Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

by Thomas Erikson

Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas.

By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.

You help other people understand you by creating a secure arena for communication—on their terms.

Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s needs is what characterizes a good communicator.

“We see what we do, but we do not see why we do what we do. Thus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do.”

The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you.

BEHAVIOR = f (P × Sf) Behavior is a function of Personality and Surrounding factors. Behavior is that which we can observe. Personality is what we try to figure out. Surrounding factors are things that we have an influence on.

Conclusion: We continually affect one another in some form or other. The trick is to try to figure out what’s there, under the surface. And this book is all about behavior.

They are so driven that they will get through despite any obstacle in their path. Their disposition is ideal in competitive situations. It’s not unusual for a CEO or a president to have lots of Red in his behavior. This form of competition is present in everything Reds do. To say that they constantly want to challenge and compete is probably not entirely true, but if a chance of winning something arises—why not? The exact nature of the competition is unimportant; it’s the competitive element that keeps Reds running on all cylinders.

Something is always happening in the lives of Red people. They can’t sit still. Idle time is wasted time. Life is short; better get going immediately. Do you recognize the type? Always on the go. So step aside; let’s get cracking!

I call this phenomenon slog or split. If the task is important enough, a Red will go through fire and water to complete it. If he feels it has no purpose, into the trash it goes.

Red, this is all natural because he sees himself as a winner.

Before you conclude that this guy sounds rather unsympathetic, we need to look at his intentions. This kind of intensive and competitive behavior often upsets other people because they think it is all about dominating and suppressing others. Nothing could be further from the truth. His intentions were almost never malicious. He just wanted to win.

When other people may find it difficult to make a decision, Reds are prepared to make quick decisions in order to keep things moving. With a Red on the team, nothing will be discussed ad infinitum. After all, it’s always better to do something rather than nothing, right?

But a Red detests inactivity. Things must happen. Add to this a sense of constant urgency, and a great deal will get done.

Nothing is impossible. The impossible just takes a little longer. More than likely it was a Red who came up with that expression.

A Red can, in fact, be quite unassuming. It’s true that he has a strong ego, but status and prestige don’t have the same importance as with other colors. The reason is simple: A Red usually doesn’t care what others think. He’s not here for their sake—he’s here for his own.

Because she sounded so convincing! Her facial expression was definite; her countenance was determined, and her voice did not quiver in the least when she presented her figures.

That’s the way Reds function. When they believe something, they let people know that this is the only truth that exists. Now maybe there are some sticklers for detail who might claim that this is deceptive, since we now know that the company earned $2.5 million a week and not roughly $50 million. But I’m convinced that Elisabeth really believed what she said. She had things turned around, no doubt about that, and she was certainly not interested in details. But my point is that by sounding utterly confident when she declared that the company was earning six months’ revenue—per week—we all fell for it.

There are two ways to do this—my way and ...

A Red doesn’t try to stick to his original point of view when he realizes that a better solution exists. He is a quick thinker and has no problem shifting his ground at short notice. One of the advantages of this is that he doesn’t reject other people’s ideas if he has none himself. It’s worth looking into anything that can propel development forward.

In the Hippocratic world, we have now come to the sanguine person. What other words can be used to describe him? Optimistic and cheerful, a person with a bright outlook on life. The thesaurus even suggests the epithet a man of possibilities … how about that? It is, in fact, an excellent description of Yellow behavior. These are people who live to live, always finding opportunities for enjoyment. Life is a banquet, and Yellows will see to it that they savor every bite. They are driven by merriment and laughter. And why not? The sun is always shining somewhere.

Recognizing a Yellow is easy. He’s the one who’s talking all the time. He’s the one who gives answers rather than asking questions—often answering questions that no one has even asked. He answers a question by telling a story that may or may not have anything to do with the issue. But it really doesn’t matter, because he will put you in a cheerful mood. Besides, his unshakably positive attitude also makes it impossible for you to feel upset for long.

