yourself earlier. Should you really be using more magic now?” “No,” I said. “But I didn’t come all this way just to look at it.”

When Sibyl started to lecture me about the dire ramifications of what I was doing, I shook my goggles off my head onto the ground behind me. I knew she was right, I just didn’t want to hear it. What I wanted, what I needed was under this lid. It wasn’t that I didn’t care if I broke my magic—I cared enormously, so much so that I nearly dropped the power because my hands were shaking so badly—I just cared about my freedom more. I’d fought too hard and given too much already to lose at the last inch,

I understood now what Dr. Lyle had meant when he’d said that without my help, he’d have committed great evil. He’d known what kind of man Kauffman was, but he’d still agreed to work for him because he’d needed the funding. He hadn’t truly realized what he was attempting, what it meant to create life. By the time he did understand what Kauffman intended to do with his work, it was too late. The eggs were already made. All he could do was run away and try to protect the creatures he’d created from the man he’d so foolishly sold them to. But then he’d died. He’d died alone, with no one even knowing where his babies were. No wonder he’d been desperate enough to accept the dubious help of a pair of money-hungry Cleaners, but at least I understood now why he’d been so adamant about not selling to Kauffman. This wasn’t like selling unfertilized eggs to mages. It wasn’t even like selling normal animals to be pets or even to the slaughterhouse. At least there, death was quick. If we gave the chicks to Kauffman, we’d be condemning them to slavery in an arena. It wasn’t a question of if they would suffer. Their suffering was the point. It was the entertainment. They would be playthings, toys for cruel masters who put their backs against the wall for sport, and while there was a world of difference between our situations, I had some mighty strong opinions about that. “We’re not selling them to you.”

“You know how bad I need this cash, but this is wrong, Nik.” “So’s everything else we do,” Nik said. “You didn’t complain when I shot those men. Or when we stole a hand from the morgue.” “I actually complained a lot about that last one,” I reminded him. “But this is different. Everyone does bad things. Some of us do a lot of them, but there has to be a line.” I held up the baby cockatrice, which was currently chewing a hole through my supposedly indestructible gloves. “You heard what he said. These things are near-human-level intelligent. They love, they fear, they grieve.” I pointed into the glowing pit behind him. “There are a hundred innocent babies down there. It doesn’t matter if they were made by magic or hatched by a toad. They don’t deserve to be slaves who suffer for ticket sales. Yeah, seven million is a lot, but it’s nothing compared to what he’s asking you to give up in return. What’s the point of money if you have to sell your soul to get it?”

“I’m not judging you,” I said. “Maybe I did before, but now I know that I was wrong. You’re not a bad person, Nik, and that’s why we can’t do this. Because if you take that money, you will be.”

“I thought you were willing to do anything to get free of your dad. Why did we go through all of this if you’re just going to throw in the towel now that we’re finally at the end?” “Because I was willing to do anything to me!” I yelled. “I’m the one who’s trapped, but just because I’m willing to gnaw my arm off to get free doesn’t mean I’m willing to gnaw off someone else’s! If the cost of my freedom is selling babies into slavery, then it’s not freedom at all. I’m just trading one prison for another. A worse one, because I can hate my dad all day long, but I’m not willing to hate myself.”

“What does he mean by that?” I asked. Nik turned away. “Nothing a rich girl would understand.” “Of course I can’t understand if you won’t tell me,” I said angrily, smacking my hand against his metal chest. “But you keep saying ‘rich girl’ like it means ignorant, and that’s as stupid as it is wrong. It’s because I’ve been rich that I understand what money can’t do. I’ve lived the luxury of never having to worry about food or clothes or if I could pay a bill, and I threw it away because the price of having all that wealth was giving up something I was worthless without. That doesn’t mean I don’t like money. I want to be rich just as much as you do! That’s why I bust my butt as a Cleaner, but I also know that money isn’t everything. I know this, because I tried to buy freedom and integrity and love, and I couldn’t. But while you can’t buy them, you can absolutely sell them. That’s why I’m fighting you so hard on this. You’re about to sell something that money can’t buy. That’s a bad deal, Nik, and I’d be a worthless business partner if I let you take it.”

