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by
David Deida
Identified with money or accomplishments, a man feels weak when he compares himself to others who have more. But when he knows himself to be self-radiant awareness, conscious and lit up, awakening as man, he blooms in perfect harmony with the immense energy of reality. The infinite force of now is his power and his presence.
Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.
Men often manipulated their women through physical and financial dominance and threat. Women often manipulated their men through emotional and sexual strokes and stabs.
Women are more in control of their economic destiny while they go in increasing numbers to therapists and doctors to cope with stress-related dis-ease. Why is this happening?
Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.
All natural forces flow between two poles. The North and South Poles of the Earth create a force of magnetism. The positive and negative poles of your electrical outlet or car battery create an electrical flow. In the same way, masculine and feminine poles between people create the flow of sexual feeling. This is sexual polarity.
If men and women are clinging to a politically correct sameness even in moments of intimacy, then sexual attraction disappears.
Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you.
Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.
Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what
you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.
Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.
Where do your fears stop you from making a larger contribution to mankind, from earning a higher income, or from earning money in a more creative and enjoyable way? If you were absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the same way as you are now? Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears.
Honor your edge. Honor your choices. Be honest with yourself about them. Be honest with your friends about them. A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn’t aware of his fear.
A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them.
“My deepest wisdom is leading me to this decision. If I am wrong, I will learn from it, and my wisdom will have deepened. I’m willing to be wrong, and grow from it. I trust this process of acting from my deepest wisdom.”
Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it.
Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every aspect of your life. Starting now.
Well, there isn't another way
man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy. If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.
The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.
It’s easy to feel disappointed by life; success is never as fulfilling as you think it is going to be.
You stay open to a vision of your deeper purpose by not filling your time with distractions. Don’t watch TV or play computer games. Don’t go out drinking beer with your friends every night or start dating a bunch of women. Simply wait. You may wish to go on a retreat in a remote area and be by yourself. Whatever it is you decide to do, consciously keep yourself open and available to receiving a vision of what is next. It will come.
When the impulse begins to arise, act on it. Don’t wait for the details. Learn by trial and error what it is you are to do.
You can give love to your family and engage your life’s work, if you discipline yourself to act on your deepest desires with priority.
The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it. Yet, if your purpose is to be free, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise.
Telling her, “I love the shape of your body,” will be much greater incentive for her to exercise than telling her, “I hope you don’t gain any more weight.”
Praise is literal food for feminine qualities. If you want your woman to grow in her radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, praise these qualities. Praise them daily, a number of times.
Praise works. Information doesn’t. Praise motivates. Challenge doesn’t. Try it. Praise specific things you love about your woman five to ten times a day. Find out what happens.
Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself, through the art of mutual gifting.
There are many ways to creatively deal with her moods and help her to open. Tickle her. Take off your clothes and dance the watusi. Sing opera for her. Make animal sounds. Shout at her louder than you ever have and then kiss her passionately. Press your belly into her until she melts. Lift her off the ground and spin her around. Occasionally, talking with her helps, but not as often as humor and physically expressed love.
The amazing thing is this: 90 percent of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her
your love—the same love that is motivating your questioning—immediately and unmistakably.
Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate. She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able t...
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One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy (though not in business or simple friendship) is to be able to relax and surrender, knowing that her man is taking care of everything.
If you are a particularly easygoing man, perhaps a man who has difficulty getting motivated, then a hot woman is probably better for you. Her fiery nature can heat up your system and get you moving. On the other hand, if you tend to be quick tempered and hot yourself, you might find that a more cooling woman heals you and brings a balance to your body and psyche.
If she doesn’t want him, he should immediately cease pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself.
When she complains about financial issues, she is usually feeling a lack in your masculine capacity to direct your life with clarity, purpose, integrity, and wisdom.
The bags under your woman’s eyes and the lines in her face may reveal much about how clearly you are living your highest purpose.
A man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy.
You are the most important thing in my life, and I don’t care if my service to humanity is needed elsewhere, so I’m staying here with you.” Even though part of her would feel glad, a deeper part of her would feel deflated, emptied, let down.
A man could be perfect for ten years, but if he’s an asshole for thirty seconds his woman acts like he’s always been one.
She longs to fill her sense of spiritual emptiness by surrendering her heart and being filled with love. Her basic means toward spiritual unity is surrender into the devotional fullness of unbounded love, rather then breaking through the fear of ego-death into the unconstrained infinity of absolute freedom.
The essential masculine fear is loss of self—which is also the essential masculine desire.
The “killer” your woman wants is the one who knows that life is a process of dying through to that which cannot be lost.
The secret is to match her energy with consciousness demonstrated through your body. If she is screaming and breaking dishes, your body must meet her energy. Your fearlessness and strength of love must manifest through your body. If you are cringing, if your voice is restrained, and you are telling her that you love her, she won’t believe you.
If you hide your deepest gifts from her in fear, you will also hide your deepest gifts from the world in fear.
This sense of starvation—“life is not sustaining me” or “there are no good women”—is usually rooted in a man’s early childhood relationship with his mother. Life itself is the feminine.
You can make use of the native force of sexual desire, for your woman and for other women, and convert your tendency toward fantasy and lust into the force of inspiration.
When you feel sexual lust or desire for any woman, breathe deeply and allow the feeling of desire to magnify. And allow it to magnify more. Don’t let the energy become lodged in your head or genitals, but circulate it throughout your body. Using your breath as the instrument of circulation, bathe every cell in the stimulated energy. Inhale it into your heart, and then feel outward from your heart, feeling the world as if it were your lover. With an exhale, move into the world and penetrate it, skillfully and spontaneously, opening it into
