My Family and Other Animals (The Corfu Trilogy)

by Gerald Durrell

It was originally intended to be a mildly nostalgic account of the natural history of the island, but I made a grave mistake by introducing my family into the book in the first few pages.

‘Thems bastards thinks they owns the islands,’ was Spiro’s comment. He seemed quite unaware of the fact that he was acting as though he did.

‘Oh, Mother, don’t be so old-fashioned,’ Margo said impatiently. ‘After all, you only die once.’ This remark was as baffling as it was true, and successfully silenced Mother.

‘It’s all your fault, Mother,’ said Larry austerely; ‘you shouldn’t have brought us up to be so selfish.’ ‘I like that!’ exclaimed Mother. ‘I never did anything of the sort!’ ‘Well, we didn’t get as selfish as this without some guidance,’ said Larry.

By the end of the meal the influence of the coffee, toast, and eggs made itself felt, and we started to revive, to tell each other what we intended to do, why we intended to do it, and then argue earnestly as to whether each had made a wise decision.

‘So kind,’ murmured the Turk, leaving us in some doubt as to whether he was referring to us or himself.

Leslie had discovered that several small items had been vanishing from the Sea Cow, and he suspected the fishermen who rowed past the jetty at night. He decided that he would give the thieves something to think about, so he attached to his bedroom window three long-barrelled shotguns aiming down the hill at the jetty. By an ingenious arrangement of strings he could fire one barrel after the other without even getting out of bed.

‘It’s not a hangover,’ said Larry with dignity, ‘it’s just the strain of being woken up at the crack of dawn by an hysterical pack of people and having to take control of a crisis.’

‘Don’t be unreasonable, dear; after all, she is a relation.’ ‘What on earth’s that got to do with it? Why should we have to fawn all over the old hag because she’s a relation, when the really sensible thing to do would be to burn her at the stake.’

A ravaged old queen, lying in state, surrounded by her whispering court of flowers.

The family was preparing for a party. As always, we had decided to give the party at a moment’s notice, and for no other reason than that we suddenly felt like it.