The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation

by Thich Nhat Hanh

When you believe that everything composed is suffering, how can you find joy?

Pro tip to avoid nihilism

(1) Recognition — If we are angry, we say, “I know that anger is in me.” (2) Acceptance — When we are angry, we do not deny it. We accept what is present. (3) Embracing — We hold our anger in our two arms like a mother holding her crying baby. Our mindfulness embraces our emotion, and this alone can calm our anger and ourselves. (4) Looking deeply — When we are calm enough, we can look deeply to understand what has brought this anger to be, what is causing our baby’s discomfort. (5) Insight — The fruit of looking deeply is understanding the many causes and conditions, primary and secondary, that have brought about our anger, that are causing our baby to cry. Perhaps our baby is hungry.

pro anger management tips i learned in CBT and DBT summed up in 5 bullet points

Our body and mind have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow them to rest.

!!!

We believe we will only be happy if we inflict harm on that person. Our life is motivated solely by the desire for revenge, and everything we say, everything we plan, is to punish that person. At night, we dream of revenge, and we think this will liberate us from our anger and hatred.

I learned that revenge does NOT liberate us from anger the hard way!!

We need the insight that position, revenge, wealth, fame, or possessions are, more often than not, obstacles to our happiness. We need to cultivate the wish to be free of these things so we can enjoy the wonders of life that are always available — the blue sky, the trees, our beautiful children. After three months or six months of mindful sitting, mindful walking, and mindful looking, a deep vision of reality arises in us, and the capacity of being there, enjoying life in the present moment, liberates us from all impulses and brings us real happiness.

me when minimalism (it works tho)

When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is happiness. But later, when we don’t have a toothache, we don’t treasure our non-toothache. Practicing mindfulness helps us learn to appreciate the well-being that is already there.

gratitude good

Asking yourself, What am I doing? will help you overcome the habit of wanting to complete things quickly.

this is so true

If you do not give right attention to the one you love, it is a kind of killing. When you are in the car together, if you are lost in your thoughts, assuming you already know everything about her, she will slowly die. But with mindfulness, your attention will water the wilting flower.

this line made me realize I live life on auto pilot even around my loved ones

As you breathe in, count “one,” and as you breathe out, count “one” again. Then “Two/two,” “Three/three,” until you arrive at ten. After that, go back in the other direction: “Ten/ten,” “Nine/nine,” and so on, until you arrive back at one. If you don’t get lost, you know that you have good concentration. If you do get lost, go back to “one,” and begin again. Relax. It’s only a game. When you succeed in counting, you can drop the numbers if you like and just say “in” and “out.”

breathing meditation explained

Our feelings are not separate from us or caused just by something outside of us. Our feelings are us, and, for that moment, we are those feelings. We needn’t be intoxicated or terrorized by them, nor do we need to reject them. The practice of not clinging to or rejecting feelings is an important part of meditation. If we face our feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into a kind of energy that is healthy and nourishing.

me when I thought my anger was a different self: >:( me when I realized that my anger is apart of myself: :( me when I realized that my anger is a feeling: :O me when I realized that I can transform my anger via understanding and having empathy for myself: :D again, something I learned after years of therapy prior to reading this book

We all have difficult emotions, but if we allow them to dominate us, we will become depleted. Emotions become strong when we do not know how to look after them.

you cannot control the emotions you feel but you can control how you feel them (another thing I learned in therapy)

We have lost our capacity for speaking with kindness.

POV: that girl who recorded someone dying while drinking starbucks and posted it on tiktok instead of calling 911

If you don’t feel that you can continue to listen in this way, ask your friend, “Dear one, can we continue in a few days? I need to renew myself. I need to practice so I can listen to you in the best way I can.” If you are not in good shape, you are not going to listen the best way you can.

this !! if you aren't capable of listening to someone at that moment please communicate that and set boundaries so you can help yourself and the person