Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be

by Marshall Goldsmith

The best we can hope for is a consistency in our effort—a persistence of striving—that makes other people more charitable about our shortcomings.

We all mess up once in a while. What’s worrisome is when the striving stops, our lapses become more frequent, and we begin to coast on our reputation. That’s the perilous moment when we start to settle for “good enough.”

The problem begins when this good enough attitude spills beyond our marketplace choices and into the things we say and do.

The mustard on a sandwich can be good enough. But in the interpersonal realm—we’re talking about how a husband treats his wife, or a son deals with an aging parent, or a trusted friend responds when people are counting on him—good enough is setting the bar too low.

Satisficing is not an option. It neither satisfies nor suffices. It disappoints people, creates distress where there should be harmony, and, taken to e...

environments that trigger good enough behavior. 1. When our mot...

Skill is the beating heart of high motivation. The more skill we have for the task at hand, the easier it is to do a good job.

we are highly motivated to do things we’re good at. Good performance provides good feedback, placing us in a constantly reinforcing feedback loop.

you’re over fifty, an age when no athlete in history has gotten better than he or she was before fifty. You don’t claim much eye-hand coordination, so you lack the innate skill for the game. And you hate to practice, which I understand is crucial to improvement. Does that sum up your situation?” He nodded. “My advice is to enjoy the game and quit worrying about getting better. Better golf is not in your future.” I basically told him to settle for good enough—which

when our lack of skill at any task dramatically reduces our motivation to do that task, defaulting to some form of good enough is a shrewd option.

Marginal motivation produces a marginal outcome.

the quality of our goals affects our motivation.

If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised—because you lack the skill, or don’t take the task seriously, or think what you’ve done so far is good enough—don’t take it on.

Frances Hesselbein.

Integrity is an all-or-nothing virtue (like being half pregnant, there’s no such thing as semi-integrity).

Pro bono is an adjective, not an excuse. If you think doing folks a favor justifies doing less than your best, you’re not doing anyone any favors, including yourself. People forget your promise, remember your performance. It’s like a restaurant donating food to a homeless shelter, but delivering shelf-dated leftovers and scraps that hungry people can barely swallow.

Better than nothing is not even close to good enough—and good enough, after we make a promise, is never good enough.

3. When we behave like “amateurs”.

sycophancy

brooding,

taciturn,

professional shoots for the highest standards. An amateur settles for good enough.

4. When we have compliance issues.

orneriness

When we engage in noncompliance, we’re not just being sloppy and lazy. It’s more aggressive and rude than that. We’re thumbing our noses at the world, announcing, “The rules don’t apply to us. Don’t rely on us. We don’t care.” We’re drawing a line at good enough and refusing to budge beyond it.

“I’ll meet Simon halfway,” Nadeem told me. “He’s got to change, too.” “Simon’s not your responsibility,” I said. “You only control how you behave.”

“Why should I have to do all the work? If he doesn’t make an effort, the hell with it.” “Go eighty percent of the way,” I said. “See what happens.”

Nadeem agreed and made it the top priority on his list of Daily Questions: Did I try 80 percent with Simon? He started by apologizing to Simon, telling his alleged nemesis, “Whatever I’ve done in the past, I’m sorry. Our relationship has not worked, and I take responsibility for that. Starting today I’m going to do better.” Th...

Someone in the room asked, “What would you do differently?” “I wouldn’t go eighty percent of the way,” Nadeem said. “I’d go a hundred percent. I learned that if I change my behavior, I change the people around me. If I’d gone all in, we’d be friends even sooner.”

When we dive all the way into adult behavioral change—with 100 percent focus and energy—we become an irresistible force rather than the proverbial immovable object. We begin to change our environment rather than be changed by it. The people around us sense this. We have become the trigger.

What is the most memorable behavioral change you’ve made in your adult life?

I’m looking for voluntary behavioral change that made other people’s lives better because you were better.”

“Love by a thousand cuts,”

skirmishing.

the need for behavioral change is not on their radar until I confront them with the evidence. We can’t change until we know what to change.

errors in figuring out what to change. We waste time on issues we don’t feel that strongly about

We limit ourselves with rigid binary thinking.

“Never wrestle with a pig—because you both get dirty but the pig loves it”).

burnish

Mostly, we suffer a failure of imagination.

Along with being brilliant, they are three of the most dedicated, high-integrity people I have ever met.

the six Engaging Questions: 1. Did I do my best to

set clear...

make progress toward ...

find me...

be h...

build positive relat...

be fully e...

Even the sharpshooters among us can miss a really big target.

gaudy