13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

by Amy Morin

If they had a few spare moments, they may remember something sad or they may worry about the future. So in an attempt to keep their uncomfortable emotions at bay, they keep their minds as busy as possible.

If they had a few spare moments, they may remember something sad or they may worry about the future. So in an attempt to keep their uncomfortable emotions at bay, they keep their minds as busy as possible.

Solitude at the office can increase productivity. Although many office settings promote open work spaces and large brainstorming sessions, a 2000 study called “Cognitive Stimulation in Brainstorming” found that most people in the study performed better when they had some privacy. Spending some time away from everyone has been linked to increased productivity.

Solitude at the office can increase productivity. Although many office settings promote open workspaces and large brainstorming sessions, a 2000 study called “Cognitive Stimulation in Brainstorming” found that most people in the study performed better when they had some privacy. Spending some time away from everyone has been linked to increased productivity.

The ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time also experience less depression.

The ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time also experience less depression.

She says that in the past, she used to wake up thinking about all the things she “had” to get done and she spent her days rushing to get through her to-do list. Now, she slows down and takes time to enjoy each day by doing things like walking her dog and working in her yard.

She says that in the past, she used to wake up thinking about all the things she “had” to get done and she spent her days rushing to get through her to-do list. Now, she slows down and takes time to enjoy each day by doing things like walking her dog and working in her yard.

Reflect on your goals. Take a few moments every day to think about your personal or professional goals. Evaluate how you’re doing and think about any changes you may want to make.

digital connectivity means we have fewer opportunities to be alone with our thoughts. Reaching for your phone to check for messages, scrolling through social media accounts, and reading online news stories can take up a lot of your time.

Digital connectivity means we have fewer opportunities to be alone with our thoughts. Reaching for your phone to check for messages, scrolling through social media accounts, and reading online news stories can take up a lot of your time.

Go for a walk without taking your cell phone. • Shut off all your electronics once in a while just to take a break.

Go for a walk without taking your cell phone. •Shut off all your electronics once in a while just to take a break.

Meditation has been linked to a variety of emotional benefits, including helping those who practice to reduce negative emotions and to gain a new perspective on stressful situations. Some studies report meditation decreases anxiety and depression.

Meditation has been linked to a variety of emotional benefits, including helping those who practice to reduce negative emotions and to gain a new perspective on stressful situations. Some studies report meditation decreases anxiety and depression.

There are several different types of meditation so it may be helpful to conduct some research to find out which could be the best match for you. It doesn’t have to be a long or formal process. Instead, meditation can just be something you do for five minutes each day to calm your mind and develop a better sense of self-awareness.

There are several different types of meditation so it may be helpful to conduct some research to find out which could be the best match for you. It doesn’t have to be a long or formal process. Instead, meditation can just be something you do for five minutes each day to calm your mind and develop a better sense of self-awarness.

Mindfulness is often used synonymously with meditation, but they’re not exactly the same thing. Mindfulness is about developing an acute awareness of what is happening within the moment without forming judgment.

Mindfulness is often used synonymously with meditation, but they’re not exactly the same thing. Mindfulness is about developing an acute awareness of what is happening within the moment without forming judgment.

In today’s world we’re tempted to multitask almost every minute of the day. We send text messages while walking the dog, we listen to the radio while we’re cleaning the kitchen, or we try to carry on a conversation with someone while we’re typing on our laptops. Instead of being mindful of what we’re doing, we’re zoned out.

In today’s world, we’re tempted to multitask almost every minute of the day. We send text messages while walking the dog, we listen to the radio while we’re cleaning the kitchen, or we try to carry on a conversation with someone while we’re typing on our laptops. Instead of being mindful of what we're doing, we're zoned out.

The research on mindfulness shows a lot of similar benefits to meditation: reduced stress, fewer depressive symptoms, improved memory, decreased emotional reactivity, and even improved satisfaction in relationships. Many researchers suggest mindfulness could be the key to finding happiness. It’s also been linked to improved physical health benefits such as increased immune functioning and decreased inflammation from stress.

The research on mindfulness shows a lot of similar benefits to meditation: reduced stress, fewer depressive symptoms, improved memory, decreased emotional reactivity, and even improved satisfaction in relationships. Many researchers suggest mindfulness could be the key to finding happiness. It’s also been linked to improved physical health benefits such as increased immune functioning and decreased inflammation from stress.

Learning skills to quiet your mind and be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful and life-changing experience. In his book 10% Happier, Dan Harris describes how meditation changed his life.

Learning skills to quiet your mind and be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful and life-changing experience. In his book 10% Happier, Dan Harris describes how meditation changed his life.

He’s clear that meditation didn’t magically fix everything in his life, but he says it improved his mood by 10 percent. In his book he says, “Until we look directly at our minds we don’t really know what our lives are about.”

He’s clear that meditation didn’t magically fix everything in his life, but he says it improved his mood by 10 percent. In his book he says, “Until we look directly at our minds we don't really know what our lives are about."