“Do you really think you’re not for sale? You?” “I’m always for sale,” Nik snapped back. “But not to him.”

“Hoo boy,” Sibyl said as I selected the number from my contacts list. “Your dad is not going to like this.” “Since when has that stopped me?”

“I still hate that I lost the money,” he warned. “I’m going to be mad about that for a very long time. But that’s the nature of opportunity cost. Sometimes you have to give up one thing to get something else.”

“I’ve given up a lot of things I shouldn’t for money,” he said, his voice quiet, as if he was talking to himself. “What happened in that cistern has happened before. Never for that much, of course, but same basic situation. All the other times, I chose the money, and every single time, I regretted it. Not right away. Sometimes not for years. But sooner or later, I always missed what I’d sold, and I couldn’t get it back.” I twisted my hands in my lap. “I—” “But this time was different,” he went on. “This time, you were there. And while I’m regretting the hell out of my choice right now, I think I’ll feel different in the long run, which is the run that matters.”

Then, to my absolute mortification, I started to cry. “What?” Nik said, looking at me in horror. “What did I say?” “Nothing,” I said, scrubbing at my face. “It’s me. It’s all me, not you. I just…I thought you were going to hate me, and I’m so relieved that you don’t.” “How could I hate you?” he said, his voice frustrated. “You were just trying to help me. I’m mad at you, but it’ll pass.” “I can accept that,” I said, giving him a watery smile.

Kauffman must have brought in the same guys who’d destroyed Dr. Lyle’s house, because everything that could be broken had been. They’d even taken the time to rip open every single paper cup in my Cup Noodle stash, which was just petty. If I hadn’t been about to be kidnapped back home, I would have flown into a rage. As it was, all I could do was sigh. “Please punch Kauffman a lot for me.” “I will,” Nik promised,

Curse or no curse, I’m not giving up. I’m going to pay you back in full, and then we never have to see each other again.” My father’s hand clenched, his pale, elegant, claw-like nails shredding the money I’d handed him into confetti. I flinched at the soft sound of ripping paper, but when I looked up again, he wasn’t staring down at me in fury. He just looked sad. So, so sad, like that money had been his heart, and I, not him, was the one who’d torn it to shreds. “Why are you doing this, Opal?” he asked quietly. “Why will you not come home?”

Maybe he does, in his own draconic way, care?

“Have I not been a good provider? Have I not given you everything you could want?” “You never gave me what I wanted,” I told him bitterly. “You gave me what you wanted. You gave me a handcrafted Steinway baby grand piano for my twelfth birthday. I don’t even play!” “You could have learned,” he said, the horrible sadness falling off his face as the much more familiar anger pushed its way to the fore. “I will not apologize for being generous. And as to your wants, I have done nothing but cater to them for the last four years. I have let you run positively wild, and you have made an absolute mess of it. I just had a call from the Peacemaker—the insane Dragon of Detroit himself!—that my daughter was running around in the Gnarls with injuries. Do you have any concept of how badly that reflects on me?” “On you?” I cried. “I was the one who was hurt!” “Because of your recklessness!” he yelled back. “You care more for the well-being of the criminal who was just here than you do for your own. But you are my Opal! My treasure! I would never allow anyone to treat my property as shoddily as you have treated yourself.”

Nevermind. It's his own projected narcissism.

“I’ve been paying attention. I know exactly how dirty you’re willing to fight now, but you should know better than anyone that I will never give up. Curses, debts, hacking my AI, that’s just you showing how desperate you’re getting, which means I must be closer to winning than ever. And I will win, even if I have to break everything to do it.” By the time I finished, my dad was staring at me like he’d never seen me before. “You selfish, foolish child,” he whispered, reaching out to touch my face. “You don’t even know what you’re stomping on.” “Neither do you,” I said, ducking away from his touch.

“Never,” he swore. “Where do you think you learned not to quit? I will never stop chasing you, little dog girl. Not until you are safely back at my feet where you belong.”

Yikes 🤮

And when I dreamed, I dreamed of the brief, happy time when I’d been young enough to confuse presents with love and my father had been my world.

Awww 😭