The Wonder

by Emma Donoghue

“When you were widowed. A whole new life, you said.”

Men had spewed, soiled, sprayed, seeped, died.

didn’t I feed her as long as she’d let me?”

fornication,

Bog never forgot;

For months I was fed on manna from heaven.

Not for months. Four months, was that it? Four months I was fed on manna from heaven.

Every day during the first week had been much the same until— Refused mother’s greeting.

“When you were fed on manna, who—” Not who gave it to you, because Anna would say that manna came from God. “Who brought it to you?”

“Mammy,”

smiling but oddly silent. So full of chatter at other times, but not when she came to hug her daughter.

“She passed it from her mouth to yours?” “By a holy kiss,” said Anna, nodding, with no sign of shame.

“Like heaven,” said Anna, as if the answer were obvious. “She told you it was from heaven?” Anna looked confused by the question. “That’s what manna is.”

“It’s private.”

“So why tell me?” Lib demanded. “You’re my friend.”

“I don’t need it,” said Anna. Didn’t I feed her as long as she’d let me?

There’s nothing special about you.”

you won’t eat, child, you’ll die.”

Anna looked right at her, then nodde...

“She seems to welcome the prospect of death.”

All he asks us to do is live.”

“Be it done to me.”

self-murder.”

“I will fly and be at rest.”

“Why are you trying to die?” “To give myself.”

the old woman she’d never grow up to be.

If said thirty-three times fasting on a Friday three souls will be released from purgatory, but if on Good Friday the harvest will be thirty-three souls.

If said thirty-three times fasting.

“Your prayer, I adore thee, O most precious cross. Is that why you won’t eat?” Anna’s smile was the oddest thing: joyful, with a dark edge.

“When we guess,” said the girl, “that’s God telling us things.”

“You’re trying to get your brother into heaven.”

“The book never says to stop eating entirely.” “Souls need a lot of cleaning.”

I’ll just keep saying the prayer and begging him to fetch Pat into heaven.”

“That’s to make ...

But maybe he’ll have mercy on Pat. And on me too, even,”

“Then Pat and I can be together again. Sister and brother.”

“He’s waited nine months already, burning.”

“They’ll know Pat and I are safe above.” She corrected herself: “If ’tis God’s will.”

“The soul just—” She wriggled. “What? What does it do?” “Drops the body, like an old coat.”

child meant to die.

wonder of creation.”

From mystical wonder to just being here wonder

God asked just one thing: that you live.”

The Wonder is lif now not self sacrafice

“His plan,” wheezed Anna.

it must also be his plan for you to survive.”

That means it’s your sacred task to keep going. To keep breathing, to eat like the rest of us, to do the daily work of living.”

saying no, always no.

“Sure there’s no telling Anna.”

Be her father.” “Only her earthly one,” said Malachy,

couldn’t imagine taking up her old life there again.)

“I’ll stop at nothing.”