Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)

by Tahereh Mafi

I slam Warner into the corroded stone. “Don’t you dare shoot her,” Warner shouts at the guards. I haven’t touched his skin yet, but I have the strangest suspicion that I could smash his rib cage into his heart if I just pressed a little harder.

“I should kill you.” My voice is one deep breath, one uncontrolled exhalation. “You—” He tries to swallow. “You just—you just broke through concrete with your bare hands.”

“If any of you hurt her I will shoot you myself,” Warner barks. “But sir—” “STAND DOWN, SOLDIER—”

I stumble backward, stunned, and catch Warner watching me hungrily, eagerly, his emerald eyes bright with boyish fascination. He’s practically trembling in excitement.

“If you ever put me in a position like that again, I will kill you. And I will enjoy it.” I don’t even know if I’m lying.

Adam finds me curled into a ball on the shower floor.

“Juliette . . .” He presses his hand against the glass. I can hardly hear him.

My throat is a reptile, covered in scales. “Someone should just kill me,” I croak.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispers. “It’s what I am,” I choke. “No. Warner’s wrong about you,” Adam says.

“He wants you to be someone you’re not, and you can’t let him break you. Don’t let him get into your head. He wants you to think you’re a monster. He wants you to think you have no choice but to join him. He wants you to think you’ll never be able to live a normal life—”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

His mouth softens into a smile. My bones have disappeared. His nose is touching my nose, his lips one breath away, his eyes devouring me already. I can smell him everywhere; I feel him pressed against me.

He looks at me with so much emotion I nearly crack in half. “God, Juliette—” And he’s kissing me.

My heart is beating so fast I don’t understand why it’s still working.

“You’re my bird,” I tell him. “You’re my bird and you’re going to help me fly away.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he says to me. I duck my head and trip away from the mirror only to have him catch me in his arms. “I’d forgotten my own face,” I whisper. “Just don’t forget who you are,” he says. “I don’t even know.” “Yes you do.” He tilts my face up. “I do.”

I take his hand and hold it to my lips. “I’ve loved you forever,” I tell him.

Adam rushes to exit just as Warner is walking in. They both freeze.

“You took a nap?” “I couldn’t sleep last night.” “You’ve ripped your dress.”

“I have a question,” he says, and I try to kick him in this worthless dress and he just squeezes me up against the wall, the weight of his body pressing me into place, every inch of him covered in clothing, a protective layer between us. “I said I have a question, Juliette.”

He cocks his head. “I don’t recall giving you a notebook. I certainly don’t remember granting you allowance for any possessions, either.” “I brought it with me.” My voice catches. “Now you’re lying.” “What do you want from me?” I panic. “That’s a stupid question, Juliette.” The soft sound of smooth metal slipping out of place. Someone has opened my door. Click. “Get your hands off of her before I bury a bullet in your head.”

Warner’s eyes close very slowly. He steps away very slowly. His lips twitch into a dangerous smile. “Kent.”

Warner actually laughs. He opens his eyes and whips a gun out of his inside pocket only to point it directly at my forehead. “I will kill her right now.” “You’re not that stupid,” Adam says.

“If she moves even a millimeter, I will shoot her. And then I will rip you to pieces.”

point it at Warner’s eyes. “Don’t underestimate me.” “Holy shit.” Adam doesn’t bother hiding his surprise.

“I never underestimate you,” he says to me. “I never have.”

Warner’s lucky we’re showing him mercy.

“I can assure you, soldier, your triumph will be short-lived. You may as well kill me now, because when I find you, I will thoroughly enjoy breaking every bone in your body. You’re a fool if you think you can get away with this.”

“We can’t kill you yet,” I add. “You have to get us out of here.” “You’re making a huge mistake, Juliette,” he says to me. His voice actually softens. “You’re throwing away an entire future.” He sighs. “How do you know you can trust him?”

“He just wants a way out of here and he’s using you!” He steps forward. “I could love you, Juliette—I would treat you like a queen—”

“Only my dead body would allow her to walk out that door.” Warner exercises his jaw and spits blood on the floor. “You I would kill for pleasure,” he says to Adam. “But Juliette is the one I want forever.” “I’m not yours to want.”

“You could love me, you know.” He’s smiling a strange sort of smile. “We would be unstoppable. We would change the world. I could make you happy,” he says to me.

Warner presses his eyes shut for one second. “Juliette. Don’t make a rash decision. Stay with me. I’ll be patient with you. I’ll give you time to adjust. I’ll take care of you—” “You’re insane.”

No one will come near you—you’ll be an outcast like you’ve always been! Nothing has changed! You belong with me!” “She belongs with me.” Adam’s voice could cut through steel. Warner flinches.

“No.” A short, crazed laugh. “Juliette. Please. Please. Don’t tell me he’s filled your head with romantic notions. Please don’t tell me you fell for his false proclamations—”

Adam slams his knee into Warner’s spine. Warner falls to the floor with a muffled crack and a sharp intake of breath.

“I love you,” he says to me, his eyes just as earnest as I remember them, his words just as urgent as they should be. “Don’t let him confuse you—” “You love her?” Warner practically spits. “You don’t even—” “Adam.” The room shifts in and out of focus. I’m staring at the window. I glance back at him. His eyes touch his eyebrows. “You want to jump out?”

“You can’t catch her, you fool.” He squirms in his plastic shackles. “She’s wearing next to nothing. She’ll kill you and kill herself from the fall.”

Warner looks confused. “What are you doing?” I ignore him. “Wait—” I ignore him. “Juliette.” I ignore him. “Juliette!” His voice is tighter, higher, full of anger and confusion. “He can touch you?”

“Goddamn it, Juliette, answer me!” Warner is writhing on the floor, unhinged in a way I never thought possible. He looks wild, his eyes disbelieving, horrified. “Has he touched you?”

Warner swipes for my leg again and I gasp so loud I almost hear it through the sirens shattering my eardrums. I won’t look at him. I won’t look at him. I won’t look at him.

Warner is shouting my name and I look up despite my best efforts. His eyes are two shots of green punched through a pane of glass. Cutting through me. I take a deep breath and hope I won’t die. I take a deep breath and inch my way down the rope. I take a deep breath and hope Warner doesn’t realize what just happened. I hope he doesn’t know he just touched my leg. And nothing happened. Twenty-Eight I’m burning.

It was really too easy to overpower him. It worries me. It makes me think we did something wrong.

Warner must be telling them what to do. I glance down at Adam below me and finally give in to his calls. I squeeze my eyes shut and let go. And fall right into his open arms.

Adam takes my face in his hands and tries to focus my eyes. “I want you to breathe like I am, okay?” I wheeze a bit more. “Focus, Juliette.” His eyes are so determined. Infinitely patient. He looks fearless and I envy him his composure. “Calm your heart,” he says. “Breathe exactly as I do.”

He looks down at my legs and sighs. He almost laughs. I wonder what I must look like, tattered and wild in this shredded dress. The slit Warner created now stops at my hip bone. I must look like a crazed animal. Adam doesn’t seem to mind.

Nothing inherently wrong with you. The observation is so blatantly false I actually start laughing. “There’s nothing wrong with me? You’re kidding, right?”

I don’t know how to respond except with the truth. “Laughter comes from living.” I shrug, try to sound indifferent. “I’ve never really been alive before.” His eyes haven’t wavered in their focus. I can almost feel his heart beating against my skin.

He pulls me close. Kisses the top of my head. “Let’s go home,” he whispers.

part my lips to ask the question and his sneaky smile is the only answer I receive.