The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others

by Tali Sharot

Numbers and statistics are necessary and wonderful for uncovering the truth, but they’re not enough to change beliefs, and they are practically useless for motivating action.

The principal idea of this book is that an attempt to change someone’s mind will be successful if it aligns with the core elements that govern how we think. Each chapter will focus on one of seven critical factors—priors (as in prior beliefs), emotion, incentives, agency, curiosity, state of mind, and other people—and will explain how that factor can hinder or help an attempt to influence.

Four factors come into play when we form a new belief: our old belief (this is technically known as the “prior”), our confidence in that old belief, the new evidence, and our confidence in that evidence.

When an established belief is difficult to weed out, seeding a new one may be the answer.

Emotion equates the physiological state of the listener with that of the speaker, which makes it more likely that the listener will process incoming information in a similar manner to how the speaker sees it.

You may think of your emotions as part of a private process that happens inside you. Remember, though, that your feelings leak out and are absorbed by others near and far. The consequences can be significant. Not only are you affecting other people’s well-being, you are also affecting their actions, because mood affects behavior.

This is why a threat of momentous future harm can sometimes be less effective than a minor reward that is immediate and certain. Even if the threat is certain and immediate (like a definite time-out or negative feedback), it may still be less effective than promising an immediate reliable reward, because of the “Go” circuit in the brain, which ties pleasure with action.

Most people become stressed and anxious when their ability to control their environment is removed. This is why many people prefer sitting in the driver’s seat rather than in the passenger’s seat, and also why we feel anxious when we are stuck in traffic, unable to move. Limited control is why some dislike being a guest in another’s home. It’s why physical restraint is psychologically disturbing for humans and animals.

However, sometimes the decision is so complex and taxing that we prefer not to make a decision. For example, if you give people too many options, they become overwhelmed and don’t choose anything.

Three weeks later, when Rodin and Langer assessed the nursing home residents, they discovered that those individuals who’d been encouraged to take more control over their environment were the happiest and participated in the greatest number of activities. Their mental alertness improved, and eighteen months later they were healthier than the residents on the “no agency” floor.

Just giving people a little responsibility, and reminding them that they had a choice, enhanced their well-being.

What is interesting is that the sense of control need only be that—a perception. It is better to guide people toward ultimate solutions while at the same time maintaining their sense of agency, rather than to give orders.

Preflight safety demonstration videos now include everything from models break-dancing in bathing suits to cute cartoons and stand-up comedy. Many highlight enchanting travel destinations. And people watch them, because they fulfill at least one of the principles that make people want to pay attention: they induce positive emotions.

Our intuition is that if we have something important to convey, others will want to know it. This instinct is wrong. In particular, if the information is tied to a bleak message, many will actively avoid it—as was the case with preflight safety briefings. Reframe your message so that the information you provide will induce positive feelings (as the airlines did), highlight the informational gap you are filling, and show how the knowledge can be used for the better.

Just as stress significantly alters the function of your heart, digestive system, immune system, and reproductive system, it also alters your brain. Every time you feel stress creeping up on you, the working of your brain dramatically changes. Within seconds, stress can alter the way you think, the way you make decisions, and the way you behave. And it changes the way you are influenced by those around you.

When we are stressed, we become fixated on detecting dangers; we focus on what can go wrong. This then creates excessively pessimistic views, which, in turn, can cause us to become overly conservative.

The human brain is engineered to acquire knowledge within a social context. We learn almost everything—from what item is most valuable to how to peel an orange—from observing other people’s behavior. We imitate, assimilate, and adopt; and we often do this without awareness.

When the volunteers in our experiment went along with the false recollections of others, about half the time they truly came to believe that those recollections were correct. They were not simply agreeing to save face or avoid conflict; their memory trace was physically altered.