More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Why do you stay?” Parker whispers into the darkness, and I lower myself to sit on the log beside him. “I’ve racked my brain a thousand times, trying to understand it, trying to see through your eyes, and I can’t. If anything, I imagine things are even darker from where you stand. I know you walk around, pretending everything is fine, acting like you’re happy, and for a long time, I believed it, believed you wanted him instead of me. I thought marrying him is what you wanted, but I … I see the defeat in your eyes, Kenra. I feel it every time I look at you.” He shifts toward me, but I can’t
...more
“It’s ok, Kenra, you can tell me. Please tell me. I just want … I need to know. I need you to tell me you’re happy and in love with the man you’ve chosen to marry because I’m not seeing it.”
I wish I could. I want to tell him every last thing there is to tell. Hear him say that none of it matters, that we’re worth more than the aftermath that would follow should he and I get together. But the risk is too high and the reasons too many.
Truth is, once upon a time, I thought I loved Kellan. And it was the saddest, most demeaning few minutes of my life.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Kenra.”
“I’m a soaking mess.” He lifts my gaze with a finger under my chin. “You’re perfect. Inside and out.”
“Kenra …” he whispers, his eyes searching mine, and I run my hands up his chest. “You have to know … he’ll never have you like this.” My hands freeze against him.
“You will never be his,” he says,
“You will stay away from Parker Baylor.”
“Or I will ruin everyone you care about.”
“Just a heads-up, you’ll be canceling your little trip to California tomorrow. Go to bed, Kenra. We’ll go over the rules and consequences in the morning.”
“Don’t think about sneaking off. You’ll regret it if you do. You’re eighteen now, and I’m done playing games.”
“I don’t know why Danny puts up a front. He’s obviously in love with Sandy. Why not just tell her?”
“Baby,” he speaks against her lips, “love you, like Parker enough. I’d hate to have to kick his ass … so get yours off him.”
My heart clenches, my head aching. “Kens—” “Parker, please … stop.” “Stop what?” “Stop … trying.” Her voice cracks. “Stop looking at me like I’m everything.”
“I can’t, Kens.” I reach out, grabbing ahold of her closed fists. She tenses and tries to pull away, but my grip is firm. Gentle but firm. “Won’t ever.”
This girl—this beautiful, big-hearted girl—is so lost inside herself and sees no way out.
She numbs her hurt with the break of her own skin.
“I’ve got your all, Hero. Always. What hurts you hurts me.”
“One, everything stays how it is now.” She tips her head. “That’s the sucky one, obviously.” “Agreed.” “Second, you flip the fucking switch on her.” My brows jump, and she smirks.
“Go balls out. She doesn’t think she needs you. Make her. She knows she wants you. Show her what having you feels like. Be her hero, Parker.”
“Fourth down, five seconds on the clock. Offense is down by a touchdown. No choice but to go for a pass. What’s the safety gonna do?”
“Interception time.” “Damn straight.” “This is the bad choice.” “It’s the only choice.”
“If anyone could save her from herself, it would be you, but I can guarantee, it won’t be any kind of easy. I don’t know what’s happening or how bad it is, but I know those things for sure. And I know you. If you don’t do this, Parker, you’ll regret it. I can’t have that. I need you. She needs you.”
“How can you be so sure, Lolli Bear?” I whisper, swallowing past the lump threatening to clog my throat. “Because I see you in her eyes, just like you saw Nate in mine.”
“Make her see, Hero.”
Well, I’m done standing here, watching her crumble. She falls; I fall. Might as well fall into each other.
“I’m leaving at five a.m.” My words are a rushed whisper but strong. “I’ll wait outside, in my truck, until five ten exactly. For you.”
“Come to me, Kens,” I whisper,
Defense. That’s what Lolli called it. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Because, when it comes to Kenra Monroe, I’ve always been defenseless.
I could never be with Mia when my feelings for Lolli are still sometimes confusing.
the fact of the matter is, at the end of the night, when I climb in bed and close my eyes, it’s soft brown eyes that stare back at me, mocking me. Reminding me of all the things I want but can’t have.
I hate her and everything she did to our family.
“Why are you here, Kens?” “To dance,” she whispers, bringing our hands to cover her heart. “You came here to dance?” “I came here to dance with you.” Her eyes fall to my lips.
nothing is ever enough when it comes to Kenra—so I step in even more.
“Why do you wanna dance with me?” I speak low, and she licks her lips. “Hmm?” “Because, last time, I never got the chance.”
We’re standing on an empty corner in front of some stranger’s house. We have no music and no dance floor. But none of that matters. If she wants to dance, we’ll dance.
I sense it. Her final good-bye. That’s why she’s here.
With a shuddered breath, I tighten my hold, burying my head in her neck as she begins to cry into mine. This is it. She’s marrying Kellan. She chose him for real. Over me.
We were only supposed to be friends, but somewhere along the way, I forgot to remember she wasn’t mine to keep and gave her my heart anyway.
And, once again, my heart drives away, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers into the dark morning, and I breathe in his words. “Be happy.”
She came. She’s here, with me, in my truck. I never would have thought she’d come, but I’m damn glad she did.
Kenra needs to remember what living feels like. So, that’s my goal for the next two days. I’m gonna have fun with this beautiful girl, see her smile wide, and hear her laugh loud. I wanna watch her dance along the street and talk to a stranger. All the things the wide-eyed, lively girl she used to be would have done. I want to remind her who she is. I want my Kenra back.
“This is crazy,” she whispers slowly. “You know that?” I shrug, not wanting to stop and think about it. “Nothing feels crazy when it’s with you, Kens. We’ve done this a hundred times. We’ll just have a better view here.”
“We’re gonna have fun, Kens. I promise.” “I know we will … that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Never be afraid of what you feel when you’re with me. I’ve got you.” “Always,” she whispers.
don’t want to be in the way.” “You could never be in the way.”
“I’m sorry you got interrupted out there. Did you …” His features tighten. “You don’t wanna have lunch?” I go to speak but pause as I look him over. This woman likes him—I can sense it—and here he is, not jumping at the chance to rush me off but bummed at the thought of my leaving. Kellan would be pushing me to go up to the room, feeding me Xanax and fake concerns.
“Hey”—Parker steps close, running the tips of his fingers over my temple— “focus on now, Kens. Don’t think about anything else.” I turn my head, letting my cheek brush against his wrist. “How do you always know?” “Same way you do. I’m inside you, Kens. Can’t fight it. Don’t want to.”