They are also very typically touchy-feely people. Like Reds, Yellows are very willing to make quick decisions, but they can rarely explain why using rational reasoning. A more likely response would be, “It just felt right.” And sure, gut feelings shouldn’t be underestimated. Studies have shown that gut feelings are right more often than we think. But that’s not the kind of gut feeling we’re talking about here. Yellows often make decisions that are based on feeling simply because no thought was ever involved.

Yellows can talk to anyone. They are not at all shy, perceiving most people they meet as pleasant. They even see strangers in a positive light—they’re just friends you haven’t met yet. Many people notice that Yellows are always smiling and laughing. That’s undoubtedly one of a Yellow’s strengths. Their optimism is invincible.

If there is anything that characterizes Yellow behavior, it’s unlimited optimism and enthusiasm. Few things can keep their good mood away for long. The Yellows’ entire being is concentrated on one thing—finding opportunities and solutions.

In his day, Hippocrates called Yellows the sanguine ones. This simply means optimists. Nothing is really a problem. It will all sort itself out. It’s neither here nor there that the world just happens to be full of worries and hardships.

You won’t find anyone more resourceful than a Yellow. If there is anything Yellows have an aptitude for, it’s seeing solutions where others do not. Yellows have the unique ability to twist and turn things. To put it simply, they turn everything upside down and think outside the box. Call it what you want, but their thinking doesn’t always follow any set pattern.

They move quickly: The Yellow’s intellect is very fast, which means that it can be difficult to keep up. Sometimes they can even find it difficult to explain their wild ideas.

Yellows are also helped by the fact that they rarely have any limitations. A Yellow dares to go beyond the usual conventions when he’s in a creative mode. Normally, of course, structure and hierarchy in a business are a kind of limitation, but Yellows are rarely concerned about such things. In fact, they often don’t seem to know that such limitations are there.

With all their energy and optimism, Yellows are very persuasive. It’s easy for them to get carried away, seeing opportunities and solutions where others might only see a dead end. It’s often said that there is a difference between convincing and persuading, and many Yellows cross these boundaries. But what they say sounds so good. With the help of language, they really are masters at winning over people to their side.

Without even knowing it, many Yellows are skilled rhetoricians. They know instinctively that their ethos, the bearer of the message, is just as important as the message itself. Therefore, they are mindful of getting through to you as an individual—usually by being friendly and shaking your hand; making small personal comments; making you feel important. Many politicians are phenomenal at this—think of Bill Clinton, for instance. He has the kind of charisma that is naturally present in many Yellows—a noticeable interest in another person, the ability to ask exactly the right questions so that others feel that they are important.

The Yellow traits are inspirational. They inspire those around them, and the best way to achieve this is through building relationships. A Yellow knows that by far the most important factor in business, for example, is relationships. If your customer doesn’t feel positively about you, it will be difficult to make any headway.

Yellows know everyone. They have more acquaintances than everyone else. They like everyone. A Yellow doesn’t need to know a person very well before calling him his friend. Anyone who doesn’t actively dislike them they consider to be a pal. Remember that when Reds ask what is going to be done, Yellows want to know immediately who will do it. This question is crucial for Yellows. If the team or group does not function smoothly, a Yellow will not feel well. He needs functioning relationships for him to come into his own.

The Green person is the most common. You’ll meet him virtually everywhere. What’s the easiest way to explain who he is? Well, I would like to describe him as being the average of all the other colors. Please don’t interpret that as something negative; keep in mind what this truly implies. While Reds are stressed performance seekers, Yellows are creative bon vivant guys, and Blues are perfectionist Knights of Excel Spreadsheets (see pages 13 and 14), Greens are the most balanced. They counterbalance the other more extreme behavioral traits in an elegant way. Hippocrates called them phlegmatic people. The Aztecs called them earth people. Calm, leisurely, and easygoing are some words that could also describe them.

It’s just a matter of stating the facts—not everyone can or should be extreme; otherwise, we would never get anything done. If everyone were a driven leader, there would be no one left to be led. If everyone were an enthusiastic entertainer, there would be no one to amuse. And if everyone were a detail-oriented perfectionist, there wouldn’t be anything to keep in order.

This means that Greens don’t stick out in the same way as others do and they often lend serenity to a situation. Where Reds and Yellows start off in top gear, Greens are significantly calmer. And where Blues get caught up...