Just like it’s important to spend quality time with loved ones that you want to get to know, it’s imperative that you spend time getting to know yourself. Developing an improved sense of self-awareness can help you continue to recognize what’s holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Just like it’s important to spend quality time with loved ones that you want to get to know, it’s imperative that you spend time getting to know yourself. Developing an improved sense of self-awareness can help you continue to recognize what's holding you back from reaching your full potential.

WHAT’S HELPFUL Learning how to appreciate silence Taking a few minutes every day to be alone with your thoughts Scheduling a date with yourself at least one time a month Learning how to meditate to quiet your mind Practicing mindfulness skills to focus on one task at a time Journaling to sort out your emotions Reflecting on your progress and goals daily

WHAT’S HELPFUL: -Learning how to appreciate silence -Taking a few minutes every day to be alone with your thoughts -Scheduling a date with yourself at least one time a month -Learning how to meditate to quiet your mind -Practicing mindfulness skills to focus on one task at a time -Journaling to sort out your emotions -Reflecting on your progress and goals daily

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. —ROBERT JONES BURDETTE

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." --Robert Jones Burdette

Believing that you shouldn’t have to work as hard or shouldn’t have to go through the same process as everyone else because you’re the exception to the rule isn’t healthy. But you can learn how to stop complaining about not getting what you deserve and start focusing on how to become mentally strong enough that you’ll no longer feel entitled.

Believing that you shouldn’t have to work as hard or shouldn’t have to go through the same process as everyone else because you’re the exception to the rule isn’t healthy. But you can learn how to stop complaining about not getting what you deserve and start focusing on how to become mentally strong enough that you'll no longer feel entitled.

Whether it’s someone who has dealt with unfortunate circumstances and thinks he deserves something to make up for it, or it’s someone who thinks she’s better than everyone else and deserves to be rewarded for it, people like Lucas are everywhere.

Whether it’s someone who has dealt with unfortunate circumstances and thinks he deserves something to make up for it, or it’s someone who thinks she’s better than everyone else and deserves to be rewarded for it, people like Lucas are everywhere.

We live in a world where rights and privileges frequently get confused.

We live in a world where rights and privileges frequently get confused.

Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author of Generation Me and The Narcissism Epidemic, has conducted many studies on narcissism and entitlement. Her studies have found that younger generations have an increased desire for material wealth and a decreased desire to work. She suggests several possible reasons for this disconnect including: • The focus on helping kids develop self-esteem has gone overboard. School programs aimed at improving self-esteem teach kids that they’re all special.

Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author of Generation Me and The Narcissism Epidemic, has conducted many studies on narcissism and entitlement. Her studies have found that younger generations have an increased desire for material wealth and a decreased desire to work. She suggests several possible reasons for this disconnect including: •The focus on helping kids develop self-esteem has gone overboard. School programs aimed at improving self-esteem teach kids that they're all special.

Overindulgent parenting prevents children from learning how to accept responsibility for their behavior. When kids are given whatever they want and they don’t have to experience consequences for misbehavior, they don’t learn the value of earning things.

Overindulgent parenting prevents children from learning how to accept responsibility for their behavior. When kids are given whatever they want and they don’t have to experience consequences for misbehavior, they don't learn the value of earnings things.

Social media fuels mistaken beliefs about self-importance.

Social media fuels mistaken beliefs about self-importance.

If you are always demanding, “I deserve to be cared for and treated well,” you may have trouble offering the type of love and respect that will attract a partner who treats you kindly. When you’re focused on yourself, it is extremely challenging to be empathetic.

If you are always demanding, “I deserve to be cared for and treated well,” you may have trouble offering the type of love and respect that will attract a partner who treats you kindly. When you’re focused on yourself, it is extremely challenging to be empathetic.

When you don’t get everything you want entitlement can lead to feelings of bitterness as you’ll think you were somehow victimized. Instead of enjoying all that you have and all that you’re free to do, you’ll focus on all that you don’t have and all the things you can’t do.

When you don’t get everything you want entitlement can lead to feelings of bitterness as you’ll think you were somehow victimized. Instead of enjoying all that you have and all that you’re free to do, you’ll focus on all that you don't have and all the things you can't do.

No matter whether you’re the smartest person on the planet or you’ve persevered through life’s roughest circumstances, you don’t become more deserving of good fortune than anyone else.

No matter whether you’re the smartest person on the planet or you’ve persevered through life’s roughest circumstances, you don’t become more deserving of good fortune than anyone else.

Most people who feel a sense of entitlement lack self-awareness. They think everyone else perceives them the same way they perceive themselves. Pay attention to the thoughts that you have and keep these truths in mind: • Life isn’t meant to be fair. There isn’t a higher power or any person on Earth who ensures that all humans are dealt a fair or equal hand.

Most people who feel a sense of entitlement lack self-awareness. They think everyone else perceives them the same way they perceive themselves. Pay attention to the thoughts that you have and keep these truths in mind: •Life isn’t meant to be fair. There isn’t a higher power or any person on Earth who ensures that all humans are dealt a fair or equal hand.

You have choices in how you respond to disappointments. Even if you can’t change the situation, you can choose how to respond.

You have choices in how you respond to disappointments. Even if you can’t change the situation, you can choose how to respond.

