Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

by Thomas Erikson

Unlike Reds, who only listen when there is something to be gained from it, or Yellows, who usually don’t listen at all (although they will normally deny this fact), Greens hear what you’re actually saying. They have a genuine ear for human problems. They might not offer any suggestions or solutions, but they understand what you’ve told them. Don’t assume that means that they agree with you—but they are good listeners.

You just have to give up, boys. This guy simply knows everything. He doesn’t make a big deal about it, but his way of presenting facts makes it difficult for you to call them into question. He knows where he found the info and can go fetch the book to prove it. That’s the way it is with Blues. They know how things stand before they open their mouth. They’ve Googled, read the owner’s manual, and checked the dictionary—and afterwards they present a report in full.

How can a know-it-all be unassuming? It’s impressively modest to avoid making a fuss, even if you know everything. It’s rare that a wholly Blue person would feel the need to stand on the rooftops or to toot his own horn in order to make it clear to the world who the real expert is. It’s usually sufficient that you, the Blue, are clear about who knows best.

There’s also no need to cheer, applaud, or call a Blue up to the podium when he’s done something tremendous in an amazing way. Sure, it doesn’t really do any harm to cheer. He’ll just nod, accept the praise and the prize check, and then return to his desk, where he’ll continue working on the next project. But he may well wonder what the fuss was really all about—he was only doing his job.

A Blue can rarely get too many facts or have too many pages of fine print. People say that God is in the details, and I can imagine that it was a Blue who first said that. No detail is too small to be noticed. Cutting corners is simply not an option for a Blue.

It doesn’t work like that. Tell a Blue that he can ignore the details of the new contract and skip the last thirty paragraphs—there’s nothing important in that bit—and he’ll stare at you very attentively and wonder about your mental capabilities. As usual, he won’t necessarily say anything. He’ll just completely ignore what you said. He would rather burn the midnight oil checking all the facts of the case than miss the slightest detail.

The first time we met, he deposited me in a specific chair by a specific corner at the visitors’ desk. He didn’t ask if I had any difficulty getting there—which I did; the address was totally impossible—he offered neither coffee nor tea. He didn’t smile when he greeted me. He examined my business card very carefully. After going through the company’s needs, I explained that I would go back to my office to put a quote together. Once back at my desk, I brooded about how I should go about it. Normally, my proposals were ten to twelve pages long, but I knew that wouldn’t be sufficient in this case. Instead, I put my nose to the grindstone and wrote over thirty-five pages.

A common misconception is that Blues are unable to make decisions, but that’s not the case. It wasn’t that this CEO was pushing the decision into sometime in the future or that he couldn’t decide. He simply had no need to decide. For him, the process leading up to the decision was significantly more interesting. And he just wondered if there was any more material.

The preceding example also illustrates another important characteristic Blue behavior. They’re generally very cautious. They often think safety first. Where a Red or Yellow would take a wild chance, a Blue will hold off and consider everything one more time. There may be more factors to take into account, right? You need to get to the bottom of things before you act.

Things can’t be allowed to go wrong. That’s all there is to it. Quality is all that matters. When a Blue individual thinks his work runs the risk of being shoddy or low quality, things come to a standstill. Everything must be checked out. Why has the quality declined?

My point is this: A Blue is prepared to dive deep to get everything exactly 100 percent correct. Blues argue that if they’re going to do something, they must do it correctly. And vice versa—if a task isn’t worth being done properly, then it’s not worth doing at all. Furthermore, because Blues usually find it difficult to lie, they will always point out the defects they uncover—even defects that may reflect poorly on them.

He didn’t understand the problem. As a very honorable and honest person, he couldn’t hide the faults he knew were there. He could live with the fact that we rarely made a huge profit on those deals. He’d been honest about the house, because that’s how it should be done.

Logical and rational thinking is critical to a Blue. Out with all the feelings (as much as possible) and in with logic. Of course, Blues can’t turn off their feelings completely—no one can—but they like to say they use rational arguments when making decisions. They value logical thinking highly, but they can very easily become depressed when things don’t go their way. And depression has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with feelings.

The great value of this approach is obvious. He will never be fooled; he will always get what he paid for. It gives him an inner peace because he knows he has checked everything out very accurately.

Quiet on the outside, but under the surface anything could be happening. “Introverted” doesn’t mean silent; it means active in the inner world. But the effect of this is often quiet.

So why are they so silent? Among other things, it’s because they, unlike Yellows, don’t feel the need to be heard. Sitting in a corner and not being seen or heard makes no difference to them. They are observers, spectators, more than central characters. They can find themselves at the edge of a group where they observe and record everything that is said. And don’t forget this: According to a Blue’s values, being silent is something positive. If you have nothing to say—keep quiet.

