Get in Trouble: Stories
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Read between March 19 - April 8, 2023
40%
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Valley of the Girls
41%
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Penn Hackney
Question
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Anubis will judge you. Ammit will devour you.”
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You try laughing when you’re down in the dark, in your sister’s secret burial chamber—not the decoy one where everybody hangs out and drinks, where once—oh, God, how sweet is that memory still—you and your sister’s Face did it on the memorial stone—under three hundred thousand limestone blocks,
41%
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down at the bottom of a shaft behind a door in an antechamber that maybe somebody, in a couple of hun...
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ushabti
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The Book of the Dead.
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Fireworks and Faces, celebrities promoting their new thing.”
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her hobby is breeding chimeras.
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this variation on French bullfighting, Taureau Piscine, except with unicorns.
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Penn Hackney
Haha
43%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
43%
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The Entourage.
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the Face.
44%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
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Darius
45%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
47%
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“Dorothy Gale,”
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Bunnatine Powderfinger.
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Biscuit.
48%
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“The Daily Catastrophe
Penn Hackney
Haha
48%
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“That’s the best part about saving the world. The poetry.
Penn Hackney
Haha
48%
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“Little Red Riding Hood.”
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“Sleeping Beauty?”
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“Or does she not count, because some guy had to come along and save her?”
Penn Hackney
Haha
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maybe he was thinking about being able to sleep in for a hundred years.
Penn Hackney
Haha
48%
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“Her superpower is the ability to sleep through anything.
Penn Hackney
Haha
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Origin story:
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Robert Potter
49%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
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Penn Hackney
Haha
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Penn Hackney
Haha
50%
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Volan Crowe?”
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I don’t float real well when my ears get cold.”
51%
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They’re all unwed mothers, too. They bring their kids to work and the kids are running around everywhere and they’re all wearing these really great superhero costumes.
52%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
52%
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finally she made up some story about this guy from another planet. Some tourist.
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I never got more than two feet off the ground. Two fucking feet. What’s two feet good for? Waiting tables. I float sometimes, so I don’t get varicose veins like Mom.”
Penn Hackney
Haha
52%
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So busy saving the world, he couldn’t save the Land of Oz.
52%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
53%
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Penn Hackney
Haha
54%
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the kid
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On weekends she came up here and read mystery novels in her car.
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kids getting into trouble.
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the m...
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evil pants.
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Penn Hackney
Haha
55%
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Sent me a piano crate full of albino kittens last week. Some project he’s working on. They pissed everywhere. Had to find homes for them all.
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Penn Hackney
Haha
55%
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don’t say yes if he offers you a game of chess. Try to stay off the subject of chess.