Still Alice
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Read between August 6 - August 12, 2016
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Alice silently reminisced while they walked.
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her memories of that time in her life were vivid, perfectly intact, and easily accessed.
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almost a little cocky the way they came to her, so full and ready, like they had no knowledge of the war going on just a few centimeters to their left.
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“Where’s John?” asked Alice.
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“He should be home any minute.”
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“So we’re waiting for him.”
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“Uh-...
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“Where’s Anne?” “Anna’s in Boston, w...
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“No, Anne, my sister, whe...
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“Mom, Anne’s dead. She died in a car accident with your mother.”
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She began to shake and cry.
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John stood over them, drenched. “What happened?”
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“She was asking for Anne. She thinks they just died.”
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Why isn’t he upset, too? He’s known about this for a while, that’s why, and he’s been keeping it from me.
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She couldn’t trust him.
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ALICE WOKE UP ON THE couch. She’d been napping a lot lately, sometimes twice a day.
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reentry into the day was jarring.
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She’d been about halfway through Moby-Dick and lost it.
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She hoped she’d left it at the beach. That was at least something she would’ve done before Alzheimer’s.
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She walked over to the microwave, opened the door, and laughed. She had to laugh. “I found Moby-Dick!”
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ALICE
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practiced yoga
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Out of the corner of her eye, she observed her left triceps engaged in holding her body in this position. Solid, sculpted, beautiful. Her whole body looked strong and beautiful.
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She was in the best physical shape of her
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l...
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Then, of course, there was her mind. Unresponsive, disobedient, weakening.
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They ran two miles every morning
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and returned via the same route.
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J...
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could run that distance easily now, but he didn’t enjoy...
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Alice’s instinct had been right. She enjoyed reading plays infinitely more than reading novels or biographies, and talking over what she’d just read with Lydia,
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In analyzing scenes, character, and plot with Lydia, Alice saw the depth of her daughter’s intellect, her rich understanding of human need and emotion and struggle. She saw Lydia. And she loved her.
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Charlie and I have some news to share,” said Anna. “I’m five weeks pregnant with twins!”
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As her ability to track what was said in complex conversations with many participants declined, Alice’s sensitivity to what wasn’t said, to body language and unspoken feelings, had heightened.
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Just beneath Charlie’s happiness and excitement, Alice saw a thick layer of nervousness covering a thicker layer of terror.
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“I think we left each other alone for too long.”
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“I don’t feel left alone, Ali. I like our lives,
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She thought about his pursuit of his passion, his research,
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She
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pressed her lips into a thin smile, holding back her tears just long enough for him to leave her office. She wished she’d been his passion.
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She’d been having a lot of trouble sleeping through the night lately, probably because she was napping a lot during the day.
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Oh, wait. I have that sleeping pill prescription.
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“Ali, what are you doing?” asked John.
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“I’m looking for . . .”
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“I’m looking for something.”
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“Ali, it’s after three. You’re making a racket down here. Can you look for it in the morning?” His voice sounded impatient.
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Oh, wait. I have a way to get to sleep. I have those pills from Dr. Moyer. Where did I put them? She got out of bed and walked downstairs.
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She walked into the kitchen to make some tea.
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The
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tin container where she kept the tea bags wasn’t anywhere on the counter.