A wise person once said that “just because you’re right, I don’t have to be wrong.” We also tend to pay special attention to the faults and shortcomings of others.

On the other hand, when we think someone is an idiot is it really because of their faults and shortcomings or have we failed to understand them? An attribute that may be useful in some situations is unsuitable in others. It’s important to remember that communication usually takes place on the recipient’s terms. Whatever people’s judgment of me may be, that is the way they perceive me. Regardless of what I really meant or intended. As always, it’s all about self-awareness. Good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances, no matter what the quality is.

Reds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed. They make things happen. However, when they get going, they become control freaks and can be hopeless to deal with. And they repeatedly trample on people’s toes.

Yellows can be amusing, creative, and elevate the mood regardless of who they’re with. However, when they are given unlimited space, they will consume all the oxygen in the room, they won’t allow anyone into a conversation, and their stories will reflect reality less and less.

The friendly Greens are easy to hang out with because they are so pleasant and genuinely care for others. Unfortunately, they can be too wishy-washy and unclear. Anyone who never takes a stand eventually becomes difficult to handle. You don’t know where...

The analytical Blues are calm, levelheaded, and think before they speak. Their ability to keep a cool head is undoubtedly an enviable quality for all who aren’t capable of doing that. However, Blues’ critical thinking can easily turn to suspicion and questi...

One thing I know for sure regarding the different colors is that each color evaluates themselves in different ways. Reds and Yellows tend to inflate their strengths and believe that they have no weaknesses. They have powerful egos, and a great part of their success can probably be attributed to the fact that they don’t get bogged down in faults and shortcomings but instead look for opportunities and good news. Clearly, this can’t be maintained over time.

Conversely, Greens and Blues usually exaggerate their weaknesses and in certain cases even ignore their strengths. The consequences are clear. When you give positive feedback to a Green or a Blue, they sometimes appear to be immune to it and change the subject to something that went seriously wrong. Obviously, this is highly unproductive.

You’ve heard him say that he wants to hear the truth. Over the years, he’s bellowed into our ears “Say what you think!” But as soon as you do, you find yourself in the middle of a heated discussion with an angry Red. This means that what you are going to read now will often be completely new for many Reds. Not many of us have ever been able to make these points to a Red before. It takes way too much energy.

Some people say that Reds are just belligerent, arrogant, and egotistical. They are perceived as unyielding, impatient, aggressive, and controlling.

First of all, let me say this: Nothing said previously would necessarily bother a Red, because he is more task oriented than relationship oriented. Besides, everyone else is wrong.

Well, what can you say? A person willing to step outside any regulatory framework to get ahead is nothing if not impatient. When the usual official channels take too long, a Red will scale over a few levels of decision makers and expeditiously look for the person who really calls the shots.

This story illustrates quite clearly how Red behavior works. They know just as well as everyone else that it’s wrong to break the rules; however, since it’s quicker that way, they do it anyway. Reds are notorious rule breakers. Once again, I would like to remind you of their intentions—to get the job done.

Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts, as long as it’s about getting things done. With such a generous approach to regulations and rules, you’ll definitely arrive faster. I would even say that a Red is often so fast that if something were to go wrong he would still manage to redo the project. At the same time, no one else ever really knows what’s going to happen.

Because the way Reds communicate is so blunt and so direct, many perceive them as aggressive. This is logical, but at the same time this perception varies, depending on who becomes the victim of the Red’s forceful points of view.

We want to have open and forthright dialogue. That’s excellent; for any organization to be efficient, it’s necessary to have straightforward communication about things that are important.

Besides Reds, of course. For them, this is a nonissue. “Why are we even talking about communication? It’s obvious that you say what you think!” Many people find this stressful; to constantly have the truth pushed into your face can be onerous if you have difficulty taking it.

“Say exactly what you think,” you said. It’s possible you even added: “I won’t be angry/ sad/disappointed/suicidal.” “Be prepared,” says the Red, “because here it comes.” By asking for an honest opinion, you released a flood of brutal candor. But you’ll survive—perhaps with your self-confidence a little waterlogged and your ego utterly drowned.

If you’re afraid of conflict, then you shouldn’t put yourself in that situation. A Red has no problem with conflict. Reds don’t consciously create conflict, but a refreshing quarrel every now and then can be a good thing, don’t you think? It’s just another way to communicate.

A little tip: The worst thing you can do once you get into a conflict with a Red is back off. That tactic can cause you serious problems. More on that later.

Simply put, the desire for control is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power over a situation in which either groups or individuals are present. Those who have control needs often feel extremely uneasy about having to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly come up with various strategies to avoid this. A common form of behavior is to talk constantly, interrupting and ignoring others, in order to maintain control over the conversation.

