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January 10 - December 31, 2019
To break the cycle of worry and fear, I’m learning to focus all my attention on this very moment. I can turn away from destructive thoughts and concentrate instead on the sights and sounds around me: light and shadows, the earth beneath my feet, the pulse of everyday living—all pieces of the here-and-now.
This day is all I have to work with, and it is all I need. If I am tempted to worry about tomorrow’s concerns, I will gently bring my mind back to today. “The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist. Ours only is the present’s tiny point.” Mahmud Shabistari
When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation. Sometimes this means that I don’t get too emotionally involved in a problem; sometimes I may physically leave the room or end a conversation. And sometimes I try to put spiritual space between myself and another person’s alcoholism or behavior. This doesn’t mean I stop loving the person, only that I acknowledge the risks to my own well-being and make choices to take care of myself.
My concept of God evolves. It changes and grows as I continue to change and grow. How wonderful it is, for I now sense a Higher Power that is as alive as I am! Never in my life did I dream of finding such a source of serenity, courage, and wisdom.
Once upon a time I was afraid to live life for myself. This was because I did not know how to do it and thought that there was no one to show me. Now I have a resource deep within me to guide me along life’s many roads. I am not alone on my journey.
worrying will not protect me from the future. It will just keep me from living here and now.
When I have an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip, or to tell something extremely personal to a total stranger, I stop and “Think.” And when my opinion about another person’s business has not been requested, I take the time to “Think” before I get involved. That way I make a conscious choice about how I will respond.
“In Al-Anon we learn: -Not to create a crisis; -Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.”
“Today I can accept myself for what I am because I know that whatever happens, I have a Higher Power and a group of people who will love me anyway.”
I no longer have to wait until my health, my financial situation, or my emotional state collapses before paying attention to my needs. Today I can practice becoming more aware of what my inner voice is trying to teach me. I can listen and learn.
At the start of each day I can make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. This way I begin my day with a strong assertion that I choose to accept the reality of my life. I am moving in a healthy direction, growing ever more able to live a good life and to love those I meet along the way.
Today, if I’m tempted to gossip or to create a drama around someone else’s life, I will ask myself, “What is going on with me?”
“We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.” Thomas à Kempis
Live and Let Live’ sets us free from the compulsion to criticize, judge, condemn, and retaliate . . . [which] can damage us far more than those against whom we use such weapons. Al-Anon helps us to learn tolerance rooted in love.”
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Oscar Wilde
“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” Desiderius Erasmus
When I know too much about my options before the time is right to exercise those options, I tend to use the information only to drive myself crazy. That’s why today, when I am feeling confused, I try to consider it grace. It may not yet be time for me to act.
“Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” Helen Keller
“We move from being at the mercy of any problem that comes along to an inner certainty that no matter what happens in our lives, we will be able to face it, deal with it, and learn from it with the help of our Higher Power.” . . . In All Our Affairs
If I develop the habit of turning to my Higher Power for help with small, everyday matters, I’ll know what to do when faced with more difficult challenges.
I see now that my thinking has often been distorted, my behavior inconsistent. If my perceptions of myself have been so inaccurate, how reliable can my perceptions of others be? I really don’t know what anyone else should think, feel, or do. Therefore, I can no longer justify intolerance.
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.” Mahatma Gandhi
“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Faith takes practice. I will include my Higher Power in more of my actions and decisions today.
Help, comfort, and support are available to me. I am willing to reach out for what I need today.
Today I will remember that uncertainty is not a fault but an opportunity. Everything I do and everything that crosses my path—people, situations, ideas—all have the potential to contribute to my growth and understanding. Just for today, I don’t have to know what that contribution will be.
Detachment is not caring less, it’s caring more for my own serenity.”
I don’t know what is best for others because I don’t know the lessons their Higher Power is offering them. I only know that if I’m caught up in what they should or should not do, I have lost my humility.
I grow in my ability to relate to others when I allow them to be exactly as they are.
“It takes one a long time to become young.” Pablo Picasso
“. . . when we long for life without . . . difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” Peter Marshall
“A family member has no more right to state, ‘If you loved me you would not drink,’ than the right to say, ‘If you loved me you would not have diabetes.’ Excessive drinking is a symptom of the disease. It is a condition, not an act.” A Guide for the Family of the Alcoholic
I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values; to please myself first; to keep an open mind; to detach with love; to rid myself of anger and resentment; to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them; to attend Al-Anon meetings and keep in touch with friends in the fellowship; to be realistic in my expectations; to make healthy choices; and to be grateful for my blessings.
I am not responsible for my alcoholic loved one’s drinking, sobriety, job, cleanliness, diet, dental hygiene, or other choices. It is my responsibility to treat this person with courtesy, gentleness, and love. In this way we both can grow.
Today, if I am tempted to interfere with something that is none of my business, I can turn my attention instead to some way in which I can take care of myself.
The Al-Anon program works when I keep the focus on myself, attend lots of Al-Anon meetings, and make recovery my top priority. As I become more fully myself, I am better able to treat others with love and respect. “We are best able to help others when we ourselves have learned the way to achieve serenity.” The Twelve Steps and Traditions
As I learn to accept my defects, circumstances, and feelings, I learn that I am a worthwhile human being just as I am.
“Easy Does It” suggests not only that I learn to slow down, but also that I learn to lighten up. Today I will strive to take a more accepting attitude toward myself and to enjoy the day, regardless of what I achieve.
“Our free expression—so important to our recovery—rests on our sense of security, knowing that what we share at our meetings will be held in strict confidence.” Al-Anon Spoken Here
Today I’ll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won’t let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed.
I can see myself as more than my feelings, and I can see the alcoholic as more than his or her disease.
In Al-Anon we don’t make anyone’s choices for them, but we do offer advice of a different kind. We suggest attending Al-Anon meetings, finding a Sponsor, and reaching out by phone. We advise our members to practice the Steps, slogans, and Traditions, and to incorporate these principles into every aspect of our lives. This kind of advice helps us to find answers that we can live with.
It’s time to stop waiting for others to take care of me. The only person who can love me the way I want to be loved is me.
Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs. I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life.
Today I will stop from time to time to see how I feel. Perhaps the day will bring joy or perhaps sadness, but either will remind me that I am very much alive. “I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes; nor would I be content with converting my tears . . . into calm. It is my fervent hope that my whole life on this earth will ever be tears and laughter.” Kahlil Gibran
Sometimes it is more loving to allow someone else to experience the natural consequences of their actions, even when it is painful for us both. In the long run, both of us will benefit.
Recovery is a wonderful word. It means getting something back. Today I will try to remember that “that something” is me. “If a man happens to find himself . . . he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life.” James Michener
I spend more time with myself than with anyone else. Wouldn’t it make sense to put some energy into making that relationship as fulfilling as possible? Another person cannot prevent me from feeling lonely, but my inner emptiness can be satisfied. I can come to value my own company. I am a worthwhile companion.
Today, when I’m by myself, I will know that I am in good company. When I stop expecting others to meet all of my needs, I find new and exciting ways to enjoy my own friendship. And when I do get lonely, I have the comfort and support of a Higher Power who never leaves me.
When I feel far away from a Higher Power, I have to listen very carefully. I listen at meetings, I listen to music, I listen to the wisdom that comes through our literature, and I try to be open to what I hear. I never know from where a message will come.
