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Out of hand already.
Please. Just tell me where to go.
Be ready at midnight. I’ll tell you where to go. If you change your mind, just stay offline. It you’ve any sense, you’ll change your mind.
I’ll be ready at midnight.
I’m already thinking about this crazy arrangement as if it has some kind of longevity. It should freak me the fuck out, but it doesn’t.
My wild eye looks at itself in the dark reflection, and behind me I see him. And he’s beautiful. He looks wild. Even wilder than me. Dark and angry and coiled tight. Dangerous.
We’re in the middle of nowhere. “Run.” One word. That’s all he says.
I almost hate myself for wanting it. Almost hate myself for the way she makes me feel. The way she summons all the broken parts of me and makes them sing.
“You’re gonna give me whatever I want,” I whisper, and the words keep coming. “Whatever I want, whenever I want. I’ll be around every fucking corner. In every fucking shadow.”
“I’ll be your monster,” I whisper. “I’ll be every dirty fucking nightmare you ever had.”
“You came looking for me,” I hiss. “Remember that.”
“I found you.”
“And I found you. I found you at the train station. I followed you to the petrol station. I was at your front fucking door.”
“Be the monster…” she breathes, and I slam my fingers all the way inside.
I need this. I need her.
“Be my monster…” she breathes again, but I’m the one calling the shots.
I could kiss her, but I don’t. I can’t. Kissing her demons would free my own. Every single one of them.
She groans as I push straight back in. “More,” she whispers. “Give me everything.”
She’s crazier than I fucking thought, and so am I.
I want so much to land my mouth on hers, but fear it would end us both. She takes it hard. So fucking hard. I close my eyes against hers just to enjoy the sensation. And she kisses me. Gently. Tenderly. Her lips a ghost against mine.
“Come,” I growl. “Show your monster how much you like it.”
“Good girl,” I hiss. “Show me.”
It’s the easiest thing in the world to scoop her up off her feet. She doesn’t say a word as I hold her, just wraps her arms around my shoulders and presses her face to my neck.
This is all kinds of fucked up. The way my heart pangs is all fucking kinds of fucked up. The way I carry her so carefully, defies every rule of crazy.
But I can’t let...
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I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.
Pietro Aretino
I smile at life – at the life a stranger in the night gave me back. A stranger who watches me. Who wants me.
Who’ll be lurking around some shadowy corner when I least expect it. The thought gives me shivers.
I think of my monster. The dark soul in his dark eyes. The way he pushes me, pins me, stretches me and makes me love it. “No. Not now.”
“Fuck you, Jake,” I hiss. “She was mine. Cameron’s mine.” “You’re a fucking fool,” he snarls. “She was mine. I saw her first. I loved her first.”
“Tell me what fucking happened that night. Tell me what started that fucking fire.”
“You did. You sent her running.”
“Why were you there? What were the two of you...
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“What do you fuckin...
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“You were fucking her the whole fucking time?” My eyes fill as full of hate as his. “That’s really what you’re saying? The whole motherfucking time, Jake?” “More than you fucking were,”
“The boy’s mine, Leo. You know it.
I know it. Ain’t no fucking way he’s yours an...
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And it’s there, in my barren living room, with a red hooker dress hanging from my shoulders, that I realise I’m myself again. Or at least some convincing semblance thereof. I’ve been gone a long time. Too long.
I like him best of all.
I wonder if they’ve gone unnoticed by the stranger around the corner. I wonder if he cares.
I hope he cares.
“Is this for me or him?” he whispers, but doesn’t let me speak. “It matters little, you’ll be too fucking sore to take him when I’m done with you.” There’s an edge to his voice. A harshness. Jealousy.
My whole body sings. He’s jealous. He’s really jealous.
“You don’t need to be jealous,” I whisper. “You’re all I think about. I hope you’re waiting around every corner. I fall asleep with my fingers between my legs, pretending they’re yours.”
“Guy trouble, I think,” Sarah answers. “Said she thought his dick was worth it until she got here and found better.”
The monster’s voice is rough in my ear. “Is that fucking so?”
Insanity is knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.
Elizabeth Wurtzel
I love that I’ve marked her. I love that she’ll be conscious of those for days.