Reds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing, but it’s important to note they are interested in controlling those around them, but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation. (Attention to or control over detail isn’t something we can accuse Reds of.) But it is important for a Red to feel that he can influence what people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues.

At the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more than anyone else. And because a Red feels he knows best, he will keep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right thing. The advantage for a Red is that he gets everything done his way. The disadvantage is obvious: everyone else feels controlled. Some people think it’s a good thing when so...

When he tramples on people’s toes from time to time it’s never intentional—it just happens. In reality, he is one of the warmest and most generous people I have ever met. It’s just that you have to know him to understand this.

The word “egotistic” comes from the Latin word “ego,” meaning “I.” My I is, therefore, my ego. Linguistically, we have consequently chosen to put some kind of equal sign between people with strong egos and being selfish. Naturally, there are many people in our world who are selfish and egotistical. The world is teeming with them. Again, I want you to remember that we are speaking here about perceived behavior.

But we’ve learned to take care of one another. We know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need one another to survive. Cooperation is the model, and I’ve preached this for over two decades. So we think it’s egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before helping others. They are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves. They may not do this consciously, but the effect is the same.

Funny, entertaining, and almost divinely positive. Absolutely. Again—this is their own interpretation. If you ask other people about Yellows, you may well get a somewhat different picture. Many people will agree with what you have read up to now, but you will also hear other comments. It’s especially fun to ask the Blues. They will say that Yellows are selfish, superficial, and overly self-confident. Someone else will say that they talk too much and are bad listeners. Combine that with the observation that they can be distracted and careless. Suddenly the picture is not as flattering. When a Yellow hears these comments, one of two things can happen. Either he gets deeply distressed and genuinely hurt, or he sets off a ferocious argument. It depends. What’s striking is that, over time, none of this criticism will really torment a Yellow very much. On the one hand, he’s a bad listener, and on the other hand, he has what some psychologists might call a selective memory. He simply forgets the difficult bits, and with his positive ethos he finds it easy to say to himself that he doesn’t have any faults or shortcomings.

Yellows are very good communicators. With an emphasis on “very.” None of the other colors come close to the Yellows’ ease in finding words, expressing themselves, and telling a story. It comes so easily, so simply, so effortlessly, that you can’t help being impressed. It’s common knowledge that most people don’t like speaking in front of others. They get heart palpitations and sweaty palms, terrified of making fools of themselves. This is totally alien to Yellows. Making fools of themselves isn’t part of the deal, and if the improbable were to happen you could always laugh it off with another amusing anecdote.

If you’re Yellow, you may have already charged on ahead in this book, because you possibly recognized yourself and thought that this was a very unfair example. Everyone else is wondering how that’s even possible. How can one person dominate the conversation so fully? It’s possible because Yellows have no problems delivering opinions, views, and advice regardless of whether they know anything about the subject or not. A Yellow has a generous approach to his own ability—when an idea pops up in his head, he simply opens his mouth.

People say that for Reds thought and action are the same thing. For Yellows, I would suggest the idea that thought and speech are interrelated. What Yellows share is often completely unprocessed material that just tumbles out of the big opening on their faces.

This is repeated in many different spheres. I have a few acquaintances who are hopeless at keeping time. They are always pleased and excited to think things up, but they are optimists when it comes to time. It makes absolutely no difference what time you suggest; they will not be on time. Seven o’clock, half past seven, or eight. It’s unimportant. They’re late regardless. And when they talk about it, they haggle down their late arrival from forty-five minutes to a little over fifteen minutes. After a while, they actually believe it themselves. But it doesn’t matter—the rest of us wait patiently because their presence will be the highlight of the evening.

We need to talk a little about Yellow’s inability to concentrate. He’s always prepared for new experiences. This is the downside to the incredible openness Yellows have for new things, ideas, and impressions. There are so many new things! And because “new” is synonymous with “good” for a Yellow, it’s best that something new happens all the time. Otherwise, our Yellow friend will lose focus. He can’t be bothered listening to the whole story, the background, and all the details and facts that may actually be relevant. It’s not interesting to him, and he will lose his concentration.

Here Yellows are like little children. They are good at testing the limits. They continue until someone becomes too angry and puts his foot down. And, of course, then the Yellow feels hurt. He just wanted to …

The way Yellows often quickly get bored can have far greater consequences than a little disruptive behavior during meetings. They’re not good at everyday trivial things like administration and follow-ups. As usual, most Yellows would contest what I just wrote. In their own eyes, they are the masters even here. But if we consider the ability to follow up, this could be a serious threat to the effective implementation of a project.