Whether you’re trying to get along with your coworkers, create genuine friendships, or improve a romantic relationship, you won’t be able to do so unless you’re a team player.

Whether you’re trying to get along with your coworkers, create genuine friendships, or improve a romantic relationship, you won’t be able to do so unless you're a team player.

Focus on your efforts, not your importance. Instead of paying attention to how overqualified you may think you are, focus on your efforts. There is always room for improvement. • Accept criticism gracefully. If someone offers you feedback, don’t be quick to say, “Well, that person is stupid.” Their feedback is based on how they perceive you, which of course is likely to be different from how you perceive yourself. Be willing to evaluate criticism and consider whether you want to change your behavior.

Focus on your efforts, not your importance. Instead of paying attention to how overqualified you may think you are, focus on your efforts. There is always room for improvement. •Accept criticism gracefully. If someone offers you feedback, don’t be quick to say, “Well, that person is stupid.” Their feedback is based on how they perceive you, which of course is likely to be different from how you perceive yourself. Be willing to evaluate criticism and consider whether you want to change your behavior.

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. —NAPOLEON HILL

"Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success." --Napoleon Hill

She’d spent years reading self-help book after self-help book but none of them were life altering. And the three sessions of therapy she’d tried a couple of years ago hadn’t really changed her life either. She was pretty certain that more therapy wouldn’t help, but she thought if she could show her doctor that she’d tried it for a few sessions, he might be willing to prescribe medication that would make her feel happier. She was up front in saying that she didn’t really have any time or energy to devote to therapy at this point in her life.

She’d spent years reading self-help book after self-help book but none of them were life altering. And the three sessions of therapy she’d tried a couple of years ago hadn’t really changed her life either. She was pretty certain that more therapy wouldn’t help, but she thought if she could show her doctor that she’d tried it for a few sessions, he might be willing to prescribe medication that would make her feel happier. She was up front in saying that she didn't really have any time or energy to devote to therapy at this point in her life.

I clarified that therapy didn’t need to be a lifelong commitment. Instead, short-term therapy could be effective. It wasn’t the amount of sessions that made the difference—it was the amount of work she did that would determine how successful therapy would be and how quickly she’d see results.

I clarified that therapy didn’t need to be a lifelong commitment. Instead, short-term therapy could be effective. It wasn’t the amount of sessions that made the difference—it was the amount of work she did that would determine how quickly she'd see results.

Over the next few weeks we discussed how her expectations of immediate gratification had affected her not just personally but also professionally.

Over the next few weeks we discussed how her expectations of immediate gratification had affected her not just personally but also professionally.

Mentally strong people recognize that a quick fix isn’t always the best solution. A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential.

Mentally strong people recognize that a quick fix isn’t always the best solution. A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential.

One in ten Americans takes an antidepressant. Although antidepressants can help people with clinical depression, research shows the vast majority of people taking them haven’t ever been diagnosed with depression by a mental health professional. Still, plenty of people want to take medication as a shortcut to improving their lives.

One in ten Americans takes an antidepressant. Although antidepressants can help people with clinical depression, research shows the vast majority of people taking them haven’t ever been diagnosed with depression by a mental health professional. Still, plenty of people want to take medication as a shortcut to improving their lives.

We underestimate how long change takes. We’re so used to technology accomplishing things quickly, we incorrectly assume that change in all the areas of our lives can happen fast.

We underestimate how long change takes. We’re so used to technology accomplishing things quickly, we incorrectly assume that change in all the areas of our lives can happen fast.

Marcy was missing out on new opportunities because she only wanted to do the things in life that would be quick and painless. Although she devoted countless hours to reading self-help books, she didn’t apply any of the information to her life. She’d always given up on therapy quickly and wanted to find a pill to magically change her life. She overlooked many chances to improve her life because she always expected immediate results. Unrealistic expectations about how easy it is to make changes and get fast results can set you up to fail.

Marcy was missing out on new opportunities because she only wanted to do the things in life that would be quick and painless. Although she devoted countless hours to reading self-help books, she didn’t apply any of the information to her life. She’d always given up on therapy quickly and wanted to find a pill to magically change her life. She overlooked many chances to improve her life because she always expected immediate results. Unrealistic expectations about how easy it is to make changes and get fast results can set you up to fail.

researchers reported they found that patients who were overly confident about their ability to abstain from alcohol when they’re discharged from a rehabilitation facility were more likely to relapse compared to patients who were less confident.

Researchers reported they found that patients who were overly confident about their ability to abstain from alcohol when they’re discharged from a rehabilitation facility were more likely to patients who were less confident.

Expecting immediate results can also cause you to prematurely abandon your efforts. If you aren’t seeing results right away, you may incorrectly assume your efforts aren’t working.

Expecting immediate results can also cause you to prematurely abandon your efforts. If you aren’t seeing results right away, you may incorrectly assume your efforts aren't working.

By the end of treatment, she also recognized that self-improvement—like other changes in life—doesn’t happen immediately and she’d need to continue to devote time and energy to personal growth over the course of her life.

By the end of treatment, she also recognized that self-improvement—like other changes in life—doesn’t happen immediately and she’d need to continue to devote time and energy to personal growth over the course of her life.