The notion that enduring love need not always manifest as an immediate and powerful attraction traces itself all the way back to the ancient Greeks, who viewed love as a practice of continually learning about and growing closer to one’s partner—more a process of cultivation than an instant connection. Instead of being preoccupied with searching for the perfect match, for centuries, people worked to develop intimate bonds over time. But with the rise of Romanticism in the nineteenth century—a period that prized emotional feeling over cognitive thinking—the prevailing attitude toward love began
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