Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)

by Tahereh Mafi

“If I let go, you have to promise not to scream,” he says to me. He’s touching my face with his bare hands and I don’t know where I dropped my gun.

Warner drops his hand. His glassy green eyes are so delighted I’m petrified. “God I missed you,” he says to me. “You didn’t actually think I’d let you go so easily?”

I keep seeing his beautiful body crumpled on the ground, red red red.

Warner’s eyes flash. “Kent is dead.”

Warner’s eyes warm unexpectedly. His constant shifts in emotion are difficult to anticipate. Difficult to counter.

“Juliette,” he says. He touches my hand so gently it startles me. “Did you notice? It seems I am immune to your gift.” He studies my eyes. “Isn’t that incredible? Did you notice?” he asks again. “When you tried to escape? Did you feel it . . . ?”

Warner who absorbs every single detail. Of c...

“We can really be together,” he says to me, undeterred by my silence. He pulls me close, too close. I’m frozen. Stunned in grief, in disbelief. His hands reach for my face, his lips for mine.

“I want you to choose me,” he says. “I want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want this—”

“You’re insane,” I choke. “You’re psychotic—”

“Admit it,” he says. “We’re perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. You’re . . . attracted to me.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, Juliette. You’re going to come back with me whether you like it or not. But you can choose to want it. You can choose to enjoy it—”

“That’s not the right answer,” he says, and seems genuinely disappointed. “It’s the only answer you’ll ever get from me.” His lips come too close. “But I love you.” “No you don’t.” His eyes close. He leans his forehead against mine. “You have no idea what you do to me.” “I hate you.”

“God I’d love to just take a bite out of you.”

And I relax. He feels the tension seep out of my limbs and responds in turn. He smiles, loosens his clamp on my shoulders. Slips his arms around my waist. I swallow the vomit threatening to give me away.

place my hands on his chest. He presses me into the line of his body. Tilts my chin up to meet his eyes. “I’ll be good to you,” he whispers. “I’ll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.” I hope I’m not visibly shaking. And he kisses me. Hungrily. Desperately. Eager to break me open and taste me.

But Warner will not be discouraged.

Warner tastes like peppermint, smells like gardenias. His arms are strong around me, his lips soft, almost sweet against my skin. There’s an electric charge between us I hadn’t anticipated. My head is spinning.

Warner lifts me by the waist, hoists me up against the wall, his hands cupping my backside, forcing my legs to wrap around him. He doesn’t realize he’s given me the perfect angle to reach into his coat.

I need him to lean forward just an inch more— My hands wrap around the gun. I feel him freeze. Pull back. I watch his face phase through frames of confusion/dread/anguish/horror/anger. He drops me to the floor just as my fingers pull the trigger for the very first time.

The reverberations are vibrating through my ears and every pulse in my body. It’s a sweet sort of music. A small sort of victory. Because this time the blood is not Adam’s.

Warner is down. I am up and running away with his gun.

Warner was supposed to come back for me when he was ready.” He stops. Looks at me. “God, I’m so happy you’re okay.”

Even Warner never gave us bananas.

“How long do you think we’ll have until Warner finds us?” Adam asks.

“How did you get away from him . . . ?” I’m staring straight out the windshield when I answer. “I shot him.” “No.” Surprise. Awe. Amazement. I show him Warner’s gun. It has a special engraving in the hilt.

We’re both too quiet. “Adam?” “Yeah?” “I don’t know how to drive.”

“Because I’m making Kenji drive, and I don’t want your brother to have to see you like this. It’s dark enough that he won’t see your body. I don’t think he should have to see you hurt.”

“I told James without asking you. I made . . . an assumption.” He stops. “I shouldn’t have. You should have a choice. You should always have a choice. And it’s your choice if you want to be with me.”

“Hey, so, I’m just going to pretend like I can’t hear you guys anymore, okay?” Kenji makes a random motion with his hand. “Go ahead and have your moment.”

“You’re going to get better,” I promise him. “And when you do, I’m going to show you exactly what choice I’ve made. I’m going to memorize every inch of your body with my lips.” He exhales suddenly. Swallows hard.

Kenji grins. “This place has everything. It will blow your goddamn mind.”

Kenji opens Adam’s door. Kenji is no longer smiling. In fact, he looks . . . different. Stronger. Faster. Taller, even. He’s in control. A figure of authority. These people know him.

“They’re going to help him—Juliette—I need you to focus. You can’t fall apart right now. I know it’s been a crazy day—but I need you to stay calm.” His voice. So steady. So suddenly articulate.

Kenji sighs. “You’re starving. You’re exhausted. You’re processing shock and a million other emotions right now. Be logical. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe now. Adam is safe. James is safe.”

“Right.” Of course. Gloves. Even Warner used gloves until he figured it out. Until he figured it out. Until he figured it out. Until he figured it out.

I need to know if he’s dead.

“You’re not going to attack me like you did Kenji, are you?” “I attacked Kenji?” I cringe. “Just a little bit.” He shrugs. “At least now we know he’s not immune to your touch.”

“Hey, beautiful.” “I’m sorry I almost killed you,” I blurt out.

I can’t really look at him. “I panicked,” I try to explain. I clasp and unclasp my fingers. “I figured.” He cocks an eyebrow. “I’m sorry.” “I know.” I nod. “You look better.”

“Don’t make me touch you.” He shakes his head. “It’s incredible how someone can look so right and feel so wrong. Kent is a lucky bastard.”

“Adam,” I whisper. He takes my hand. “Yeah?” “I don’t think he’s dead.”

“He’s not.” Adam turns. Frowns at the voice. “What are you doing here?” “Wow. What a greeting, Kent. Be careful not to pull a muscle thanking me for saving your ass.” “You lied to all of us.”

“Hey, Kenji.” I acknowledge him. “My clothes look good on you.” He steps a bit closer, smiles. I roll my eyes. Adam examines my outfit for the first time. “I didn’t have anything else to wear,” I explain. Adam nods a little slowly. Looks at Kenji. “Did you have a message to deliver?” “Yeah. I’m supposed to show you where you’ll be staying.” “What do you mean?” Kenji grins. “You and James are going to be my new roommates.” Adam swears under his breath. “Sorry, bro, but we don’t have enough rooms for you and Hot Hands over here to have your own private space.” He winks at me. “No offense.” “I have to leave right now?” “Yeah, man. I want to go to sleep soon. I don’t have all day to wait around for your lazy ass.” “Lazy—?”

I’m still tingling when Kenji and Winston burst back into the room. “So how is this suit supposed to make my life easier?” I ask anyone who’ll answer. But Kenji is frozen in place, staring without apology. Opens his mouth. Closes it. Shoves his hands into his pockets.

I’ve been shot.