Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

by Gretchen Rubin

Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits shape our existence, and our future. If we change our habits, we change our lives.

But we each must cultivate the habits that work for us.

The most important thing is to know ourselves, and to choose the strategies that work for us.

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.

It’s easier to change our surroundings than ourselves.

We manage what we monitor.

habits eliminate the need for self-control.

People with better self-control (or self-regulation, self-discipline, or willpower) are happier and healthier.

when we try to use self-control to resist temptation, we succeed only about half the time,

habit requires no decision from me, because I’ve already decided.

This freedom from decision making is crucial, because when I have to decide—which often involves resisting temptation or postponing gratification—I tax my self-control.

Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control.

When possible, the brain makes a behavior into a habit, which saves effort and therefore gives us more capacity to deal with complex, novel, or urgent matters.

Habits speed time,

“Essential Seven.”

habits. For one person, organized files are a crucial tool for creativity;

If we know ourselves, we’re able to manage ourselves better,

When we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. Therefore, it’s crucial to understand how we respond to expectations.

The fateful tendencies each one of us brings into the world.

UPHOLDERS

But whatever our Tendency, we all share a desire for autonomy. If our feeling of being controlled by others becomes too strong, it can trigger the phenomenon of “reactance,” a resistance to something that’s experienced as a threat to our freedom or our ability to choose.

yet it’s very hard to know myself. I get so distracted by the way I wish I were, or the way I assume I am, that I lose sight of what’s actually true.

I should tailor my habits to the fundamental aspects of my nature that aren’t going to change.

Working on projects steadily, over long periods of time, ignites my creativity.

Many strategies help us change our habits, and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability.

“We manage what we monitor,” and keeping close track of our actions means we do better in categories such as eating, drinking, exercising, working, TV and Internet use, spending—and just about anything else. Self-measurement brings self-awareness, and self-awareness strengthens our self-control.

Accurate monitoring helps determine whether a habit is worth the time, money, or energy it consumes.

Quantified Self movement, a community of those who use technology to track every aspect of their daily life and performance—

According to a 2003 study, Americans, on average, walked 5,117 steps each day, half of what’s recommended.

Also, I enjoyed monitoring. As an Upholder, I like watching my progress and getting credit for my accomplishments, and in some situations, I didn’t mind the grunt work of tracking.

Questioners, too, because they love getting information and using it to shape their habits.

I should monitor whatever is essential to me. In that way, I ensure that my life reflects my values.

We do well to begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter

Exercise relieves anxiety, boosts energy and mood, improves memory, sharpens executive function, and contributes to weight maintenance.

“Act the way I want to feel.” It’s easy to assume that we act because of the way we feel, but to a very great degree, we feel because of the way we act. If I act with more energy, I’ll feel more energetic.

exercise doesn’t promote weight loss. It seems to help people maintain their weight—active people are less likely to gain or regain weight than inactive people—but it’s not associated with weight loss.

The way to lose weight is to change eating habits.

Often we eat not from hunger, but because of routine, social influences, the sight or smell of food, and other external triggers.

alcohol makes me belligerent, indiscreet, and sleepy.

For many people—like me—a clean, well-maintained environment helps to foster a sense of self-command, which in turn makes it easier to maintain good habits.

Also, accomplishing small tasks boosts our sense of “self-efficacy.” The more we trust ourselves to follow through on our own commitments, the more likely we are to believe that we can keep an important habit.

Secret of Adulthood: Keeping up is easier than catching up.

First things first—but we must all decide what comes first, for us.

The Strategy of Scheduling, of setting a specific, regular time for an activity to recur, is one of the most familiar and powerful strategies of habit formation—

Habits grow strongest and fastest when they’re repeated in predictable ways, and for most of us, putting an activity on the schedule tends to lock us into doing it.

Scheduling also forces us to confront the natural limits of the day. It’s tempting to pretend that I can do everything if only I get the “balance” right, but scheduling requires choices. Scheduling one activity makes that time unavailable for anything else.

Scheduling makes activities automatic, which builds habits.

Upholders are particularly attracted to the predictability of schedules and the satisfaction of crossing items off to-do lists.

I observed myself thinking. I observed myself thinking about the fact that I was thinking. I observed myself thinking about the fact that I was thinking about the fact that I was thinking. All this meta-cognition was dizzying.

a habit took sixty-six days to form.