For this very reason, they are easy to deal with. They let you be yourself. They don’t demand much, and they never kick up a fuss unnecessarily. Children with Green features are usually described as being little angels. They eat when they’re supposed to; they sleep when they’re supposed to; they do their homework when they’re supposed to.

This is a typical Green trait. They are very tolerant towards other people’s more singular behavior. Is the picture becoming clearer? Greens are the people you might not think about—most of us, that is.

Green people are kindness personified. You can expect a helping hand whenever you need it. They are pronounced relational people who will do everything within their power to save your relationship. And they will invest lifelong. They will keep track of when your birthday is, when your partner’s birthday is, when your children’s birthdays are, et cetera. It wouldn’t surprise me if they even know when your cat first saw the light of day.

It’s often said that Greens are the best listeners, and this is true. A Green will always be more interested in you than in himself, and if perchance he should be interested in himself he would never dream of showing it. You often find Greens in the public sector, where they help others, with no concern for personal gain.

Change isn’t their greatest strength, even though change isn’t completely foreign to them. If you can simply justify the change and give him enough time, even a Green will be prepared to try new things. But a Green will remind you that you always know what you have, but you never know what you might end up with. The grass is not automatically greener on the other side, so to speak.

As I’ve already said, these are naturally friendly people. When they tell you that they sincerely care about how you’re doing, you can trust that they lie awake sleepless for your sake. Just like Yellows, Greens are relationship people and their interest in others is genuine and authentic.

If a Green says that he will do something, you can be confident that he’ll do it. If it’s in his power to deliver, he will. It won’t be done in the shortest amount of time possible, but it will show up in your in-box roughly within the expected time frame. Greens don’t want to be caught failing to deliver, as this might cause trouble for others. And because they’re good team players, they don’t want to do anything that can cause problems for the team. Team comes before self, the team being the company, crew, football team, or family. For the Green, it’s natural to look after everyone else around them.

The reason why everyone works so well with Greens is a topic for debate. In some situations, it’s simply because they don’t like conflict. Mostly, however, it’s because they’re controlled by their desire to make those around them happy and satisfied. If they can please you with a job well done, they’ll do it. The desire to please others verges on being a driving force for Greens. It comes naturally and requires no effort. And this selflessness is accompanied by an exalted serenity that lowers the stress level of those around them.

You can always count on a Green person. In some organizations, it’s a requirement to have reliable employees. Creativity and ingenuity are not at the top of the wish list: In short, you simply need people who understand the job and get it done without a lot of fuss or drama. Then you hire Greens. They constitute the stable core who will do the job well. They don’t have problems taking orders—as long as the orders are formulated in an appealing fashion. Greens enjoy stability and a certain predictability in the workplace. Or in the home. Or with the family. Just about everywhere.

Reds, who never listen to the whole message, just rush off to do what they believe needs to be done. Unless, of course, they’re busy yelling at the management because they don’t agree with their decisions. Yellows start wild discussions and inform absolutely everyone about their take on what happened. Instead of working, they’ll debate the news until it’s time to leave the office. Blues will sit at their desks and begin the bureaucratic paperwork, formulating half a million questions that no one knows the answers to yet. Greens? They just murmur. If the management has avoided seriously sabotaging their sense of security, they’ll trundle on without complaining. There’s no point in making a lot of fuss and bother about it. Might as well keep doing what you were before. This, in fact, makes things much easier. We’ll get to how we help Greens to change direction, but they’re great at keeping calm and carrying on.

You’ll always know how a Green will respond to some questions because he doesn’t change his opinion very often.

For every Green, the group will always come first. Team before self. Remember that. This is a fundamental truth for a Green, and it shouldn’t be challenged too strongly. The working group, the team, the club, and the family—all these different groups are important for a Green. He often disregards his own needs if the group gets what it needs.

They say Greens are introverts, that is, that they’re active in their inner world. This means that they don’t talk just for the sake of talking. When you are quieter than those around you, it’s natural that you listen. And Greens will listen. They are interested in you and your ideas.