Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1)

by Tahereh Mafi

away from Warner,

“Warner was sending me up here against his father’s wishes, and didn’t want anyone to find out he’d broken a 500-thousand-dollar tank. The official report says it was hijacked by rebels.”

“It’s one of the reasons why Warner trusted me with you. He liked that I was willing to die for my duty.”

“Warner had to renew my tracker serum every time I got back. Once it’s gone? It’s gone.” He grins. “So now we can really get the hell out of here.” “But where are we going?” I finally ask. He shifts into gear before he responds. “My house.”

It’s eerily quiet.

He wants Adam dead. He wants me alive. He won’t stop until I’m trapped beside him.

I breathe in one quick, sharp, shaky breath and contemplate telling Adam what happened. No. No. No. No.

There’s no way he could’ve touched me, because if he had, he would’ve cried out in agony. Just like everyone else.

“Juliette?” I swallow back the bullet in my throat. “Yes?” “Why are you crying . . . ?” His voice is almost as gentle as his hand as it breaks free from my grip. He touches the tears rolling down my face. “You can touch me,” I say for the first time, recognize out loud for the first time. My words fade to a whisper.

“It’s always been that way. It’s my fault I took so long to do something about it.” “No.” I’m shaking my head. “It’s not your fault—” “It is. I fell in love with you a long time ago. I just never had the guts to act on it.” “Because I could’ve killed you.”

“That’s why you’ll never be what Warner wants you to be.”

His lips are so close to mine. “Because you still give a damn about the world.”

“James? This is Juliette.” Adam glances at me. “Juliette, this is my brother, James.”

“Juliette, I’ve been searching for you since the day you left. I didn’t know what they were going to do to you.”

“I had to find you,” he whispers. “I asked around everywhere and no one had answers. The world kept falling apart.

“Juliette . . . ?” “You found me.” 3 syllables. 1 whisper of astonishment. “Are you . . . upset?”

“You’re the only one who ever cared,” I say.

“I love you,” I whisper. “So much more than you will ever know.”

“Oh.” He’s looking at me but I’m suddenly distracted by his body and the cargo pants set a little too low on his hips. I realize he must’ve taken his belt off. I force my eyes upward. Allow my fingers to fumble down his abs. He takes a tight breath.

I lean my forehead on his chest. Breathe in the scent of him. He wastes no time pulling me closer. Rests his chin on my head, his hands on my back. And we stand like that until I’m too old to remember a world without his warmth.

“I’ve never asked you to stop.” My fingers rest on the button holding his pants together. “Not once.” He’s staring at me, his chest rising and falling. He seems almost numb with disbelief. I lean into his ear. “Touch me.” And he’s nearly undone.

“She can’t.” “Except for you?” “Right. Except for me.” And Warner.

“She can’t touch anyone except for you.” And Warner. “Right.”

The morning is cool and brisk and my thoughts begin to wander to Warner.

Someone is pounding on the door. I’m up. Spinning. Scanning. Scared. They found us is the only thing I can think of. My stomach is a flimsy crepe, my heart a raging woodpecker, my blood a river of anxiety.

I rummage through Adam’s duffel bag until I find what I’m looking for. 2 guns, 1 for each hand. 2 hands, just in case the guns fail.

“If it were Warner he wouldn’t be knocking,” he says, though he doesn’t lower his weapon.

I know he’s right. Warner would’ve shot down the door, used explosives, killed a hundred people to get to me. He certainly wouldn’t wait for me to open the door. Something calms inside of me but I won’t allow myself to get comfortable. “Who do you think—?”

“Adam!” someone cries. Coughs. “Please, man, if you’re in there—”

“Kenji?”

“Dude, you ran off with the crazy chick! You ran off with the psycho girl!” he’s calling after Adam.

No wonder Warner wants you dead—OW, MAN, what the hell—”

“She’s not crazy. And she’s not deaf, asshole.”

“Everything.” He sighs. “Kenji was a sort of friend of mine back on base. Warner had him tortured after we left. For information.”

I do know that if it were working as it should, Warner would be here by now.

“You can touch her? I mean—shit, I just saw you touch her but that’s not even—”

“No.” I cock my head. “I’m not sure.” Kenji grins. Looks me up and down. “Well damn. But you make crazy sound so good.”

“What?” Kenji laughs, undeterred. “I haven’t been this close to a chick in way too long, bro. And crazy or not—” “I’m not interested.”

Kenji turns to face me. “Well I’m not sure I blame you. I look like hell right now. But I clean up okay.” He attempts a grin. “Give me a couple days. You might change your mind—”

I take his face in my hands, tip up on my toes and kiss him. “I love you.” He’s looking into my eyes and looking at my mouth and his voice is a husky whisper. “Yeah?” “Absolutely.”

“Maybe you should leave her alone before I put that bullet back in your leg,” Adam offers. “I’m sorry—is a lonely man not allowed to make a move, Kent? Maybe I’m actually interested. Maybe you should back the hell off and let her speak for herself.”

“Yes, but let’s not forget that this”—he motions to his battered face—“is not permanent.” “Well, I’m permanently uninterested.”

I want to tell him that Adam’s made me promises.

“Hey, little man,” Kenji interrupts. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I should be more careful. Besides, there are ladies present.” Kenji winks at me. I look away. Look around.

Turns to Kenji. “If you let anything happen to him, I will kill you.” Kenji doesn’t laugh. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll take care of him.” “Juliette?” He takes my hand, and we disappear into the streets.

I try to stay as close as possible to his body because I’m certain Warner has given them orders to bring me back alive.

“Don’t be stupid, Kent—you can only run for so long!” someone shouts. The voice isn’t more than 10 feet away.

“Just give us the girl,” a new voice adds. “Just give us the girl and we won’t shoot you.

Warner only wants the girl.”

I’m so happy I could cry. “It’s about time,” he says. But it’s not Adam who says it.