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Before I’d moved in with him, the only things he had delivered were takeaways, booze and men.
I love to say those words our home, to the extent that Jude invented a shot game around it. Every time I used the words in conversation, we all had to down a shot. He and Gabe had got rip roaring drunk one night while I glared at them.
In fact, we did have some teething troubles, in that I’m very messy, and Gabe likes a level of tidiness only really embraced in the armed forces. I like colour, while he’s more neutral than Switzerland, and I don’t come fully awake until lunch, while he’s up at five and raring to go.
“I was only slightly merry. We were celebrating our win at the pub quiz.” “Shame I couldn’t join you. I was just at work, having to take your increasingly furtive phone calls and give you the answers.” “Only on military questions. We had the rest covered.”
“I swear to God you’re going to kill me, Dyl. I only have to be near you, and my cock’s ready and raring to go. I don’t actually think that I’ve got another fuck in me, and if my cock tells you differently just ignore him.” I laugh. “I would never argue with my best friend.”
I’m so glad you ignored every single one of my rules.” He lifts his face, and to my amazement, his eyes are suspiciously shiny. “Because you did, I have a home again and a life, and fuck, most of all I have you, and you’re everything to me. Everything.”
“I’ve never felt this before, and I know that I mess up sometimes, but you need to know that I’m always happy with you,” he says affectionately. “Not always. What about last Friday when I was wrapping presents, and inadvertently sliced open the leather sofa with the scissors?” “Even then I was happy.” “And what about when I put diesel in the car, rather than petrol? You didn’t sound very happy then.” “Don’t push it, Dylan. I’m sure everyone’s happiness has a limit.”
The man fucks like a dream, but his coffee tastes like something crawled up and died in the cup.
Charlie prances up, and Dylan bends to pick him up, crooning nonsense to him and laughing as a tiny pink tongue washes his face. He shoots a look at me. “Are we taking him, because I don’t think he’ll stay on his own? Oh shit, has this thrown a spanner in the works?” I pull them both into my arms. “Of course we’re taking Charlie Hunnam. He’s part of our family.” He laughs. “Jesus, I really wish that sentence was real.”
“Oh, is this my Christmas present? Are we role playing? I can see it now. You’re the hunky kidnapper, and I’m the naughty hostage drawn to you against my will.”
“Okay, hit me with it. Why are we miles away from home in an unknown destination, and one of us is blindfolded in a sadly non-sexual manner?”
the puppy staggers towards us, dragging a stick that’s too big for him. Dylan looks fondly at him. “Just like your daddy, Charlie. Always wanting a big stick in your mouth.”
“Dylan has presentiment. Let it be known far and wide that Dylan is a seer.” “Let it be known far and wide that Dylan is now talking about himself in the third person, and add that earlier on, he guessed his Christmas present was a golden dildo.”
