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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
J.N. Chaney
Read between
July 3 - July 11, 2017
was wrong.
Was obviously wrong with it
split in two, and then in quarters.
Fell in halves, and with another quick stroke, into quarters
bits of liquid,
"bits" of liquid? Never heard anyone use "bit" to describe any quantity of liquid before
“Terry!” shouted a distant voice from someplace beyond the walls.
Amazingly good timing
dropping some rope into the opening.
A length of rope dropping from the opening
How do you kill something like that?”
The same way you just killed this one
Preferably, if I had one available, a rodent, but I don’t have the inclination to order one from Central, nor the patience to wait. Instead, as I have stated previously, I will be using the mixture on myself.
WHAT!? Order a goddam rodent, you idiot!
but there is no other choice.
Yes there certainly fucking is!
“you’re my friend.”
We're friends, aren't we?
and perhaps they did.
Knowing that was likely the case
causing him to fall
Knocking him
firepower,
Line of fire
man’s body broke in several places, and he screamed.
She shattered bones, tearing a scream from the man's throat
“Whatever she’s telling you, it’s not true. She’s just using you. These people are terrorists. They need to be stopped.”
Isn't John the one who was like "maybe these people have a valid complaint?"
but that simply wouldn’t do.
Oh, no, that simply won't do *sips tea*
struck
Knocked
forcing him to drop the weapon.
Oh yeah he must have been holding it in the classic leg grip
“They’ve brainwashed him Don’t listen!”
Punctuation?
he kicked Terry suddenly in the belly, knocking him back.
This would be kinda hard to do if Terry is close enough to pin him
and hitting the pistol and damaging it.
*rolls eyes*
fell on
Rolled onto
forcing him
Throwing him
without pause,
Yeah, that's what immediately means
and slide
And slid
a nearby
A handy
didn’t listen,
Wasn't listening
he paused.
He checked himself
deflectin...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Terry is not a goddam throwing knife. You don't "deflect" people. You throw, knock them to the ground, redirect, pull, push, etc
called Terry,
Called Terry frantically
didn’t seem to be
Wasn't
smaller
Weaker
out of
From
That so many people had left.
That had grown bigger with every person he had lost
laughing
Cruel, taunting
in a nervous panic.
Overreaction. Just "nervously" is fine
Every time I do, it gives me a kink in my neck. Could you do this for me, Fentin? Please?”
LAME EXCUSE. Think of something better
that Jinel person,”
Just "Jinel"
“Sorry about what I said.”
Just "Sorry about that." Maybe add "I've been under a lot of stress" or something to defuse the situation
engaged the soldiers in a hurry,
Their assault on the soldiers was a haphazard thing,
I know what comes!”
Okay, Baromir
“The hell is that!”
Ah, John's favorite phrase
various directions.
Stop using various as a descriptor. All directions. Multiple directions. Anything but various.
I’m not afraid to pull the trigger,”
She said in complete contradiction to her character thus far
cutting a large chunk
Cutting off?
much the same as the spider had in the mines.
Just like the spider in the mines
centermost region,
Center of mass
in the process,
Unnecessary
“Send me into the sky,” she told him,
Always so damn calm... Just say "throw me!"
going
Punching
soon turning
"soon" is unnecessary
