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contemplative prayer does feel like death because it’s a way to practice how to die.
Death is not meant to be a one-time event at the end of life but, rather, a daily experience by which we learn to continually embrace the unknown, step into mystery, and release the need to control.
The contemplative way thrusts us into the beautiful struggle of embracing the unknown and losing the need to control.
To step into the life that is truly life, we’re invited to practice for our death.
What’s so difficult here is how undramatic the process is for such a dramatic hoped-for result.
contemplative spirituality carves the posture of surrender (letting go) into the fabric of our being, making us receptive to transformation.
Especially in an age when we are constantly interrupted by digital distractions, contemplation invites us to return to the present moment where God can be encountered.
The true contemplative is any normal person who allows deep soul work to lead to a broad, outward-facing transformation.
the work was the fruit of her prayers. She led with contemplative prayer, and goodness came forward.
often our work was a poor attempt to serve or please God rather than to display the natural fruit of God’s love in us. Centering Prayer turned this upside down.
In silence, God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
When an instinctive type is forced to stop, they realize how overidentified they are with their drive to do. They are not free.
Stillness as a counterpoint to control brings forward freedom, and inner freedom loosens the grasp of gut people to impose their impassioned drive for good.
Solitude functions as a correction to the feeling type’s dependency on connection and comparison.
By pressing into our Basic Fears, we center ourselves more deeply and find that we don’t have to react to those fears but can respond toward wholeness, toward growth, toward awakening.
At its heart, faith is making the option for the absurd. What we’re really doing is placing all our hope in the idea that these beliefs may in fact be true.
these lies and programs for happiness show up as the subtext in the three temptations of Jesus.
The temptations not only align with the lies we learn to believe about our identities and the programs for happiness we become addicted to, but are direct confrontations of God’s three affirmations of Jesus in the moments immediately before his forty days in the desert.
When we face the lie that we are what we have and in silence learn to listen, God says, “My pleasure over you is all you need.” When we stop our frenetic activity and face the lie that we are what we do, God says, “You are my beloved.” When we withdraw into our own interior solitude to face the lie that we are what others think, God says, “My child, rest in the grace of the truth that you belong to me.”
construction phase of identity, followed by an earth-shattering deconstruction of who we thought we were, which finally brings us to the necessary reconstruction of something truer.
Contemplative practice confronts our resistance to being present, in the now.
At first, solitude, silence, and stillness trigger the most accessible emotion of each of the centers (anxiety or distress for the head types,
Fundamentally what we are doing here is excavating our essence, our True Self, from the lies, programs, and temptations we’ve wrapped around our identity.
Giving attention to our posture allows an intention to emerge. Maybe it’s consenting to God’s love for you—no longer trying to earn it (Two), figure it out (Five), or resist it (Eight), but just letting it wash over you.
Because the Relationists (the Dominant Affect Groups’ Rejection types) avoid acknowledging their needs by denying or rejecting them, their invitation to prayer involves consenting to the gift of having needs.
When Fives consent to silence, they are choosing to trust that God will still be there when their mind is at rest. If it’s true that God’s first language is silence, then when Fives quiet their minds, they have an opportunity to listen to the voice of God. By consenting to silence, Fives find freedom through mystery—an
For many heart types, solitude is a trigger to deeper experiences of loneliness, but in solitude the fears associated with being alone can be faced without distractions. In this way, solitude heals even the most tender cracks in the hearts of the Feeling Center types.
For type Five, consenting to silence is the grace of letting go of the compulsions of their drive, which is always demanding solutions and answers,
Threes almost seem to observe their feelings at arm’s length. However, Threes still have a highly developed intuition for reading the emotional energy of those around them, which allows them to relate to all kinds of people on a myriad of levels.
In solitude Threes don’t have to look for admiration to find the shape of their identity. In solitude they learn they don’t need to prove to God their value, or perform for God to be validated, or need to be seen as worthy before God to pray. Just being alone, trusting that God is near, is their grace.
emotional reservation or detachment is part of the hustle, part of the strategy of observing their environment to determine how they are perceived and therefore how they need to adjust to be loved.
engaging solitude forces them to discover who they are apart from the perceptions of others.
detaching from external sources through solitude forces them to listen to the voice of Love within that provides all the nurturing validation they need.
It offers Threes an opportunity to discover their own significance apart from the admiration they chase to help them feel valuable.
disciplining themselves to be alone and unseen so that they can wake up and learn to see themselves for who they truly are.
Fours must move from desiring to be known (by themselves and others) to resting in the gift of their composed, self-actualized, unshakable True Self.
Though Fives may not offer these gifts readily, they will offer them when they discern it’s safe to do so. Though Fives can recognize a lie with precise lucidity, they still tend to believe the lie that “they are what they have,” a belief that propels their compulsion toward mental activity and problem solving.
silence is necessary for Fives to turn down the exhausting, mental obsession with finding answers. When the Five can consent to silence—essentially giving themselves permission to detach from mental activity—they are at last able to connect with God.
Fives find that consenting to silence heals the external denunciation they constantly experience. They often feel rejected by others while at the same time are obsessed with rejecting what they perceive to be the intrusions of others into their head space.
the constant churning of questions in their minds creates persistent noise that only silence can remedy.
to be present to the silence as an agreement, to intentionally make room for it amid their compulsive mental interrogations. Rather than merely checking out, when Fives make room for silence in true consent they permit Divine interruptions and sacred answers to supersede their own ability to offer what they deem the most sensible solutions to life’s greatest questions.
By saying yes to silence, they find a way of living more freely, not emotionally or mentally detached, but unattached to needing to be the bearer of answers to make the world safe.
Fear is the life preserver that Sixes think will keep them from drowning, and all the mental anxiety produced is the dysfunctional pool that keeps them afloat.
Mental anxiety is their addiction.
resistance to feeling forced to bring closure—which limits freedom and feels like dying to the Seven. True freedom calls for Sevens to arrest their chronic escapism by learning to rest in silence.
Consent may be the toughest for the Eight because it relates to the fear of not being in control. Consent challenges the Eight to move from holding power to consciously letting it go.
Nines tend to attach to relationships or scenarios that need mediation and reconciliation so they don’t have to face their own unreconciled inner self.
The heart of the Examen uses memory to explore the day searching for a consolation—a moment, memory, or experience in which we felt God moving toward us or in us.
invites us to find the courage to search for a desolation—a moment, attitude, or experience in our day in which we found ourselves moving away from God’s love and presence.
we close with hopeful resolution for the future.
